"Give it up." "Whooo."

This is genius. The race itself was pretty entertaining, but the announcers were utterly despicable. As someone commented, "Somewhere, a strip club is missing its MC."

Soapbox Race in Dolores Park, a partial transcript

Stu, is this great or what? This is great Jay! It fuckin' rocks to be here right now in San FRAN-CISCO!!! Give it up for these fans. Let's hear the fans. Whoooooooooo! Hahaha. That's right. We're here in Dolores Park. Red Bull bringing it to us so hard right now with the Soapbox Derby in DOLOR-ES! Whooo! Let's throw it down to my boy Shiboya. Shiboya! Wassuuuuuuuup?!


That is one giant football racin' down the street Stu. Yes it is Jay. The question is this Stu, are they gonna hit the jump? Are they gonna make it to the jump. Can they get there? To the jump. It's all about the jump. Well the track is pretty straight. Everyone makes it to the jump. But I don't know. I don't know. It's gonna be insane. Here they come. Heading for the jump. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand. WHOA!!! No way! Major air! Red Bull style air. Takin' it up a notch. Wow Stu. That jump is about 1 foot higher than the rest of the street. Team College Game Day went about 6 inches before those front wheels hit the ground. IN-SANE AIR!


13 Responses:

  1. rivetpepsquad says:


    Good god.

  2. giles says:

    My mind is now filled with Brucie from Grand Theft Auto IV.

  3. buz says:

    I was glad to be far away from the speakers, but close enough to actually see stuff. It took a buddy 45 minutes to find us as cell and txt were getting flooded, or if we could talk, it was useless due to the noise.

    We did end up having an AWESOME lunch after with much margaritas and meat, then Bullit. You shoulda hooked up w/ us.

    • rivetpepsquad says:

      Where did you go? The Mish got a FLOOD of DOUCHERY.

      • buz says:

        We only waited 10 minutes and I forget the name, but this place was great. Pitchers were $32, but we got 8-9 drinks out of 'em.
        I'd totally go back for much face stuffing. They had all kinds of unusual things on the menu. Definitely not a "taqueria".

        Anyone up for a Mission feasting in a few weeks?

  4. strspn says:

    What sort of announcers do you prefer for your soapbox? Golf? Olymipio-nationalistic? NASCAR? Looks to me like someone set the dial on NASCAR and they need to turn it a few notches towards golf.

    • rivetpepsquad says:

      HEKLINA, that's who we wanted!

    • cattycritic says:

      I'd settle for !douchebag.

      I've been to a rednecks driving left NASCAR race. Announcers beat the ever lovin' hell out of these guys. Not like that's hard.

    • wfaulk says:

      Why, exactly, do you think people need someone to describe what they're seeing to them at all?

      • squirrelonlj says:

        I know I'm replying a little late to the thread, but I'm sure it's for people who aren't paying attention/lame and listening on the radio.

  5. belgand says:

    This actually makes me glad that I decided to skip it at the last minute.