"I'm singing the doom song now"
"Look at what they promised when they took over Congress. I've never heard such hardcore rhetoric. ''The era of the blank check is over! And we will send a sternly worded memorandum -- nonbinding -- to somebody at the White House. Not necessarily the inner executive circle, we certainly don't want to offend, but...'' And then they got in and were like, ''Really, you want to eavesdrop? Okay, we'll let this one go. But this is the last blank check! Unless you want another. But let me say this: The next one will not be blank, because we'll just write in the memo line. Can we write in memo? Would you be bothered by that?'' "
And now: TWO MINUTE HATE!
The changing face of SOMA
So I wake up this afternoon to Alex Steffen informing me that We're All Doomed. To wit, the executive editor of Worldchanging.com was telling me that permafrost on the Arctic seabed has been warmed away, allowing vast underground pockets of methane to ascend in great "chimneys," causing the sea to foam and scientists to fall over in horror because methane is a greenhouse gas twenty times better at its planet-cooking job than good old CO2. These underground deposits were lidded over before the last ice age, apparently, and would have stayed bunged up if, ha ha, there hadn't been rapid climate change in the Arctic over the last twenty years.
Should all concerns be confirmed, it appears that we're all going to die from the escape of monstrous planetary farts from beyond history.
Funnily enough, though, Spook Turds From The Bottom Of The Sea are washing up on the shores of New Zealand. Now, this is New Zealand for you: a six foot long barnacled white lump of fatty crap turns up on the beach. What do the locals do?Mrs Wilkie was keen to cut the greasy lump into blocks and sell it as moisturising sunblock.
Because that's the first thing you think of when an alien turd the size of a Smartcar plonks itself on the sand. Not "what in hell did that come out of?" But "can I screw a few dollars out of people by conning them into rubbing sea-monster shit on their skin?" You can at least rely on the English to try and screw it or smoke it first.
I can't yet construct a workable theory explaining that these things were fired out of an underground sphincter in the Arctic. But I'd like to, if only to make James Lovelock swallow his tongue. Wouldn't it be lovely to explain to him that we discovered where all the indigestible trans fats that we place into the earth in the form of dead people actually go?
Shepard Fairey's in town
Dear people I actually know in real life: We must go to this. I saw his show in NYC, and the full-sized canvas versions of his prints are incredible. I guess he's here until the end of the month? (Which is Tuesday.)
mark your calendars
Sat, Sep 27: Brazilian Girls @ Mezzanine Mon, Sep 29: A Place to Bury Strangers / Sian Alice Group / The Blacks @ Bottom of the Hill Sat, Oct 04: Vertigo (the movie), in Union Square Sun, Oct 05: Babyland @ DNA Lounge Tue, Oct 07: Cruxshadows @ DNA Lounge Thu, Oct 09: Attrition @ DNA Lounge Fri, Oct 17: Johnette Napolitano @ Du Nord Fri, Oct 17: Hubba Hubba Revue @ DNA Lounge Sat, Oct 18: Super Ego @ DNA Lounge Fri, Oct 24: Laurie Anderson @ Zellerbach Fri, Oct 24: Mortified @ Make-Out Room Sat, Oct 25: Laurie Anderson @ Zellerbach Sat, Oct 25: Thrill the World (location still unknown) Sat, Oct 25: Mortified @ Make-Out Room Tue, Oct 28: Fujiya & Miyagi @ Independent Wed, Oct 29: Crystal Castles @ Independent Thu, Oct 30: Crystal Castles @ Independent Sat, Nov 01: Lykke Li @ Independent Thu, Nov 13: Stripmall Architecture @ DNA Lounge Fri, Nov 14: The Breeders @ Slim's Sat, Nov 15: The Breeders @ Slim's Mon, Dec 15: Amanda Palmer @ Bimbo's Fri, Dec 19: Felix da Housecat @ Ruby Skye
Dear people I actually know in real life: who's going with me?
Note: Laurie Anderson is assigned seating and will sell out.
DNA Lounge: Wherein Jesus is spotted in unlikely places.
I found it entertaining that one of the vendors there was only selling a table-full of pasties. I guess that tells you that it's something of an insider crowd... How is it that the pirate store describes themselves? "Purveyors to the Industry", or something like that?
Also: R. Black has outdone himself this time, with his triptych of flyers for the upcoming Goth Week. Collect all three!
"Is this gonna be a stand-up fight, sir?"
Rick Avery is a spamming douchebag.
To: Jamie Zawinski <email@example.com>
Subject: RE: remove
Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:46:37 -0700
I do apologize for not taking you off my list, but it is updated every so often with a master database.
I'm sure you receive other unwanted mail so I am sending you this helpful site where you can take your address off mailing lists:
I hope you find this helpful.
Sotheby's International Realty
117 Greenwich Street San Francisco, CA 94111
Dear Rick Avery,
Please die in a fire.
As mentioned before, I use GreenDimes, and it works great. Pretty much the only paper spam I get is from shitbag realtors like Rick Avery, and from AT&T.
it's made of meat.