Lethal Star Trek blade seized in knives amnesty

I have no joke here:
This horrifying five-foot weapon has been recovered by police during a knife amnesty. The three-handled sword with a blade at either end, designed to be swung like a paddle, shocked officers who took custody of it.

A spokesman for police in Gloucester, where it was surrendered, said: "It is a particularly nasty weapon that can, literally, take someone's head off. We are very glad it is off the streets and we want more weapons handed in."

The blade is believed to be a stainless-steel copy of a Klingon weapon used in the science fiction series Star Trek. "It's an extremely dangerous weapon," said a martial arts expert last night.

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61 Responses:

  1. skywaterblue says:

    Actually, I'd love to know if anyone had ever been killed by bat'leth.

    It has to have happened at some point, right?

    • dummyswitch says:

      People tend not to be killed by Bat'leth; rather, repeated blows to the forehead cause the victims' fractured skulls to heal into interesting configurations.

      THAT'S HOW THAT HAPPENED.

  2. duskwuff says:

    "We are very glad it is off the streets and we want more weapons handed in."

    Because there are obviously thugs on the streets hiding bat'leth under their coats.

  3. meoka2368 says:

    Here I am, trying to find a place to buy one, and someone's just giving his away. Damn.

  4. muerte says:

    Most of those are cheap replicas, and not sharp at all. So it's no more dangerous than swinging a 2x4 around. I suppose if someone sharpened an edge on it, it would be dangerous.

  5. ladyjalana says:

    Well, they already made guns illegal and mysteriously they still have violent crime, so now it must be all the knives, bat'leth, and morningstars that are causing it.

    Can't be the *criminals*...

  6. korgmeister says:

    How in the hell is it even possible to wield something that ridiculous looking effectively in combat?

  7. Dear Gloucester police, in Soviet England, bat'leth jokes you.

    Also, nice background.

  8. slacktide says:

    Is that a police officer or an airline captain?

    Ahhhhhhhh.... good morning ladies and gentlemen. We have just reached our cruising orbit, 0.8 loghqam from Q'onoS. I have just slain the co-pilot in a deadly Bat'leth competition after he insulted my great-grandfather's honor. If you look out the left side of the bird of prey, you can see the Grand Canyon.

  9. hadlock says:

    My dad and I made some of those out of plywood when I was a kid. Ours were a bit more sawtooth-bladed though, which caused them to catch and rotate around the opposing blade as an axis. Mom quickly outlawed their use...

  10. badmole says:

    A bat'leth is no joking matter.

  11. xenogram says:

    "It's an extremely dangerous weapon" said a martial arts expert star trek fan wearing gray trackpants last night.

  12. mcity says:

    Why the "furries" tag?

    • cryptomail says:

      It's not a huge leap to bundle Star Trek (dress up fans), in with the Furries.
      Both groups wake up in the morning, brush their teeth, sip morning coffee, and act on their dress up fetishes.

  13. jkonrath says:

    I somehow know that somewhere, someone is trying to develop a Wii Bat'leth controller for some Nintendo Klingon game.

  14. taskboy3000 says:

    «The blade is believed to be a stainless-steel copy of a Klingon weapon used in the science fiction series Star Trek. "It's an extremely dangerous weapon," said a martial arts expert last night.»

    It's only dangerous with the right training. No mere amateur can expect to place well in the Bat'leth competition. Bah!

    QAPLA'!

  15. baconmonkey says:

    unrelated:

    Child stealing Swarm-Bots

  16. nightrider says:

    Late to the party, as usual, but I felt compelled to chime in with this little gem:

  17. When 3-handed Klingon blades are outlawed, only outlaws will have 3-handed Klingon blades.