I have no joke here: This horrifying five-foot weapon has been recovered by police during a knife amnesty. The three-handled sword with a blade at either end, designed to be swung like a paddle, shocked officers who took custody of it.
A spokesman for police in Gloucester, where it was surrendered, said: "It is a particularly nasty weapon that can, literally, take someone's head off. We are very glad it is off the streets and we want more weapons handed in."
The blade is believed to be a stainless-steel copy of a Klingon weapon used in the science fiction series Star Trek. "It's an extremely dangerous weapon," said a martial arts expert last night.
Actually, I'd love to know if anyone had ever been killed by bat'leth.
It has to have happened at some point, right?
People tend not to be killed by Bat'leth; rather, repeated blows to the forehead cause the victims' fractured skulls to heal into interesting configurations.
THAT'S HOW THAT HAPPENED.
"We are very glad it is off the streets and we want more weapons handed in."
Because there are obviously thugs on the streets hiding bat'leth under their coats.
Here I am, trying to find a place to buy one, and someone's just giving his away. Damn.
Most of those are cheap replicas, and not sharp at all. So it's no more dangerous than swinging a 2x4 around. I suppose if someone sharpened an edge on it, it would be dangerous.
Well, they already made guns illegal and mysteriously they still have violent crime, so now it must be all the knives, bat'leth, and morningstars that are causing it.
Can't be the *criminals*...
Couldn't be the rising inequality and social injustice, either.
England's got that too?
Moreso than it used to, apparently, last time I checked.
Yeah but people are always saying that.
To me it's kinda degenerated into a placeholder phrase for "They changed it, now it sucks".
I mean, are we talking about an income inequality thing, the whole urban/rural divide they have in England (which is oddly opposite to the US in most respects) or the increasing ethnic tensions, or rising drug and alcohol abuse or something else entirely?
I think we're just talking about those things generally.
BTW, love your Sars. <3 <3 <3
A satisfying liberal explanation that will satisfy liberals.
"It's a fair cop but society is to blame."
"Right! We'll be charging them too." --The Church Police
Um... I'm not a liberal, I'm a Marxist.
Objectivist vs Marxist.
FAITO!
Ah, explains why she's only got three friends.
Shouldn't you be busy lobbying LJ for a "comrades" option?
Cool.
What do you wanna be when you grow up?
A city planner, why?
Are you under the impression that in a post about some Star Trek related dumbassery, I really care to hear you arguing about politics with yourself?
I wield the mighty stick of Bannination.
Oh! Sorry.
Which one do you like best? Chico, Harpo, Groucho, Gummo, Zeppo?
I'm a Groucho guy myself.
Wasn't there a sixth?
Darth Harpo?
Richard.
Gary.
(Sisters represent!)
How in the hell is it even possible to wield something that ridiculous looking effectively in combat?
I've seen a lot of fights in my time and that one was easily the stupidest.
Oh, but, were you *listening* to that fight?
*washes ears*
Clearly the automatic filters I have to protect my sanity are better than ever!
Opera as a martial art? Only the Klingons....
I can almost hear them yelling "TEN NORMAL! TEN NORMAL!"
::facepalm::
Today IS a good day to get stitches!
no costumes?
clearly just casual fans
FATTY FIGHT!!!
(to the victor the nachos!)
I think I sprained something in my brain.
I am the only one who wishes I were there? This is like every boffer-brawl I ever had throughout childhood and adolescence except without a little brother to go running to mom when I made his nose bleed.
You people are clearing missing the point: kicking the crap out of people with pointy objects is *fun*
It's not.
Hence "Star Trek".
It, like libertarianism, is completely useless outside an argument on the internet.
Which is more awesome? The bat'leth or the mighty stick of Bannination?
Those things look impressive, but I'd rather have a big stick.
Dear Gloucester police, in Soviet England, bat'leth jokes you.
Also, nice background.
Is that a police officer or an airline captain?
Ahhhhhhhh.... good morning ladies and gentlemen. We have just reached our cruising orbit, 0.8 loghqam from Q'onoS. I have just slain the co-pilot in a deadly Bat'leth competition after he insulted my great-grandfather's honor. If you look out the left side of the bird of prey, you can see the Grand Canyon.
It's Inspector McGarry of Gloucester: "Tisn't a bad day to die."
My dad and I made some of those out of plywood when I was a kid. Ours were a bit more sawtooth-bladed though, which caused them to catch and rotate around the opposing blade as an axis. Mom quickly outlawed their use...
A bat'leth is no joking matter.
It is clearly a serious weapon of honour.
"It's an extremely dangerous weapon" said a
martial arts expertstar trek fan wearing gray trackpants last night.My thought when I read the extremely dangerous weapon part was: "to the target, or to the wielder?"
it's extremely dangerous... your foe might die laughing :)
Why the "furries" tag?
It's not a huge leap to bundle Star Trek (dress up fans), in with the Furries.
Both groups wake up in the morning, brush their teeth, sip morning coffee, and act on their dress up fetishes.
Yawn...
OH I'M SORRY I'LL PROCESS YOUR REFUND RIGHT NOW.
WE VALUE YOU AS A CUSTOMER AND WILL TAKE YOUR INPUT INTO CONSIDERATION IN THE FUTURE.
Now, see... that is the consistently-delivered experience I come here for.
I somehow know that somewhere, someone is trying to develop a Wii Bat'leth controller for some Nintendo Klingon game.
«The blade is believed to be a stainless-steel copy of a Klingon weapon used in the science fiction series Star Trek. "It's an extremely dangerous weapon," said a martial arts expert last night.»
It's only dangerous with the right training. No mere amateur can expect to place well in the Bat'leth competition. Bah!
QAPLA'!
unrelated:
Child stealing Swarm-Bots
Late to the party, as usual, but I felt compelled to chime in with this little gem:
When 3-handed Klingon blades are outlawed, only outlaws will have 3-handed Klingon blades.
When knives are outlawed, only Klingons will have knives.
They didn't because someone made it as a serious argument.