Jokers Charged with Terrorist Conspiracy

Perhaps their mistake was in only leaving cards, rather than also making stultifying speeches about the nature of anarchy:

Two Pembroke teenagers have been charged in connection with a series of playing cards that were defaced with threatening writing and left at stores in Christiansburg and Pearisburg -- a gesture police said the teens admitted had been inspired by this summer's Batman movie, "The Dark Knight."

Justin Colby Dirico and Bryan Eugene Stafford, both 18, admitted to leaving cards that bore handwritten messages inside the Pearisburg Wal-Mart, according to police Chief J.C. Martin.

Both were charged with conspiracy to commit an act of terrorism.

Dirico and Stafford are being held at the New River Regional Jail without bond.

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36 Responses:

  1. benchilada says:

    I wonder what would if happen if I were to send cards to the jail which I never would because that would be wrong.

  2. drjon says:

    Mmm... Anarchy... Tastes like Chicken!

  3. I don't find it unreasonable for them to be charged with a crime (unlike the kid with the LED jacket a while back). But I'd rather see them go free than get slapped with a label that gives the government license to go fairly literally medieval on you.

  4. strathmeyer says:

    Finally, the video game hysteria can end and the movie hysteria can begin.

  5. I say "Lets kill these little shits", who the hell do they think they are leaving cards like that in public places where anyone can find them and scare themselves to death??? Today they saw "Dark Knight" and left some cards somewhere, what are they going to do tomorrow after they watch "V is for Vendetta"??? Kill them now, before it's too late I tell ya...

  6. mackys says:

    Every day, my decision to get the hell out of the USA looks wiser and wiser...

  7. hatter says:

    Sounds like terrorism to me, small-T terrorism though, which perhaps they need to rewrite some law to avoid getting it confused with big-T Terrorism, it's associated crusade and all the nonsense that goes with it.

    the hatter

    • greyface says:

      "Small t terrorism" and "scaring people" are not synonymous phrases.

    • keimel says:

      This is in no way terrorism, no matter whether it's T or t. Whether its domestic of "evil doer" branded terrorism.

      Anyone 'terrorized' by this is an idiot.

  8. pozorvlak says:

    The UK authorities are very fond of using the various Terrorism Acts to detain people for behaviour offensive to a copper that doesn't have a specific law against it, too :-(

    • greyface says:

      In this case there is a law against it, threats of violence, even short of murder, are crimes in the U.S.
      This is just the law enforcement community deciding that they'd MUCH prefer "captured terrorists and broke up a terrorist conspiracy" on their record than "arrested dumbass teens making illegal threats."

      • cetan says:

        I think we should charge people who leave religious testimonials lying around as terrorists as well. Often these tracts inform me that if I don't believe I WILL DIE and GO TO HELL. Talk about threatening...

  9. phoenixredux says:

    Held without bond?

    I'm sorry, but who did they actually kill? I won't deny that they were very stupid kids, and probably should be charged with something less drastic. But they must have a piss-poor lawyer if they're being held without bail. Or some prosecutor has a giant bug up his ass.

    I wonder if their big mistake was in their choice of targets. Wal-Mart is notorious for that sort of bullying behavior. Threaten Wal-Mart, and you get charged with being a Terrorist and shipped to Gitmo. But if they had, I don't know... shot an old man in the face, for example, they could be Vice President. What a country.

  10. moonracer says:

    If I got arrested for anything and was labeled a "terrorist" (big or small t) I'd probably soil myself. I wonder if after this is over, if the ordeal will wake these kids up even further to how messed up the world is or just scare them into submission.

  11. vomitrocity says:

    While reading this, I could only imagine a small gang of Pembroke Welsh Corgis sneaking about various -marts with little playing cards in their mouths, hiding them and scampering away.

  12. mizalon says:

    Now that the Christiansburg police have caught two terrorists, they can apply for additional Homeland Security funding and buy Segways for all their officers.