I missed the apocalypse.

Dear Diary, on Saturday, netik, lilmissnever and I went downtown to watch the dry run for the Apocalypse. What it looked like: rent-a-cops closing off a street where a bunch of firemen sat on folding chairs drinking coffee. We also failed to find even a single zombie.

Then lilmissnever took us to what I can only describe as a furry convention. It was a release party for an "elegant gothic lolita" magazine (all three words are false!) I lasted about 45 seconds before I had to flee. There was a pink sugar cookie decorating contest, and a seven foot tranny bunny (no, not Scotty). And this was no mere bunny mask, but a full facial prosthetic, like this.

Overheard: "I really want a fox tail? Because I already have a wolf tail?"


31 Responses:

  1. xinit says:

    You didn't miss the apocalypse; gatherings of furries are one of the primary signs of end times.

  2. sparklydevil says:

    a seven foot tranny bunny (no, not Scotty)

    what??? are we gonna have to have a bunny throwdown?

  3. perligata says:

    I am going to have nightmares.

    Also, which is sadder: a furry so dedicated that he has a full facial prosthetic, or a furry so poor that he can only afford paws and a cheap mask?

  4. mc_kingfish says:

    Oh thanks for not inviting _me_ to your cool furry party!

    I see how it is...

  5. wisedonkey says:

    EGL? More like FBL.

  6. netik says:

    1) Oh crap, I can't believe you found scary-ass latex bunny at DNA in past photos. Your skill at finding these things frightens me.

    2) "banalclypse" for the win. Great name.

  7. lilmissnever says:

    I remain certain that if only we could have found the zombies, we could have led them straight towards the Laura Ashley Lolitas. That would have been worth photographing.

    • belgand says:

      I didn't have a map with me, but the zombies deviated somewhat from the intended route. After running into the Scientology protesters at the pyramid we went up to Portsmouth Square and then south down Powell as opposed to north up Powell. Things somewhat lost focus after leaving Chinatown, but definitely broke up after we hit Union Square and started to spread out. For my cluster it finally ended after we were politely asked to leave the Westfield Center.

      Frankly the thing that worried me most was being on BART and being told that they weren't stopping at Civic Center station because of a "medical emergency". Given that it was during the drill I strongly doubt that any actual emergency happened, but it does reinforce my belief that if there is an actual emergency the official position will be to simply lie to us. Would it have been so hard to tell us the truth and just say that there was some sort of training going on?

      • lilmissnever says:

        The much-promised Zombie Mob twittering was not very helpful for tracking the zombies. I was deeply disappointed. By the time they headed for Chinatown, I had already tricked my companions into heading towards the Elegant Gothic Lolitas. I am sad to hear that the zombies made it as far as the Westfield, but failed to attack the EGL's at the Metreon. For shame!

        I have heard the "medical emergency" excuse while riding BART before. Perhaps they are, in fact, lying in order to cover up something even worse.

        • belgand says:

          I loathe Twitter myself, but even I checked it a few times before I was taken. The problem is that your hands are covered in blood and you don't want to touch your phone. So the Twittering would have to be done by the people following and taking pictures really.

          • edrabbit says:

            twittering with bloody hands on your phone encased in a ziploc bag while shuffling along with a mob of 100-200 of your favorite undead friends is a lot harder than previously thought.

        • kimberley66 says:

          Saturday I arrived downtown, attempting to use the Civic Center BART station to head to the east bay. Upon discovering the station was closed, I noticed the Medical Examiner van across the street, which we all know = DEAD person (people)

          I don't consider DEAD a medical emergency.

          Here is what little I've found online


        • belgand says:

          I was thinking there was a possibility it was real, but given the proximity to what else was going on and the timing it seemed unlikely.

          Perhaps the greater issue is that the first thing that comes to mind isn't "oh, there was a real problem", but "they're lying to me". The conduct by our government in general and our current local government specifically really encourages the second response far more reliably based on my knowledge of events that were already ongoing.

          At the same time I at the corner of Post and Kearny before the mob hit and with Post closed I'm sure the people there for the drill found the zombie antics a bit... well, I'm not sure how they felt. Nor how they felt about my waving signs and shouting in protest over the inevitable zombie menace before my predictions were proved horribly correct.

      • jwz says:

        I suppose that "thousands dying of radiation poisoning" constitutes a medical emergency. So claiming that it was one would have been in keeping with it being a drill.

        • belgand says:

          True, but that's where it becomes a tricky issue of how much you do for a drill. If they just shuttled us past the station claiming it be a medical emergency and there was actual radiation, well, I for one would be upset and probably very, very dead before I had a chance to get upset about it. I understand that shutting down BART just to keep the authenticity of the scenario up would be completely idiotic (but not entirely unexpected sadly), but at the same time it would be nice if they would inform us why the station was closed.

          In the end I'm glad that, in this case at least, they didn't just outright lie to us, but I'm also saddened that there actually was a real emergency. In a way I almost wish they had just been lying.

          • jwz says:
              If they just shuttled us past the station claiming it be a medical emergency and there was actual radiation, well, I for one would be upset

            Suppose there was radiation, and you were the one making decisions. Based on the information you have, your decision is that the right to do is move the train through it quickly instead of shutting down the system. So... do you then choose to put your decision to a vote by the uninformed, confused, scared mob on the train? I'm guessing probably not.

            • belgand says:

              I'm just saying that if there was a real attack I think that sending trains of people past the epicenter is probably not a good idea and that it would likely do little more than result in the death of trainloads of people. Shutting down the system seems like the better option in that scenario.

              • jwz says:

                Maybe, maybe not, you don't know that. As a passenger, you certainly wouldn't know that. The point is, distributing the decision-making about it to the people actually on the train is very likely to lead to more deaths.

                • belgand says:

                  I definitely wouldn't have suggested that they just let the people on the trains decide, but since in this case I was told about the emergency when I boarded at Daly City, I would have preferred it if they told me before I got on or stopped taking on new passengers at least.

                  My point is that lying to people and then putting them into a position of significant, life-threatening danger seems inappropriate. I can see your point about trying to prevent further panic, but, and I think we might not be entirely on the same page here, I think that I would prefer our government to be open and honest with me as much as possible and not hide things from me claiming that it's for my own good.

                  • jwz says:

                    You keep assuming that keeping you on the train is "putting you in danger." Well, assume you're wrong. Assume that letting you off the train would have been putting you in even more danger. Someone has to make that call, and it's not gonna be you.

                    Openness and accountability in government is great. Openness and accountability in crowd control doesn't work.

  8. moof says:

    That was likely dolphin42.

  9. buckminster says:

    Oh damn, we checked upcoming for events that day but didn't see the EGL's. Zombies hella would have crashed that!

    I feel like splintering up after union square was intentional- there were no points on the map after china town, and the original zombies all slipped away. The website all pointed to making it as much a leaderless event as possible. It looks like some hit bart and westfield, some did H&M, some hit Apple again, and still others wound up at the Gold Dust.

  10. ammonoid says:

    The closest I've seen to apocalypse in SF was the 1999 PG+E epic fail (muni meltdown of the same year was a close second).

  11. mcity says:

    a seven foot tranny bunny
    It terrifies me that my first reaction was, "oh, her."

  12. dolphin42 says:

    wow - that's an OLD photo of me, my very first freaky costume.... I must have made quite the impression hahaha


    here's a shot of us this weekend... but tranny? heh... not really, just that all bunnies look the same. it was her birthday... and she likes bunnies. so... nyahh. :)