Best headline of recent memory:

Breaking News: Gang of Bees Attacks the Mission!

I swear to god this neighborhood keeps getting rougher...

Today (August 2nd) at 12:00 noon I spotted this itinerant horde of bees slowly making its way down 14th street between Mission and Valencia. The roving mass was apparently following a fugitive queen as she made her way down the block, clustering on top of cars and buildings with no concern for private property. Police assured a concerned public that there was, in fact, an emergency beekeeper on his way, and that there was no cause for alarm.

Update: Emergency Beekeeper responds!

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Current Music: Belly -- The Bees ♬

13 Responses:

  1. prof_null says:

    Wow, an Emergency Beekeeper? What other strange emergency services might exist? Do they all have special emergency numbers too?

  2. mrfantasy says:

    And they weren't supposed to make it as far north as San Francisco, but clearly global climate change has changed all that.

  3. rnb says:

    I guess now we know where all the missing bees went.

  4. I'm just imagining the dusty yellow and black phone in the emergency beekeeper's study lighting up and buzzing in an 'alert! alert!' fashion. Emergency Beekeeper freezes, honeycomb halfway to lips, eyes wide. The phone hasn't rung in ten years. His beard is long. Muttering checklists under his breath, he hastily grabs gear that hasn't been oiled in a long time and a uniform that's too tight now after answering the phone and telling the commissioner that he's on his way.

    • tjernobyl says:

      The first fully-bearded beekeeper I met said,

      "To be perfectly honest, the honey is a bonus. I keep bees simply because they are bees."

  5. morrisa says:

    As I found out last October, you can find emergency beekeepers in the Yellow Pages under B, for Bees. They are a busy bunch, and they're worth every penny they ask.

  6. infrogmation says:

    The proper response in such situations is to drive the car into the Superdome and crank up the air conditioning.