remember to tip

[ LJ Poll 1198961 ]

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52 Responses:

  1. placeslost says:

    I've decided, though I haven't obtained any hard evidence to back my assumption up, that cow tipping is like snipe hunting. You take someone out there telling them you're going to tip over a cow, and a group run at it, then everyone stops except the new kid who slams into the side of a cow and falls over.

    Like I said though, I have nothing to back that up.

    • On the balance I choose to believe that, even in the face of this very likely explanation, someone, somewhere, has tipped a cow. Humans are weird like that.

      • xinit says:

        Even if it involved a makeshift crane, liquid nitrogen, pulley system, jet propulsion, advanced particle physics, and large volumes of malted beverages, you know MIT or Caltech students have tipped at least one cow.

    • elusis says:

      Ah, I see you grew up in Southern Indiana like I did.

      • placeslost says:

        No, I spent my formative years in Austin, TX. I think here people make more use of the cow fields for the mushrooms, then they tipping of cows. Bunch of hippies

    • I have it on good authority that this is the case - my best friend in high school lived on a cattle farm. The cow tipping thing is a way to get city slickers to make asses of themselves.

  2. i, in fact, drunkenly tipped a cow as a drunken teenager!

  3. psymbiotic says:

    I've had waitstaff at resturants that were bovine-like, that I tipped.

    Egan

  4. chuck4 says:

    Working on the assumption you may know them, you should ask bodyfour or gnat23 about the story of Pete and the Cow sometime. It's best told in person and never put in print.

  5. moof says:

    "Cows are really heavy, and run really, really fast when they're pissed." - my friend on first-hand cow-tipping.

    • ding_0_ says:

      this is my experience with cows also. Though I wasn't out to tip them they managed to surround me and when I was backing away slowly started at a run. I managed to hurdle the fence track and field style.

  6. Funny, you never seem to hear stories of bull tipping.

  7. loic says:

    I've only ever owned one cow, and she slept lying down.

  8. tjcrowley says:

    There is an art to it. I much preferred hypnotizing the chickens.

  9. crandall_1 says:

    It's always funny to me that people that say "yes, I've tipped a cow" always add the Liquor Caveat. As in "I _think_ I tipped a cow, but I was really drunk."

    I was raised on a cattle ranch, and let me put it like this: I will personally get on an airplane, fly to your house, and hand you ten $100 bills if you can provide documented proof that you have ever tipped a cow over and you weren't a male b-part actor in Heathers. Youthful wishes to the contrary, it is fairly simple math: cows weigh, on average, around 400kg. They sleep, lying down, on a surface made out of wet grass, mud, and shit. If you say you've seen it done, you are lying. If you say you've done it, you are lying. Prove me wrong.

    • zwol says:

      There's maybe a hair to be split here.

      The folks that are saying they tipped cows, are they saying they succeeded, or are they saying they went out on a farm, found a cow that happened to be standing up but not paying attention, gave it a good hard shove, and then had to run like hell?

      • crandall_1 says:

        "tip" is a transitive verb. You can say "I tried to tip a cow" which implies failure, or "I tipped a cow" which necessarily denotes success. There's no shade of grey there. It's a binary state.

        • zwol says:

          I think "I tipped a cow" could perfectly well be meant to convey "I participated in the activity of cow-tipping, i.e. I was one of a group of drunken teenagers who went out to a farm with some intention of trying to tip over a cow."

          • crandall_1 says:

            Does "I fucked my girlfriend" say you participated in the act of fucking? (And by i.e. you mean e.g.) e.g. "I was one of a group of drunken teenagers who went in to my girlfriend's bedroom with some intention of trying to fuck my girlfriend?"

            Sorry, but English doesn't work that way. Either you did it or you didn't. Saying you did when you did not is de facto lying.

            • zwol says:

              Whether or not you believe they are lying, yes, I think teenagers might say, and probably have said, "I fucked my girlfriend" when what actually happened was "I was one of a group of drunken teenagers, etc."

              And you're wrong about i.e. versus e.g., so nyah.

              • cattycritic says:

                For the record, since lots of people seem to confuse these:

                i.e. = id est = that is
                e.g. = exempli gratia = for example

                ^^^^Your tax dollars at work. (Thanks to my mom for that community college credit boondoggle to teach me and my friends Latin in high school)

    • genericvox says:

      I agree.

      I have seen live cows. I have seen live cows sleeping. I have family members that own/have owned cattle. I have never seen a cow sleep while standing, although I suppose it's possible... and I have never seen an actual "cow tipping". Nor have these cattle owning relatives of mine.

      Verdict? Myth.

    • lifftchi says:

      You forget our tool-using capabilities. I've heard from a guy who claims to have tipped a cow with the aid of a truck and a bunch of rope. (Or something like that. It was described to me a long time ago.)

      • crandall_1 says:

        Well, that's just semantics. I've tipped a cow via the expedient method of putting a 30-06 to its forehead and pulling the trigger, but I didn't think we were going to go that far. But it would give you pause to think about exactly why the Elmer's Glue logo is a cow.

    • nightrider says:

      Sadly, you can "tip" a cow.

      My experience comes from working on a dairy farm adjacent to a college town for a couple of years. While I was there, we came in to work on 2 separate occasions to find cows that had been tipped. Unfortunately, it's not as harmless as folks would imagine. Like you said, these animals weigh around 400kg and when they do go over on their side from a height of 5-6 feet, well... let's just say their ribs aren't designed to handle that kind of an impact. We had to put down the animal whenever this happened (if she wasn't dead by the time we found her.)

      While they may not sleep standing up, the certainly are at a little bit of a disadvantage when they're up against 5 or so drunken teenagers on a mission to tip a cow.

      I will attest to taking the "new kid" in our group of friends out to go cow tipping and abandoning him in a field, though. :)

      My dad also told me a story of how he and a friend in college decided it'd be a good idea to go cow tipping. They never found a standing, sleeping cow, but got firsthand experience of what it's like to run for your life while being pursued by a bull.

    • gordonzola says:

      I'm not saying it's happened, but in Northern California cows graze on hills. The math works differently here.

      But no, no one I ever knew did it. They talked about it though.

  10. mackys says:

    http://em-ntserver.unl.edu/Mechanics-Pages/Matt-Semke/The%20Statics%20of%20Cow%20Tipping.htm

    I think three people could tip a standing (non-sleeping) cow IF and only if the cow would just stand there and let them do it. Which I seriously doubt. Still, it is theoretically possible.

    • rapier1 says:

      On thing this page did not mention is that the legs of a cow are mobile. Hence, the cow can position their legs to resist tipping forces and make it significantly harder to upend the kine.

  11. belgand says:

    I've never seen a cow asleep and growing up in the suburbs have had very limited encounters with cows in general. Thinking about this as a scientist, however, there seems to be very credible evidence that cows cannot be tipped over. The opposition only is ever able to provide anecdotal evidence that cows have, in fact, been tipped. As such I'm inclined to find against cow tipping until hard evidence is produced.

    In a completely non-scientific note I'd expect that if cows were being tipped someone would have posted a video of it to YouTube by now. What jackass stunt isn't on there?

    • pozorvlak says:

      Having just spent fifteen minutes wading through the sludge of YouTube, I am forced to conclude that

      1) There are no cow tipping videos on YouTube.
      2) Hence, cow tipping is a myth.

      Boo :-(

  12. cameo says:

    This girl said she did it:
    http://chakalakahlakah.blogspot.com/2005/01/i-am-back-and-less-tired.html

    So did this guy.
    http://weblog.xanga.com/bricebanner/659041478/moo.html

    And these guys really did do it:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo1Th78Ob_s&feature=related

    Also, The Times did an article about Cow Tipping how (un)likely it is

    Margo Lillie, a doctor of zoology at the University of British Columbia, and her student Tracy Boechler have conducted a study on the physics of cow-tipping.

    Ms Boechler, now a trainee forensics analyst for the Royal Canadian Mounted Corps, concluded in her initial report that a cow standing with its legs straight would require five people to exert the required force to bowl it over.

    A cow of 1.45 metres in height pushed at an angle of 23.4 degrees relative to the ground would require 2,910 Newtons of force, equivalent to 4.43 people, she wrote.

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article586737.ece

    • masouds says:

      And these guys really did do it:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo1Th78Ob_s&feature=related

      The video you posted doesn't count. Those guys are trying to slaughter that cow according to Sharia (Islamic) laws, and that includes trying 2 or 3 legs of the cow, tipping it (or rather wrestling it to the ground) towards mecca, and using the knife after naming God so that the meat is halal (kosher). That is why you see all those spectators and setup.

  13. gwynjudd says:

    Cows are like cats, they always land on their feet. Ergo, you cannot tip them over.

  14. pinoles says:

    (+=.02)

    one house party we had in late '89 (on forbes near maggie mo fwiw) four people came thru (two of each gender), the significantly larger female of whom-all told me they had just come from cow tipping, but she couldn't sit coz she still had buckshot up her ass.

    twenty years (or so) later i can chalk this up to teenage BS, but she seemed pretty sincere, and it certainly made for a good source of conversation for the rest of the evening.

    (ps - i apologize to the english language for that post)

    • jesus_x says:

      Woot Pgh! To think Jamie left our fair city for the sunshine and warmth of California. 42 degrees and rainy ALL YEAR LONG! Yeah!

  15. cows are heavy. good fucking luck pushing one of those over.