Hole Head movies

These are the movies at this year's Hole in the Head that I saw and deemed good. (I'm going to just try and forget the ones that sucked instead of micro-reviewing them.) Some of these might still be playing. (There are also a few left in the festival that I haven't seen yet).

The Machine Girl

    Awesome. This is the movie that Planet Terror wished it was.

Brain Dead

    A lot of fun in the way that Evil Dead 2 and Night of the Creeps were fun.

Exte: Hair Extensions

    Killer hair extensions! Hairy tongues! Hair that bleeds!

Alone

    A formerly-conjoined twin is (maybe) haunted by her dead sister. The ending is a little predictable, but it was well done.

Atom Nine Adventures

    A fun 30s-scifi-serial style flick made with no money. Has the kind of campy earnestness that Raiders of the Lost Ark did.

The Gene Generation

    Ok I said I wasn't going to review the movies that sucked, but seriously, stay the hell away from this one. This was some serious bullshit. It wasn't even as good as Gunhed or Death Machine, which movies it desperately wanted to be. And yes, those movies sucked too. But this not only sucked but was also completely redundant.

I didn't review any of last year's Hole Head movies, so better late than never I guess. Here are the ones that I remember being worthwhile. There may have been more, but their web site has gone stale, so I can't look up the schedule to figure that out.

Murder Party

    A bunch of art-school douchebags decide to kill someone for an art project. Hijinks ensue. Hilarious if you enjoy seeing art school douchebags get gored.

Blood Car

    In the Peak Oil future, nerd figures out that his car runs on blood, gets babes. Pretty funny.

El Muerto

    This was, basically, The Crow in Mexico. But it was pretty good. Certainly better than any of the "real" Crow sequels.

The Man from Earth

    A bunch of people sit around and talk to their friend who claims to be thousands of years old. It's a lot more compelling than it sounds.
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dnalounge update

DNA Lounge update, wherein is presented your three point plan.
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These Balls Stop Cancer

DWP drops 400,000 balls onto Ivanhoe Reservoir
The agency started dumping thousands of floating plastic balls into Ivanhoe Reservoir -- the dwarf sibling next door to Silver Lake Reservoir, the neighborhood's crown jewel -- to protect the drinking water supply needed for summer.

The water needs to be shaded because when sunlight mixes with the bromide and chlorine in Ivanhoe's water, the carcinogen bromate forms, said Pankaj Parekh, DWP's director for water quality compliance. Bromide is naturally present in groundwater and chlorine is used to kill bacteria, he said, but sunlight is the final ingredient in the potentially harmful mix.

Resembling a stream of oversized caviar, the black balls rolled thunderously down the reservoir's slopes. "Water quality doesn't get more exciting than this," Marina J.F. Busatto, a DWP biologist, said smiling.

Ivanhoe and Elysian reservoirs will be blanketed by about 3 million balls each for about four years, Parekh said.

There's a video, but their embedded player is stupid. It seems to be not on Youtube yet.

Previously, etc. (Time for a "balls" tag?)

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"Then you and the chicken die like one."

Police find pipe bomb stuffed inside chicken
SIMSBURY, Conn. - Authorities in Connecticut are wondering who stuffed a raw roasting chicken with a pipe bomb and left it on a roadside.

Simsbury police Capt. Matthew Catania says a motorist noticed the chicken Friday morning. He says the bomb was large enough to harm a person if it went off.

The road was closed while the Hartford Police Department's bomb squad came and blew up the chicken.

Nobody was injured. No arrests had been made Monday night.

Previously.

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I, for one, welcome our new binge-drinking Spirit Dwarf overlords

Protests over pub's topless 'spirit dwarf'
A pub promotion involving a bare-chested and top-hatted dwarf walking the length of a bar pouring free booze down the throats of patrons has drawn protests from alcohol education campaigners.

The Jagermeister promotion has been on one night a week at The Saint in St Kilda, Melbourne, the Port Phillip Leader reports.

Jagermeister distanced itself from the promotion, which follows the Federal Government's campaign to clamp down on binge-drinking.

The Saint management declined to comment about whether the Wednesday party nights could contravene new laws preventing irresponsible consumption of alcohol.

Albert Park MP Martin Foley called it an "outrageous" and "offensive" example of the binge-drinking culture.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

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Hatebeak 2

American Cyborg:
The bird of prey was slowly starving to death after a poacher shot her upper beak off three years ago. But thanks to a team of volunteers an artificial beak has been attached to the 15-pound eagle helping her to grasp food.

Jane Fink Cantwell who found the bird scrounging for food and slowly starving at a landfill in Alaska said: "A bullet had to be removed from her curved upper beak, leaving her tongue and sinuses exposed, with a stump useless for grasping food. Eating with her beak was like using one chopstick. She also had trouble drinking and couldn't preen her feathers."

Despite the success of the operation, the bird will never be released back into the wild because she has spent too much time with humans and the final beak will not be strong enough to tear flesh from prey.

Previously.

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Daft Bodies

Apparently I'm late to the party on this one,
but this is pretty good:

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mixtape 034

Please enjoy jwz mixtape 034. Middle English controllen, from Anglo-Norman contreroller, from Medieval Latin contrarotulus "a counter, register," from Latin contra- "against" + rotulus, diminutive of rota "wheel". From a medieval method of checking accounts by a duplicate register.
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Current Music: as noted

Conan! What is breast in life?

Boobs Are Back In Age of Conan
Gamers around the world heaved a sigh of relief following an announcement by Funcom that boobs in the recently released MMOG Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures will be re-inflated to their original size.

Reports of the shrunken cans first surfaced immediately following the release of the game's most recent patch. The nerfed knockers inspired a rapid and venomous response on the Age of Conan forums, with some users going so far as to threaten to cancel their subscriptions. Kotaku has reported that one forum member known as Dusk posted "before and after" screenshots, vividly illustrating the difference between the splazoingas and the speedbumps.

In response to the sadly predictable furor over Funcom's funbag fiddling, the developer issued a statement confirming that in-game flapdoodles were in fact reduced in size, but said the change was the result of an error and promised that rack re-inflation to nerd-approved standards would take place in the near future.

"Funcom can confirm that some of the female models in the game have had the size of their breasts changed," the company said in a post on the official Age of Conan forums. "This is due to an unintended change in data that was introduced in an earlier patch, data which controls the so-called morph value associated with character models and the size of their respective body parts. We are working on a fix for this and your breasts should be back to normal soon."

Twenty-three pages of comments. Twenty-three.


Previously, previously, previously... oh, hell, I guess it's time for a "boobs" tag.

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