fess up.

Someone pooped in my elevator.

Was it you?


37 Responses:

  1. elevatordown says:

    At your service.

  2. lordshell says:

    Sounds like a title to a "They Might Be Giants" song.

  3. pvck says:

    related to pooping: I thought I'd let you know that the DNA has some damn fine bathrooms, you should really say more about them on the site, it could be an advertising angle. If I was going to poop anywhere related to you, it'd be there.

    • schoschie says:

      Hel-fucking-vetica: is that because you love Helvetica, or you hate it? Or both?

      • pvck says:

        It's meant to be in the sense of "hell-fucking-yeah!" In other words, expressing my love for the font whilst making it clear that I'm aware that it's silly.

  4. misterfister666 says:

    If it was me, I'd still be in there finishing up the crossword puzzle.

  5. jsbowden says:

    We can neither confirm nor deny out involvement at this time.

  6. intoner says:

    it was eric

  7. autodidactic says:

    The Sandbox
    by John S. Hall, King Missile

    And I would go
    And I would go everyday almost to the sandbox
    And 'cause I loved the sandbox so much
    And 'cause I had my pail and my shovel
    And and my shovel

    And I would play in the sandbox
    And it would be so fun
    And I would make mountains in the sand
    And I would have so much fun

    And and but one day I went to the sandbox
    And it was so sad
    And I cried and I cried because
    Someone took a doody in my sandbox
    Someone took a doody in my sandbox

    And that was so bad
    And that was so disgusting
    And how could they do that
    And and that was so bad

    And and and I didn't see it
    And and I sat right down in it
    And it felt squishy and I got up
    And I cried and I cried and I cried

    And why didn't they clean up after themselves
    Why didn't they clean up the mess

    And now my pants are dirty
    And I'm crying and I'm crying and I'm crying
    And I'm never going to the sandbox again
    I'm never going to the sandbox again
    And I hate everybody

    • hermeticseal says:

      hells yeah i love that song but had forgotten all about it! king missile is the greatest.

      ali g dealt with this problem once on his show. he exposed an evangelist preacher as a lighthouse-layin' no-flusher.


  8. capo_mojo says:

    Buncha savages in (that) town.

  9. felisdemens says:

    Did it smell like lilies after a fresh spring rain? Then it might have been me.

  10. buz says:

    Dude - If someone pooped in my "elevator" and I was so inclined to post to dar interwebz, I'd at least mark my entry "private".

    • phoenixredux says:

      Well, after 40 hours, I guess I'd poop in the elevator, too.

      I hope he was on the clock that whole time.

  11. blaisepascal says:

    That was your elevator?

  12. phreddiva says:

    It was that guy who befouled the corner of your bedroom that time.
    Who WAS that?

    Also, I'm voting that it was a dog.

    • strathmeyer says:

      Luckily poo is an excellent source of DNA.

      • cattycritic says:

        And an excellent source of poop is DNA, apparently. So at least there is symmetry.
        Oh I guess it was at your residence. Shit. Had to go and ruin a fine joke.

  13. tooluser says:

    Wasn't me; I post all my bowel movements to twitter.

  14. mc_kingfish says:

    Golden toilet?

    Oh no! My Tuba!!

  15. lilmissnever says:

    I'm guessing it was one of my upstairs neighbors. Clearly, they have moved into your building. Enjoy!

  16. elusis says:

    Well, I'm not missing any poop, so I'm gonna have to say "no."

  17. babasyzygy says:

    Where was RMS at the time?

  18. bifrosty2k says:


  19. loosechanj says:

    You're alive to complain about it, so it wasn't mine.

  20. misterfister666 says:

    Did anyone in your building get robbed? Sadly, the classic paper on thesubject, The Scatological Rites of Burglars, is not fully online. Mexicanthieves are somewhat notorious for taking a dump in the places they rob.Possibly relatedly, a search for "el caganer" is entertaining:

  21. cryptomail says:

    Did it have that human cable / curl?
    It could have been an oatmeal cream pie: