fess up.

14 years ago
Someone pooped in my elevator.

Was it you?

Tags:
Current Music: Portishead -- Plastic ♬

37 Responses:

  1. elevatordown says:
    14 years ago at 2:24 am

    At your service.
  2. lordshell says:
    14 years ago at 2:53 am

    Sounds like a title to a "They Might Be Giants" song.
  3. pvck says:
    14 years ago at 2:55 am

    related to pooping: I thought I'd let you know that the DNA has some damn fine bathrooms, you should really say more about them on the site, it could be an advertising angle. If I was going to poop anywhere related to you, it'd be there.
    • schoschie says:
      14 years ago at 3:23 am

      Hel-fucking-vetica: is that because you love Helvetica, or you hate it? Or both?
      • pvck says:
        14 years ago at 12:38 pm

        It's meant to be in the sense of "hell-fucking-yeah!" In other words, expressing my love for the font whilst making it clear that I'm aware that it's silly.
  4. misterfister666 says:
    14 years ago at 2:57 am

    If it was me, I'd still be in there finishing up the crossword puzzle.
  5. dreamyshade says:
    14 years ago at 3:11 am

    another tale of misplaced excrement. certified true.
  6. jsbowden says:
    14 years ago at 4:43 am

    We can neither confirm nor deny out involvement at this time.
  7. intoner says:
    14 years ago at 4:51 am

    it was eric
  8. autodidactic says:
    14 years ago at 5:37 am

    The Sandbox
    by John S. Hall, King Missile

    And I would go
    And I would go everyday almost to the sandbox
    And 'cause I loved the sandbox so much
    And 'cause I had my pail and my shovel
    And and my shovel

    And I would play in the sandbox
    And it would be so fun
    And I would make mountains in the sand
    And I would have so much fun

    And and but one day I went to the sandbox
    And it was so sad
    And I cried and I cried because
    Someone took a doody in my sandbox
    Someone took a doody in my sandbox

    And that was so bad
    And that was so disgusting
    And how could they do that
    And and that was so bad

    And and and I didn't see it
    And and I sat right down in it
    And it felt squishy and I got up
    And I cried and I cried and I cried

    And why didn't they clean up after themselves
    Why didn't they clean up the mess

    And now my pants are dirty
    And I'm crying and I'm crying and I'm crying
    And I'm never going to the sandbox again
    I'm never going to the sandbox again
    And I hate everybody
    • hermeticseal says:
      14 years ago at 10:31 am

      hells yeah i love that song but had forgotten all about it! king missile is the greatest.

      ali g dealt with this problem once on his show. he exposed an evangelist preacher as a lighthouse-layin' no-flusher.

      AND I HATE EVERYBODY!
  9. capo_mojo says:
    14 years ago at 6:13 am

    Buncha savages in (that) town.
  10. felisdemens says:
    14 years ago at 6:34 am

    Did it smell like lilies after a fresh spring rain? Then it might have been me.
  11. buz says:
    14 years ago at 6:41 am

    Dude - If someone pooped in my "elevator" and I was so inclined to post to dar interwebz, I'd at least mark my entry "private".
    • phoenixredux says:
      14 years ago at 8:46 am

      Well, after 40 hours, I guess I'd poop in the elevator, too.

      I hope he was on the clock that whole time.
  12. blaisepascal says:
    14 years ago at 7:33 am

    That was your elevator?
  13. phreddiva says:
    14 years ago at 8:11 am

    It was that guy who befouled the corner of your bedroom that time.
    Who WAS that?

    Also, I'm voting that it was a dog.
    • strathmeyer says:
      14 years ago at 8:29 am

      Luckily poo is an excellent source of DNA.
      • cattycritic says:
        14 years ago at 2:18 pm

        And an excellent source of poop is DNA, apparently. So at least there is symmetry.
        .
        .
        .
        .
        Oh I guess it was at your residence. Shit. Had to go and ruin a fine joke.
  14. tooluser says:
    14 years ago at 8:32 am

    Wasn't me; I post all my bowel movements to twitter.
  15. mc_kingfish says:
    14 years ago at 8:44 am

    Golden toilet?

    Oh no! My Tuba!!
  16. lilmissnever says:
    14 years ago at 9:52 am

    I'm guessing it was one of my upstairs neighbors. Clearly, they have moved into your building. Enjoy!
  17. elusis says:
    14 years ago at 10:57 am

    Well, I'm not missing any poop, so I'm gonna have to say "no."
  18. babasyzygy says:
    14 years ago at 10:57 am

    Where was RMS at the time?
  19. bifrosty2k says:
    14 years ago at 11:26 am

    eew.
  20. loosechanj says:
    14 years ago at 1:36 pm

    You're alive to complain about it, so it wasn't mine.
  21. misterfister666 says:
    14 years ago at 3:12 pm

    Did anyone in your building get robbed? Sadly, the classic paper on thesubject, The Scatological Rites of Burglars, is not fully online. Mexicanthieves are somewhat notorious for taking a dump in the places they rob.Possibly relatedly, a search for "el caganer" is entertaining:
  22. cryptomail says:
    14 years ago at 11:41 pm

    Did it have that human cable / curl?
    It could have been an oatmeal cream pie:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvc34BN-0C8