Conan! What is breast in life?

Boobs Are Back In Age of Conan
Gamers around the world heaved a sigh of relief following an announcement by Funcom that boobs in the recently released MMOG Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures will be re-inflated to their original size.

Reports of the shrunken cans first surfaced immediately following the release of the game's most recent patch. The nerfed knockers inspired a rapid and venomous response on the Age of Conan forums, with some users going so far as to threaten to cancel their subscriptions. Kotaku has reported that one forum member known as Dusk posted "before and after" screenshots, vividly illustrating the difference between the splazoingas and the speedbumps.

In response to the sadly predictable furor over Funcom's funbag fiddling, the developer issued a statement confirming that in-game flapdoodles were in fact reduced in size, but said the change was the result of an error and promised that rack re-inflation to nerd-approved standards would take place in the near future.

"Funcom can confirm that some of the female models in the game have had the size of their breasts changed," the company said in a post on the official Age of Conan forums. "This is due to an unintended change in data that was introduced in an earlier patch, data which controls the so-called morph value associated with character models and the size of their respective body parts. We are working on a fix for this and your breasts should be back to normal soon."

Twenty-three pages of comments. Twenty-three.

Previously, previously, previously... oh, hell, I guess it's time for a "boobs" tag.

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19 Responses:

  1. mhoye says:

    Way to stay in-character, internets.

  2. strspn says:

    need A/B pics

  3. jonquil says:

    Applause for your subject line.

  4. skington says:

    "if you go and try to make a female character now the bosom slider does nothing" is both reassuring - someone has noticed, and can accurately reproduce, the problem - and worrying - there's a bosom slider in character creation. How far does that thing go? How long before we get the Power Girl expansion ("these boobs go up to 11")?

    • xenogram says:

      I expect there is no option to remove one to make archery easier.

    • lanikei says:

      there is one of those in CoH as well. it goes... pretty ridiculous.

      • taffer says:

        I've always wondered what that does on male and huge (why is there no huge female?) characters; with female ones, I always crank it back to "reasonable".

        Characters with the chest cranked out to max are usually a good indication of a lonely, lonely guy who lives in his mother's basement.

        • jwz says:

          You're playing Dungeons and Dragons online, and in that context you think there's something about character design that says "lonely guy in mom's basement"?

        • lanikei says:

          i'm not sure there is that slider for male/huge. unless maybe it does the pecs and chest breadth/width?

          my more kitschy characters tend to have some disproportionate boobies, but for the most part i would say mine are physically feasible.

          there's a certain amount of sense to the cartoonishly large tits - it is a pretty standard comic book trope, and for that matter a pretty standard fantasy trope. and it's no fun if you can't imitate the stuff that the game is based around anyway. :-)

          • pentane says:

            I seem to remember it not being a "slider"...

            Ok, there's three dimensions. Anyway, the dimension that causes boob inflation does, in fact, make the male chest wider.

  5. dr_memory says:

    To click on your enemies und zee the lactations of zeir vimen!

  6. romulusnr says:

    NPCs I can see, but don't fuck with a man's avatar. Size anxiety is bad enough with a male avatar.

  7. inoah says:

    Did you ever see Mattel's "Grow Up Skipper" doll from the 70s? Twist her arms and her breasts grew. You can still find these for sale on ebay from time to time. (And Jamie, I thought you would particularly appreciate this one with the head missing for extra preversion points.)

    Here's a small video of some red hot mechanical boob enlargement akshun: href=""> up Skipper.avi

    • cattycritic says:

      Yep, I had a friend with one of those. We all thought it was cool. Of course, we also used to take mom's old L'egg's eggs and put them under our shirts and walk prance around the house. Our mom thought it was hysterical.

      "There's nothing like a breast the size of your head to soothe your troubles" -- baby Cerebus the Aardvark