...and very nearly clawed out my eyes and ears before it was over. I tried to describe it to structurefall, and he had an interesting theory: he said, "They had to be trying to make Springtime for Hitler, right?" This makes a lot of sense: it has a gamut of elements you'd want in your movie if you were trying to make the most despicable movie of all time:
- Horrific uncanny-valley CGI;
- Yappy dogs;
- Even worse, a thousand clones of Scrappy Doo;
- Musical numbers;
- A parody of a "novelty" song decades past its sell-by date, in this case, The Macarena;
- Cheech Marin.
Perhaps there's a Manchurian Candidate trying to bring Disney down from the inside. They intend to make a fortune by shorting the stock once this movie is released.
In keeping with Springtime for Hitler, this plan will, of course, backfire. By this time next year, all of the Jack Sparrows in the Pirates ride and all of the... uh... Eddie Murphys in the Haunted Mansion ride will have been replaced by monsterous smirking rat-dogs.
Just you wait.
