I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit.

Just for laughs, I took a look at the schedule for the "Web Two Dot Oh Expo" that's invading my fair city next week. Oh, the Humanity.

  • "Intro to Blogs & Social Media Marketing 101."
  • "What's your enterprise mashup strategy?"
  • "Strategic Domain Name Selection for Increasing Traffic and Conversion Rates."
    -- I think they mean "typo-squatting".
  • "How to take your search engine optimization skillset to the next level, even if you're already a savvy search marketer."
    -- I'm 99.9% certain this is code for "how to MAKE.MONEY.FAST with a fake spam-blog."
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24 Responses:

  1. I think these guys did it better.

  2. heresiarch says:

    i went to a panel on virtual worlds at school last week, not realizing it was hosted by a local business group... it was surreal enough sitting among a crowd of suits looking at a screen projection of someone's second-life avatar, and then someone mentioned "enterprise 2.0."

    oh well, i guess it was a good reminder why i'm not actually working for those folks :/.

  3. Jesus. In a pile of crap somewhere I've got a copy of Canter and Siegel's
    "How to Make a Fortune on the Information Superhighway." Which is packed
    with valuable advice in chapters like "Gopher the Gold!" and "FTP: Selling to
    the Whole Information Highway."

    In what way is this new crap "2.0"?

    • jwz says:

      That was actually marginally entertaining last year, since it was about 60% people talking about things that they had actually created. Kind of a novelty.

    • flipzagging says:

      Ugh. For about 80% of those talk titles, I want to say "die in a fire."

      More's the pity as I was at the last Ignite which jwz refers to and it was pretty good.

  4. troworld says:

    My mashup strategy is to add lots of milk to the potatoes. I don't know if it's enterprisey enough, though.

    • prog says:

      You can sing the Star Trek theme while you're doin it. I'm talking the "aaaah-aaaaah!" vocal parts from the original series. Nuthin else makes sense with potatoes!!

    • cdavies says:

      That's soooo yesterday. Mashup 2.0 involves mixing your root vegetables like sweet potato and swede. Also, sprinkling the magic paprika fairy dust on your mashup application makes it the new hotness.

  5. substitute says:

    "SEO" is the best "internet business" scam yet. It has all the virtues of a great fraud technique: it does nothing, the mark can be convinced it has done something, and any doubts can be turned into a sale of additional services. Best of all, it never ends: all their diagrams show an endless whirling mandala of shit reading "Killer website->SEO/SEM->Determine ROI->Adjust as necessary."

    • wisn says:

      Actually, it's worse, because SEOs have developed various tricks which work. They just don't work in any useful way, because the relationship between the seeded words and what your website sells won't necessarily have anything in common. Or, if they do, they're not necessarily terms people in your market would use in search.

      And in the meanwhile, your competitors' SEOs have seeded their site with the same keywords, your page rank goes down, so you have to re-up your monthly SEO contract for a new round of keyword seeding. And back and forth it goes.

      SEO has measurable effect. That's not the same as measurable usefulness.

  6. muftak says:

    "What's your enterprise mashup strategy?"

    I'd have thought that taking drugs at work was frowned upon in most companies.

  7. quercus says:

    We stole their media, now they're stealing it back.


  8. fu3dotorg says:

    There should be an o'rly? convention set up, with a mission to debunk every and all conceived 'glories' of the wWw.

    A by-risk is that the premises gets filled with orthodontists and oral-fetishists, but life's a gamble like that..

  9. travisd says:

    That's OK. At our company merger "day 1" thing this week, they told us that we're a Web3.0 company.

  10. criollo says:

    I vote you put fart powder in all the drinks.

    also, hilarity.

  11. rofl "enterprise mashup strategy." "enterprise" and "mashup" should never be allowed that close together.