I, for one, welcome our new laparoscopic tentacle robot overlords.

As soon as possible, I'm going to have my pineal proboscis replaced with one of these:

Known as the CardioArm, the curved robot has a series of joints that automatically adjust to follow the course plotted by the robot's head. This provides greater precision than a flexible endoscope can offer. "It's certainly easier to control," says Robert Webster III, a professor at Vanderbilt University who works on flexible medical probes and was not involved in the CardioArm project.

The CardioArm is operated using a computer and a joystick. It has 102 degrees of freedom, three of which can be activated at once. This allows it to enter through a single point in the chest and wrap around the heart until it reaches the right spot to, say, remove problematic tissue. "The nice thing about [the] design is that each joint follows where you went in space.

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12 Responses:

  1. rivetpepsquad says:

    I want to have one of those knitted into my coccyx!

  2. tjcrowley says:

    Shades of Dr. Octopus.

  3. ctakahara says:

    I don't think I'd be nearly as freaked out by this if the head didn't look like a leering golden-faced red-eyed rat.

  4. ghosthacked says:

    we want about 8 of these, then I can be Dr. Octagon!

  5. beschizza says:

    Some video of these robots from earlier today.

  6. 0ccam says:

    Couldn't they have maybe made it stainless steel or chrome instead of mealworm brown?

  7. moof says:

    I'd always wondered why you had so many exposed steel pipes around the DNA lounge; now I know: they're pineal resonators that cause women to wear skimpy BDSM-esque outfits.

  8. lordshell says:

    It's just another way to do live-action tentacle porn.