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105 Responses:

  1. zonereyrie says:

    Aww, RMS doesn't need the lovin'?

    • zarex says:

      Agreed. RMS needs lovin' too.

      I just don't want to hear about it.

      • vanbeast says:

        I just don't want to hear about it.

        or think about it, or be around anyone who is hearing about it, or be around anyone who is thinking about it, or... you get the idea.

      • alana_ash says:

        Unfortunately as soon as RMS gets some lovin, he's required to shared the details. Check the license.

    • dr_memory says:

      He dated Doctress Neutopia for a while. I wish to god I could expunge that knowledge and the inevitable images from my brain. (But I can't, so I share and enjoy!)

    • quercus says:

      I have _smelled_ RMS.

      Whilst he was behind me and I couldn't even see him yet.

      • zonereyrie says:

        I have as well - some years ago at Arisia (Boston SciFi con) he walked up to me and put a pair of headphones on me without warning. He had some portable player, CD player in those days I'd guess, with a headphone splitter. He was going up to people and having them listen to some music he was into. I barely remember it, it was mellow, kind of sitar-y.

        I later ran into him in a hallway having a heated discussion on 'Open Source' vs. 'Free Software' with a bunch of other guys.

      • lionsphil says:

        How long before you were capable of smelling anything else?

  2. perligata says:

    ...he's bred?

    Three phrases I never want RMS to utter around me: "loved tenderly", "tolerant warmth", and "sweetheart".

    • inhumandecency says:

      But, see, I figure that's a good thing. By stating that he intends to utter those phrases if you date him, you can make sure you never do. Wouldn't it be worse to respond to a more discreet posting, and then find out you were on a date with RMS? And conversely, the woman who is RMS's destined partner is saved having to reply to a lot of men who will turn out not to show tolerant warmth or paternal devotion to Free Software.

  3. dojothemouse says:

    We should all chip in to get him a gift certificate at Glamour Shots or something.

  4. loftwyr says:

    I can't see why you wouldn't want RMS to have the love and respect of a good open source woman.

    • fu3dotorg says:

      The offspring would be disastrous, that's why.

    • chuck_lw says:

      >I can't see why you wouldn't want RMS to have the love and respect of a good open source woman.

      You mean an open source femmebot?

      Actually, that's not a bad idea. If somebody wants me to buy one of those things, I'll need access to her source code. Otherwise, no deal.

    • duskwuff says:

      "Open source woman"? Around here, we tend to call that "being a slut".

    • lafinjack says:

      Haha, I love it when people steal my icons. Seriously.You have no idea how stupidly-long that one took me to make, and how much boredom it saved me from in Iraq.I noticed a couple you don't have if you like, linked hence:

      • loftwyr says:

        Theyr'e not stolen! You told me last time you saw my (pathetic attempts at) icons to take them!

        They're great and I'd love to know what you used to create them as I can't make mine clear enough to use.

        • fu3dotorg says:

          Yeah, those icons are indeed pretty great.

          The only problem is that when you see them in animation such as this, you wonder what triple-digit-megabyte plugin just installed itself covertly on your system, in order to make them play.

        • lafinjack says:

          Fine, fine, credited and stolen!

          I use Imageready, the gif-making part of Photoshop.

      • spendocrat says:

        I don't know about you, but I hate it when people "steal" the icons I make from copyrighted material.

        I also hate irony.

        • lafinjack says:

          I'm not really sure what point you're trying to make here, as my Sarcas-O-Meter (with optional Iron-O-Graph) is busted, but I'll essplain my stance for you.

          I like making icons. It's fun. It's nice when people say "hey, that's a neat/funny icon". It's cool when they like it enough to want to use it themselves. It's cool when they credit me for the composition (not creation).

          It's also cool when they don't. I really don't care, and as you mentioned it's copyrighted to someone that isn't me, hence why I always use the verb "steal" with icons. I tell people to steal my icons all the time, because icons are for sharing and general joyness. It also doesn't bother me when I see one of my icons credited to someone else - I've only noticed it once, and the person was happy to find the right person, and then steal more icons.

          I notice you haven't credited that icon to the Conversatron. Shame on you.

          • spendocrat says:

            The verb "steal" is inappropriate in general in this situation, but that's a grammar/semantics/"understanding how English works" kind of thing. I already know that battle is lost (along with the fight against such gems like "Where is the movie theater at?") with respect to the general public, but it's a hobby horse I like to ride from time to time.

            *ahem* Anyways... .

            It's stupid that icon creaters give a damn about getting credit when the whole of this kind of fandom (icon makers, fanfic writers) relies completely on parasitic copyright infringement. It's hypocritical. Where is the "original material coutesy of Such and Such Production company" credit in your icon description?

            I in fact do credit the Conversatron for my icon (publicly, even!), I just haven't happened to do it in the way that you find acceptable. Boo hoo.

            • lafinjack says:

              I use the verb 'steal' exactly because it's inappropriate. I stole the original artwork, because I think it's neat, and it's almost always very clear who the original maker was or what it came from. If someone asks, I link them. I never claim it as my own, and this is also why I never ask for credit. If people don't want to credit me, I don't care. I have this stance on icons to try and counteract the way people get rabidly stupid about icons. They're supposed to be fun to mess with, and these people are sucking the joy out of it.

              And it's funny you mention I don't credit the original makers on my icons page, but then say you credit your icons - just not on the icons page.


              • spendocrat says:

                Yes, you don't care so much that you came into someone else's journal and mentioned how you don't care. Good work there.

                Why you're making a stink about this when you "don't care" is unfathomable. I making a stink about hypocrisy, which you seem to have in spades, and which the whole icon-credit-whining community does as well (and which makes me a jerk arguing about nothing actually important, but that's fine). I mention that you don't credit the original authors and writers because every time you say you "don't care" about credit I don't believe you. It seems that you care just as much as the next fanfic-writing, icon-making asshole -- most of whom make a huge deal about "icon stealing" with a completely straight face.

                jwz will come and yell at us now, so you're free to come reiterate how you "don't actually care, seriously" in my journal.

  5. gwillen says:


      • fu3dotorg says:

        someone else could still've craigslisted it on his behalf, though.. - that page alone doesn't prove consent, or whatever, to craig-l it..

        • fu3dotorg says:

          ..besides if he'd C.L.'ed it, he would use his bitchen "Saint GNUcleus" picture, or in any case a less normal one.

          Even that picture is too removed from the GNU/Aesthetics guidelines.

      • gwillen says:


        Do you think he was the one who posted it to Craigslist? That was one thing that struck me as odd, although I suppose it's not that odd.

        • pozorvlak says:

          Nah, I reckon someone else posted it for him. I'm surprised it made "best of", though...

        • jwz says:

          I'm pretty sure CL is about fifteen years too newfangled for RMS to use. If I remember correctly, as late as 1999, he was still saying "I do not use the world wide web". [citation needed]

          • netik says:

            I don't want to tell you what the MIT janitors told me about the large amounts of um. Female items and condoms they found in his office in the early 90's.

            He might have been ugly, but he was certainly getting around the sci-fi conventions in Boston.

            • jwz says:

              Yes, I have heard this story from Independent Reliable Sources.

            • perligata says:


              But also, this reminds me of something:

              One of my friends knew this guy through school who'd been homeless once upon a time. Whenever he was at a party and he'd mention this to people, they'd inevitably react with shock and pity -- "oh, how terrible, what was it like?!" etc. His response was apparently something along the lines of: "It was great -- I got so much pussy!"

              Apparently homeless people are fucking all the time.

            • ladykalessia says:

              I think that has more to do with the types of women who get around sci-fi cons than anything else.

            • giles says:

              Female items?

              Like donuts? Or, you know. Cables with both ends the same?

            • kencf0618 says:

              In the dark, all open source is grey.

            • pphaneuf says:

              My life was going so well.

          • havardk says:

            If I remember correctly, as late as 1999, he was still saying "I do not use the world wide web".


            • fu3dotorg says:

              that circumstanding msgthread was golden, btw.

            • webmaven says:

              As I recall from a previous public statement he made, his personal reasons are that this is a form of atonement for an instance in which he compromised on his Free Software ideals.

              • fu3dotorg says:

                Yeah; think of the disaster it would prove to be, "if" someone were on the same ipv4 ip-block as him, using any electronic equipment with values greater than an empty beer bottle..

                - Which is, what I gather, a greater sum of his forthtrodding philosophy.

          • spendocrat says:

            As recently as last month he was on the OpenBSD mailing lists claiming he does not use the web.

          • kehoea says:

            I opened this thread in a separate tab and came back to it later, and as a result read "CL" as Common Lisp. Which works, actually; 1994 - 15 gives 1979.

  6. elfs says:

    Oh, I dunno. Seems perfectly in-line with RMS.

  7. pozorvlak says:

    I remember reading about the development of Hurd a while ago, and coming across the following gem:

    The GNU kernel was not originally supposed to be called the HURD. Its;s original name was Alix-named after the women who was my sweetheart at that time. She, a Unix system administrator, had pointed out how her name would fit a common naming pattern for Unix system version; as a joke, she told ger friends, "Someone should name a kernel after me." I said nothing, but decided to surprise her with a kernel named Alix.

    It did not stay that way. Micheal Bushnell (now Thomas), the main developer of the kernel, preferred the name HURD, and redefined Alix to refer to a certain part of the kernel-the part that would trap system calls and handle them by sending messages to HURD servers.

    Ultimately, Alix and I broke up, and she changed her name; idependently, the HURD design was changes so that the C library would send messages directly to the servers, and this made the Alix component disapper from the design.

    But before these things happened, a friend of hers came across the name Alix in the HURD source code, and mentioned the name to her. So the name did its job.

    Wow. Not only did she break up with him, she changed her name - so he couldn't find her, perhaps?

  8. substitute says:

    RMS craigslist ad versus ESR sex tips: FIGHT

  9. nightrider says:

    ...rms needs love, too.

    He just wants you to poke his belly so he can giggle like the pillsbury dough boy.

    oh, and rms, if you're reading this, plz U n0 h4x m3, kthxbai.

  10. cattycritic says:

    If RMS gets lovin' then he'll lose his 5uP0r h4X0r p0w3rz.

    OTOH she might help him with his fear of food that grows in the ground.

    I'm not sure whether these are good or bad things.

    • fu3dotorg says:

      Well, eating your carefully (and graphically) extracted dental-floss for the full length of a [zoomed in] open source video-interview will only nourish you for so long, so I'd had re-aquainted myself with whatever's underground, spare corpses, any day, if I was along the same phobic paths, (but; hey..)

  11. gordonzola says:

    heh. this whole post is way over my head. I thought you were just being mean and making fun of some hippie-looking dude, but obviously it's way beyond that.

      • fu3dotorg says:

        to all who are in equal wonderment as ESR/RS displayed in the comic strip; "going outdoors is perfectly safe; other models are in fact in stock(!)"

        (alternate garments are viable too(!) despite displayed specimen)

      • gordonzola says:

        you were just looking for an excuse to post that!

    • bluknight says:

      Obviously you aren't here for the Geek Cred.

      • gordonzola says:

        no, I'm here for the Monkey Butter.

        • ammonoid says:

          Monkey cheese?

          Tell us, is it possible?

          • gordonzola says:

            well, according to my Handbook of Milk of Non-Bovine Animals monkey milk has very low protein (2.1% vs. 3.1%-3.9% for cow, depending on breed) and is relatively low in fat. Since butter is basically the joy that comes with the union of fat and protein it wouldn't come easy. Through culturing or the reintroduction of already seperated fat and protein. I'm sure it's possible. But one may have to work on it in a lab, not a churn, to get the right combination.

            It does still have double the protein that human milk does.

        • bluknight says:

          Congratulations. You just got me to spew my morning coffee this morning. Thankfully, I missed the monitor.

        • rivetpepsquad says:

          Pretty much.

      • flipping_hades says:

        jesus, he looks more and more like a gopher every year.

        • fu3dotorg says:

          ..he's evolving in parallel with the GNU/kernel; (not as in Linux..)

          • bluknight says:

            Stallman: proof that sometimes, even evolution fails.

            Wait a tic... He's saying he doesn't want kids because the FREE SOFTWARE MOVEMENT takes too much time? Maybe evolution hasn't failed after all.

    • wormwood_pearl says:

      He's this guy. For some more backstory, this and this may help.

      • gordonzola says:

        thanks. that is so much more than I ever needed to know. ;)

        • pozorvlak says:

          Short version: he founded the Free Software Foundation, wrote a bunch of free software (he hates the term "open-source"), and he and Jamie have History. No, not that kind of history, the bad kind. The last two links go into excruciating detail on where and what exactly went wrong between them.

  12. buz says:

    ...My 23-year-old child, the Free Software Movement, occupies most of my life, leaving no room for more children...

    d00d - he named his kid the Free Software Movement! How cool is THAT?!

  13. xrayspx says:

    I look a lot like Stallman. To the point of people putting recaptioned RMS articles on my cube. To the point that my wife just saw your post, laughed in my face, and went to bed. But at least, at LEAST, I don't literally sing the praises of Free Software (your own mp3 right back atcha).

    The negative side is, he's 21 years older than me, yet I seem to have way more grey hair.

    • fu3dotorg says:

      The difference is that we're just having an abstract ball, while your wife seems to be serious.. ;)

  14. mister_borogove says:

    The weird thing is that if he shaved and used a little conditioner, he'd look kinda like PC game industry laughingstock and former chick magnet John Romero. Okay, like Romero's uncle maybe.

    • fu3dotorg says:

      umhh, how many hours did you sit drooling through RMS pictures to reach that conclusion? - musta took awhile.

      • lafinjack says:

        John Romero's about to make you his bitch.

      • mister_borogove says:

        Hey, I might cop to sitting drooling through Romero's pictures, but not RMS'.

        • fu3dotorg says:


          • jwz says:

            Ok, look, 22 comments in a day and a half, many of which are worthless one-liners like


            is how you say "please beat me with the stick of bannination." Have something to say -- and also, become less incomprehensible about it -- or I'll plonk you.

            (Do not reply to this.)

  15. veevi says:

    ohmigawd. That made me choke.

    Somewhere around here I have the "pleasure card" he gave me ten years ago (he said he didn't have a "business card", and then kissed my hand. Eep!) Classy, no? Especially since he appeared to be hitting on me while I was being introduced to him by my then fiance, who was a former employee of his.

    I hear he has girlgeek groupies, though.

    • adaptively says:

      ESR embarrassingly pointed me out as the only female at his lecture once. Then he hit on me in front of my boyfriend. (I was 16 and totally wanted to cry.)

      Does every woman in tech have a horror story about one of these guys?!

  16. zoratu says:

    he didn't mention "flying into fits of near-homicidal rage at smallest whim being obstructed" as one of his most salient characteristics.

    • fu3dotorg says:

      The mere mention of that attribute would've doubtlessly proven obstructive to him, so, it was probably omitted so as not to trigger an infinite loop.

  17. stu_hacking says:

    You can share your feelings of love with him, but ultimately he gets the final say over whether they're accepted and integrated into the relationship.

    "we can share bouts of intense, passionately kind awareness of each other..."

    This image is strangely horrifying.