Dead Reverend's Rubber Fetish

That's Reverend Gimp to you:
Aldridge served as the church's pastor for 16 years. Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to "please refrain from speculation" about what led to Aldridge's demise, adding that, "we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ."
The decedent is clothed in a diving wet suit, a face mask which has a single vent for breathing, a rubberized head mask having an opening for the mouth and eyes, a second rubberized suit with suspenders, rubberized male underwear, hands and feet have diving gloves and slippers. There are numerous straps and cords restraining the decedent. There is a leather belt around the midriff. There is a series of ligatures extending from the hands to the feet. The hands are bound behind the back. The feet are tied to the hands. There are nylon ligatures holding these in place with leather straps about the wrists and ankles. There are plastic cords also tied about the hands and feet with a single plastic cord extending up to the head and surrounding the lower neck. There is a dildo in the anus covered with a condom.
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32 Responses:

  1. chuck_lw says:

    Obviously he was murdered by Sat Gayanists ... I mean gay Satanists.

    Or was it gastronomic Stalinists?

    I can't get my cover story straight.

  2. eqe says:

    Personal Effects: One yellow metal ring intact on left finger, one dildo.

    I suppose there's a de facto contest to see who has the best Personal Effects entry on their autopsy report.

  3. boldra says:

    Strange story (reminds me of Britisch tv comedy The League of Gentlemen), but the choice of music was what really made me laugh. Nice one!

  4. pygmalion says:

    Maybe I am just ignorant to the intricacies of Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation, but exactly how does one hog tie ones self? That sounds quite difficult, and extensive, and hard to get out of... Well, I guess it was hard to get out of, apparently...

    • jwz says:

      I was wondering that too.

      It sounds to me like that way you can commit suicide by falling backwards on a knife... 35 times.

    • strspn says: has it wrong, the autopsy says nothing about "autoerotic" anything. It says "accidental mechanical asphyxiation" but there's no sign of respiratory blockage or any other reason for aspyxia. So, he died when his, er, brethren wasn't paying close enough attention to their play, and then un-gagged him before leaving the reverend to rot.

      • ammutbite says:

        accidental mechanical asphyxiation may or may not be auto-erotic...
        this book has more than info anyone ever needs to know about "death by misadventure", including documented reports of the guys killed during erotic experiences with a VW Bug and a John Deere tractor).

      • ladykalessia says:

        It sounds actually like his head-sling slipped and caught him across the neck.

        • strspn says:

          "The neck is unremarkable." I'm no expert, but I don't think one could strangle without cartilage damage.

          • ladykalessia says:

            Just finished reading the rest of the report - you're right. There's also no indication of suspension, but its hard to know with the description of the bonds made by someone who's most likely unfamiliar with them.

          • einzige says:

            Not true. Correctly applied pressure to the carotid arteries can cause unconsciousness in less than 15 seconds and not even leave a bruise afterwards.

            I know this because I practice Jiu-Jitsu, which involves a lot of techniques for easily choking your opponent unconscious.

            You get quite good at knowing when you're about to go out--and you tap out prior to that, unless you're stupid. Apparently our decedent wasn't quite as practiced in knowing the signs.

            • jwz says:

              That's something that always bugs me in movies: when you cut off the blood to the brain, how long does death take? I'd assume 5-10 minutes, but in movies, it's 20 seconds. Even if they're not choking, but using a pillow. Stupid movies.

              • einzige says:

                I think anything after 4-5 minutes and we're talking persistent vegetative state, at a minimum.

                You're right, though - movie portrayals of strangulations are absurd.

                • ilcylic says:

                  No, that's asphyxiation due to a lack of air. The bloodstream holds enough oxygen in it that as long as it continues to circulate, brain damage can be avoided for several minutes.

                  When the flow of blood is blocked, the brain only has the oxygen present in the blood in the brain at that moment, which very quickly runs out. Permanent brain damage from (completely) restricting the bloodflow to the brain can start within 10 seconds. Partial restrictions, such as those practiced in martial arts, are less immediately destructive, but still very dangerous. Which is why it's important to practice such things with all due caution.

    • phil_g says:

      According to a random page on the Internet, you can hogtie yourself if you're really dedicated.

  5. korgmeister says:

    I reckon you missed a trick by not having 'Stripper Vicar' by Mansun as the music for this entry.

  6. carbonunit says:

    The ball gag connected to the... hand cuffs,
    The hand cuffs connected to the... cock ring,
    The cock ring connected to the... butt plug,
    Now hear the word of the Lord!

  7. mc_kingfish says:

    Well there goes my suicide note!

  8. mouseworks says:

    I wonder if Jesus, with his strong arm, was his play partner.

  9. gryazi says:

    You get me closer to God.

  10. ultranurd says:

    I feel very sorry for the pastor who has to take over that congregation.

  11. ultranurd says:

    Also, on Page 4: "The prostate gland displays areas of focal hemorrhage on its posterior surface."

    Guess he had fun.

  12. jabber says:

    What, no pictures?

  13. ladykalessia says:

    Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?

    A: He forgot his safeword.

  14. buz says:

    Page 4 of 5

    Personal Effects: One yellow metal ring intact on left ring finger, one dildo.

    "We have to use the indefinite article "a" dildo, never "your" dildo."

  15. kdarr says:

    I'm glad to see that he used a condom on the dildo.

    Safety first, people...