sa-update on OSX

Dear Lazyweb, how do I run "sa-update" on OSX?

I have SpamAssassin installed via "port install p5-mail-spamassassin". The only SA files appear to be in /opt/local/share/spamassassin/*.cf. The man page for sa-update says there should be a directory /opt/local/var/spamassassin/3.002000/ but nothing like that exists. How does this stuff work?

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go faster

Dear Lazyweb, my iMac is 17 months old now. I'm ready for it to be twice as fast. The new iMacs appear to be only 40% faster. What happened to this "Moore's Law" I've heard so much about?

Also, still only 4GB RAM? WTF, am I the only person who wants to be able to run Photoshop and Safari at the same time?

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DNA Lounge: Wherein you bring your mom.

Photos! So many photos... So tired of editing photos...

Also! This Wednesday is DNA Conception Day: it will have been exactly 21 years and 9 months since DNA Lounge first opened on November 22, 1985. That means that Wednesday will be the first day on which someone can legally attend DNA Lounge who was conceived in DNA Lounge.

If you can prove that that is you, you get in free. No, I don't know how you'd prove that. Maybe bring your mom and have her tell a convincing story.


"Ice-cream-eating motherfucker, that's what you are."

More Talk, Less Rock: 15 Masters Of Onstage Banter

3. Paul Stanley
A CD-length file of Paul Stanley's onstage yelling made the Internet rounds starting in 2005, and the Kiss guitarist's effeminate, positive-power ("You people are dynamite!") insanity made him sound like a hyperactive motivational speaker. The 86-megabyte file sounds pristine, too; if Steve Albini ever recorded between-song banter, it would sound like this. Named People, Let Me Get This Off My Chest, the 70-track collection features every rock 'n' roll cliché known to man. Stanley screams dedications to "young" women ("We got any little girls out there tonight?"), temperature (via the endless ways that "Hotter Than Hell" and "Firehouse" can be introduced), and booze (simply "ALLCOOOHAAALL!!!!"). Also: "How many of you gals out there like to get licked?! Okay, how many of you guys out there like to get licked?" And that's just the first 10 minutes.

9. Fugazi

"I saw you two guys earlier at the Good Humor truck, and you were eating your ice cream like little boys, and I thought, 'Those guys aren't so tough! They're eating ice cream.' I saw you eating an ice-cream cone, pal... You're bad now, but I saw you... That's the shit you can't hide. You eat ice cream; everybody knows it. Ice-cream-eating motherfucker, that's what you are."
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PSA - mail bounces

My mail server was being wonky over the last few weeks, and was bouncing mail every now and then (depending on which server it happened to route through.) So if you wrote me recently and I didn't write back, please resend.
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aren't you a little... um, something

Previously, previously, previously.

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today's tip

Previously, previously. Also.

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DNA Lounge: Wherein I strongly advise you to come to Incredibly Strange Wrestling.

Now listen up: you need to come see Incredibly Strange Wrestling this Sunday. It's their first show since 2004, and it's always incredible. Lucha Libre wrestling interspersed with punk bands. And the audience throwing corn tortillas continuously.

Please to be checking out the photo galleries: "El Presidente", "The Snackmaster's Booty Call", and "The Immaculate Conception".

It tends to sell out, so it would behoove you to buy advance tickets.

Actually, we've got quite a few live shows coming up in the next few weeks:

Sat, Aug 11   Bootie's 4 Year Anniversary
Tue, Aug 14 Combichrist, Imperative Reaction, Modulate & Everything Goes Cold
Sat, Aug 18 The Ex-Boyfriends at Pop Roxx
Sun, Aug 19 Android Lust, Tesseract7 & Insect
Sat, Aug 25 Hubba Hubba Revue
(Now monthly! Photos.)
Thu, Sep 06 Nachtmystium, Skeletonwitch, Saros & Saviours
(Black metal.)
Thu, Sep 20 New Model Army, Vale & Luminol
Sat, Sep 22 Gram Rabbit at Pop Roxx
Wed, Sep 26 The Birthday Massacre & Dawn of Ashes

something about precious bodily fluids?

WTF? Srsly, WTF?

Scene missing! A video in this post has disappeared. If you know of an accessible version of this video, please mail me so that I can update this post.
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stupid phones

You know what's dumb? How receiving SMS pictures works on a Sprint Treo.

Someone sends you a text message with a picture attached. You get a text message that says "You have a new PictureMail! Click here."

  1. Click it.
  2. That takes you to the web browser, looking at a page that says "New picture mail from xyz", with a thumbnail that's, like, 12x12 pixels. Click the image, or the text below it that says "View Media".

  3. Now there's a slightly larger, but still unreadable, image, and now, for the first time, you get to see the actual text that was included in the text message. Don't click the image! Click the text below it that says "Save to Phone".

  4. Oh, now we're back to the tiny thumbnail again. Click the link that says "Download to Phone".

  5. Now we're out of the web browser and into a dialog box that says, "Do you want to download?" Click "Yes".

  6. Oh, another dialog. Click "Save and Open".

  7. Oh, another dialog. "Accept media?" Click "OK".

Now you can finally see the full sized image on your phone. Seven clicks! "Click, View, Save, Download, Yes, Open, Accept!" All with a two to five second delay between each opportunity to click.

And it's been this way for years. Don't they even try this crap before shipping it? What kind of person could ship software that behaved this way and feel ok with themselves?

I guess it's better than an iPhone, though, which can't send or receive SMS images at all.

What year is this?

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  • Previously