"Ice-cream-eating motherfucker, that's what you are."

More Talk, Less Rock: 15 Masters Of Onstage Banter

3. Paul Stanley
A CD-length file of Paul Stanley's onstage yelling made the Internet rounds starting in 2005, and the Kiss guitarist's effeminate, positive-power ("You people are dynamite!") insanity made him sound like a hyperactive motivational speaker. The 86-megabyte file sounds pristine, too; if Steve Albini ever recorded between-song banter, it would sound like this. Named People, Let Me Get This Off My Chest, the 70-track collection features every rock 'n' roll cliché known to man. Stanley screams dedications to "young" women ("We got any little girls out there tonight?"), temperature (via the endless ways that "Hotter Than Hell" and "Firehouse" can be introduced), and booze (simply "ALLCOOOHAAALL!!!!"). Also: "How many of you gals out there like to get licked?! Okay, how many of you guys out there like to get licked?" And that's just the first 10 minutes.

9. Fugazi


"I saw you two guys earlier at the Good Humor truck, and you were eating your ice cream like little boys, and I thought, 'Those guys aren't so tough! They're eating ice cream.' I saw you eating an ice-cream cone, pal... You're bad now, but I saw you... That's the shit you can't hide. You eat ice cream; everybody knows it. Ice-cream-eating motherfucker, that's what you are."
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6 Responses:

  1. giles says:

    Ice-cream-eating motherfucker, that's what you are.

    Isn't that an old blues standard?

  2. temp_revenge says:

    I listened to #1 and almost peed my pants.

  3. lifelike001 says:

    sometimes tough guys need to cry into a bucket of baskin robbins too.

  4. redleaf8 says:

    I was expecting Stanley to sound like Mike Tyson or something, but he sounds pretty David Lee Rothish. I guess standard rock guy voice is effeminate.

  5. I won a ticket to KISS in the mid 80s sometime. Had no interest in them at all, but it was free so I went. I was the oldest person there and I wasn't very old. Except for the mothers. The mothers with their 6 to 11 year old daughters who made up the vast majority of the audience. The extended "guess what I've got in my pocket" introduction to Love Gun ("be careful 'cause it might SHOOT YOU!") screeched out to these little girls who screeched right back is high on my personal Greatest Rock Moments list.

    Oh I do so hope it's in that file.