The Pig Who Taught His Asshole To Talk

Oink.

(I have a hard time seeing it this way, but apparently that's not actually an anus with lips. It's the other way around: it's a head with two snouts, and the goatse in the middle is two of the eyes, not a mouth.)

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26 Responses:

  1. dali_drama says:

    so it's ears are on it's ass? call me crazy, but i swear i see ears back there.

    • jwz says:

      That's not it's ass, that's it's face. Picture a pig facing you, looking down and to your left (so you see its left eye). Now mirror it, so that it's other head is looking down and to your right.

  2. mooflyfoof says:

    Oh those little snouts are so cute.

    Poor Eric is gonna hate you for this one.

  3. quercus says:

    The Pig Who Taught His Asshole To Talk
    That's not one of the Freak Brothers cartoons that I remember, but it sure sounds familiar.

  4. latemodel says:

    This sort of genetic abnormality is not terribly surprising.

    The fact that you appear to have ACR tracks, now that's surprising. Watching 24-hour Party People, I got the feeling that even Tony Wilson didn't think they were that impressive.

  5. ioerror says:

    My first thought was of Naked Lunch. Just one big puckered pig looking for some bug spray.

    • ferrouswheel says:

      I was trying to remember the whole conversation between asshole and man. But it's been a while since I read it.

      • spoonyfork says:

        Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in-curving hooks and start eating. He thought this was cute at first and built an act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth.

  6. drkscrtlv says:

    All he would do all day is talk shit.
    And when I suggested maybe some mouthwash, a tongue scraper maybe, he got violent.

  7. endon_neu says:

    That is pretty disturbing (especially as my first reaction was the same as yours) - so does it have 4 functioning eyes as well? Seems hard to imagine that it's not going to be permanently frying its brain with conflicting pairs of sensory input...

    Anyway, I don't know what your policy on "friending" is, but I'm adding you to my f-list, unless you tell me otherwise (I'm guessing you have "enough" friends on LJ already, but what the hell, it saves me opening a new tab)...

  8. baconmonkey says:

    that photo looks nothing like Rove and Cheney.

  9. bax says:

    This little piggy creeps me right the hell out.

  10. dirtybunny says:

    it's like an Escher piece...

    can't.
    stop.
    looking.

  11. g_na says:

    I wanna see an x-ray, damnit! And are the eyes functional? The jaws? Do both mouths try to suckle at once? Where exactly does the bifurcation occur internally? These are all important details!

  12. phoenixredux says:

    Wow. Talk about a Grim Meathook Future!

  13. dougo says:

    When all you have is a dick, everything looks like an anus with lips.

  14. drhoz says:

    Hey, cool, a replacement for the late Ditto the Pig! the condition is called hyperteloism, BTW - severe overexpression of the Sonic Hedgehog genes, causing the face to get wider, and wider, and wider, until it bifurcates right down the middle. Ditto survived well into adulthood :)

    (underexpression of sonic, on the otherhand, leads to cyclopism - invariably fatal)

    • sclatter says:

      But there's a ton of variability in the cyclopism phenotype. We had a clinician from NIH here, and he actually had a long series of pictures of holoprosencephalic humans-- from non-viable fetuses with one eye and a snout, up to people who looked pretty normal but just slightly...off. One hallmark of the phenotype was a single center incisor. Creeeeepy.

      Oh, here you go.

  15. chronovore says:

    All I see is bacon, waiting to happen.

  16. sherbooke says:

    For a moment, I thought it was something to do with the pig-farmer-cum-alledged prostitute-killer.

    BTB, my version Firefox 2 search doesn't complete on prostitute. Also, I don't want to know what the consequences are of typing "pig farmer prostitute killer" into Google search. At least the results were, umm, SFW.

  17. dossy says:

    OMG NOES!@# STOP THE GENETIC ENGINEERING! NOW!