delete yourself from the internets!

From: Jim <>
Date: December 26, 2006 3:27:26 PM PST
Subject: I mneed your help

I do not quite know what I am doing when I get to your site. I want to download the 200 screen savers. I'm running fedora core 4 on and hp computer. What ever I click it doesn't give me the option to install, can you give me a little help please?

From: Jamie Zawinski <>
Date: December 26, 2006 9:53:40 PM PST
Subject: Re: I mneed your help

Fedora packages a version of xscreensaver for you. Just install the Fedora "xscreensaver-base", "xscreensaver-extras", and "xscreensaver-gl-extras" packages instead of downloading the source code.

From: "Jim" <>
Date: December 28, 2006 10:04:16 PM PST
To: "'Jamie Zawinski'" <>
Subject: RE: I need your help

Why don't you just tell me how to get them from your site, because it takes too long to reinstall the software?

From: Jamie Zawinski <>
Date: December 29, 2006 2:50:42 AM PST
To: Jim <>
Subject: Re: I need your help

Because if you didn't understand the instructions on the download page, that means it will be far, far simpler for you to figure out how to install Fedora's binaries than compile it from source. It's not easy.

From: Jim <>
Date: December 29, 2006 12:14:59 PM PST
To: Jamie Zawinski <>
Subject: Re: I need your help

Then you should remove yourself from the download site, if you don't have the patience to tell me.
Since it took you so long to answer me, I had time to figure it out for myself.
I do not need your help anymore.

Tags: , ,

40 Responses:

  1. b_a_t says:

    Err.. LOL?

    You can give free advice to the guy how to commit suicide though :>

  2. pete23 says:

    I'm running fedora core 4 on and hp computer.

    linux is now sufficiently mainstream that it reaches people broken due to idiocy, rather than autism. an advance of some sort.

  3. spikenheimer says:

    wow. its nice to see that he got that in just as the wire was coming down for Douchebag of 2006 awards voting.

  4. autopope says:

    Wow. That's ... special.

    Can I suggest that a quick look in the BOFH's handbook would be in order at this point, in case he pollutes your inbox again?

  5. vordark says:


    Being that you appear to have left his email address intact, I suspect it's likely he'll be hating you even more. :)

  6. deyo says:

    if (username == "JimHudock" ) {
    printf ("Clue not found. Please delete yourself from the interweb.");
    self.Uninstall ("all", 0);

  7. mc_kingfish says:

    I'm willing to bet this is a c-l-o-w-n.

  8. jkow says:

    yeah! damned packet managers. ;) Why can't we just grab the software we need from the thousands of well maintained webpages? Isn't that why god invented rpm?


  9. elainegrey says:

    "Since it took you so long to answer me"

    Let's see, second request for help: 10 pm Dec 28. The response is at 2:50 am Dec 29.

    Almost five hours is too long?

    Beyond all the other idiotic elements, that claim is suspicious. I don't think this guy is really an idiot, just damned lazy. Realizing he couldn't get jwz to make it easier for him, he finally RTFMed.

    If he were really an idiot, i might feel a shred of sympathy for him.

    • madfire says:

      He sat in the internet cafe, refreshing his isp mail page furiosly, waiting for answer impatiently. Evil evil jwz took whole 6 hours at first to answer!

  10. enochsmiles says:

    Wow. You were a lot more patient than I could have been, by that last exchange.

  11. evan says:

    I'm surprised and slightly impressed that you were so polite to him in the first place.

  12. lalalydia says:

    HELP! I cannot find my ass!


  13. brianenigma says:


  14. pdx6 says:

    Your first warning was his "mneed" for help; I thought this was going to be a 419 thread.

    I'm surprised SA didn't eat the email.

  15. funjon says:

    Such restraint.

    Who the fuck are you, and where did you put JWZ??!

  16. loosechanj says:

    That doesn't sound like someone whose first language isn't english.

    • jesus_x says:

      It's amazing how people born and raised on English can suddenly talk like a chink with a bad engrish dictionary when using a keyboard. grammer goes right out their ass.

      • lohphat says:

        Bing part chink, I will raise your RAM and LCD prices for that remark.

        • jesus_x says:

          And being a stupid white man, I will continue to buy it at inflated prices against an undervalued currency keeping the trade deficit nice and high. But hey, I can play games!

  17. fantasygoat says:

    Your email address must be in every single spam list on the entire internet, nevermind the endless stream of complete useless crap like the above flowing in.

    How is your mailbox still readable?

  18. four says:

    Although it is deserved, posting his name and email address is a bit cruel.

  19. bitpuddle says:

    You were remarkably patient with this dipshit.

  20. miguelitosd says:

    I get emails like that sometimes from other people I work with, some IC engineers, but once in awhile other sysadmins.. people who are basically too goddamn lazy to take two seconds to use google, search our internal docs, or read the status mail I sent out 1 hour earlier with the details.

    Serious pet peeve of mine... closely followed by the email telling you a change you need to make to a script for them. A change small enough that it took longer to craft the email (which, of course, includes the code) then it would've taken to simply make the damn change themselves.

    As far as the engineers go, remember that installing linux at home means they're now qualified to be a sysadmin, and know far better then IT does how everything should be done too.