Today in Chicken Vacuum News

16 years ago
EZ Catch Chicken Harvester

Previously.

Tags: , , ,
Current Music: The Future Sound of London -- Herd Killing ♬

28 Responses:

  1. mactavish says:
    16 years ago at 3:22 pm

    I'm not giving up poultry, but I think I just permanently, rather than "when I can," changed what poultry I eat.
    • nightrider says:
      16 years ago at 3:53 pm

      ...this is relatively minor example of how consumable animals are treated on high-volume farms.There are, of course "kinder" animal product alternatives to be found at places such as Rainbow Grocery; but in the end, they all get their heads chopped off before you eat 'em.

      "...off with your head!"
      • jsl32 says:
        16 years ago at 7:03 pm

        eh, so do plenty of veggies. but they don't make any delightful and sympathy-inspiring noises, so that makes it ok, or something.
        • nightrider says:
          16 years ago at 8:49 pm

          "eh, so do plenty of veggies. but they don't make any delightful and sympathy-inspiring noises, so that makes it ok, or something."

          Which is precisely why I'm a Breatharian. Poor, poor, little broccolis. They never even had a chance...
  2. ammutbite says:
    16 years ago at 3:24 pm

    You've gotta tell them!...Soylent Green is Chicken!
  3. chuck_lw says:
    16 years ago at 3:42 pm

    That's just a scale-model prototype for what they'll use on US!
    • howie_d_rivet says:
      16 years ago at 1:12 am

      i was just thinking of how this would be pretty effective for riot control.
  4. gutbloom says:
    16 years ago at 3:50 pm

    How did this escape the "grim meathook future" tag?
  5. doctorfedora says:
    16 years ago at 4:27 pm

    Maybe it makes me a horrible person, but I found it richly amusing when the thing shot the bewildered chickens into the big rack box thing.
  6. poopsmoothie says:
    16 years ago at 5:53 pm

    NOT VEGAN
  7. lordshell says:
    16 years ago at 7:06 pm

    That hurt my brain.

    You must have a team working for you to find this weird shit, don't you? No one man can find all of this.
  8. govtpiggy says:
    16 years ago at 11:32 pm

    What efficiency! As an engineer, I'm impressed.
  9. marc_lacoste says:
    16 years ago at 1:34 am

    History repeating. This was in one of your comments eighteen months ago.
  10. baconmonkey says:
    16 years ago at 3:48 am

    While that robot sucks chickens out of the barn, This robot starts them out, launching chicks into the barn where they may grow up big and strong (in 8 months).

    Also, can we get a bigger one of these for closing time?

    Also, also, someone out there in lazywebland needs to write a screensaver incorporating both of these machines, plus the growth and maturation of the launched chickes into harvest worthy chickens.
    • ritcey says:
      16 years ago at 9:44 am

      Am I a bad person for repeatedly laughing out loud while watching this?
      • cessibaby says:
        16 years ago at 11:25 pm

        it won't be so funny when you're reincarnated as a tortured farm animal will it now.
        • ritcey says:
          16 years ago at 7:41 am

          Just as well, then, that reincarnation isn't one of the doctrines of my religion. Plus I'm unsure how well developed a chicken's sense of humor is nor, as I understand it, would I remember laughing at such a situation when I was in a human incarnation, so the irony would be lost on my chicken-self. And, again, I'm not sure chickens are big on irony. I'll give you that "it won't be so funny when you're reincarnated as 'X'" is a nice all-purpose line that can be used for pretty much any situation that you disapprove of.
          • cessibaby says:
            16 years ago at 8:45 am

            don't condescend please. it's an unattractive quality.
            • ritcey says:
              16 years ago at 9:04 am

              Claiming that, according to your particular religious beliefs, I'm going to be punished in a later life for laughing at this is somehow attractive?
              • cessibaby says:
                16 years ago at 9:12 am

                you're missing my point. the point is not about religious dogma. the point is if you were empathetic to other living creatures, it would cease to be funny.
  11. rapier1 says:
    16 years ago at 9:25 am

    Oh. My. God.

    This makes me so deleriously happy.
  12. cessibaby says:
    16 years ago at 11:26 pm

    most of your links are awesome. this is sick and everything thats wrong with our culture.
    • jwz says:
      16 years ago at 1:55 am

      Everything? Really?
      • 205guy says:
        16 years ago at 10:41 am

        I think cessibaby is saying that vacuuous pop singers (and their video producers) are that way because they eat industrial chicken. I think JWZ is saying that sick and culture-warping items make awesome links.

        BTW, after JWZ previous links to sadistic content, I admit I winced when clicking on those links, but I ... just ... couldn't ... resist.

  • Previously