Today in Chicken Vacuum News

EZ Catch Chicken Harvester


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28 Responses:

  1. mactavish says:

    I'm not giving up poultry, but I think I just permanently, rather than "when I can," changed what poultry I eat.

    • nightrider says:

      ...this is relatively minor example of how consumable animals are treated on high-volume farms.There are, of course "kinder" animal product alternatives to be found at places such as Rainbow Grocery; but in the end, they all get their heads chopped off before you eat 'em.

      " with your head!"
      • jsl32 says:

        eh, so do plenty of veggies. but they don't make any delightful and sympathy-inspiring noises, so that makes it ok, or something.

  2. ammutbite says:

    You've gotta tell them!...Soylent Green is Chicken!

  3. chuck_lw says:

    That's just a scale-model prototype for what they'll use on US!

  4. gutbloom says:

    How did this escape the "grim meathook future" tag?

  5. doctorfedora says:

    Maybe it makes me a horrible person, but I found it richly amusing when the thing shot the bewildered chickens into the big rack box thing.

  6. lordshell says:

    That hurt my brain.

    You must have a team working for you to find this weird shit, don't you? No one man can find all of this.

  7. govtpiggy says:

    What efficiency! As an engineer, I'm impressed.

  8. marc_lacoste says:

    History repeating. This was in one of your comments eighteen months ago.

  9. baconmonkey says:

    While that robot sucks chickens out of the barn, This robot starts them out, launching chicks into the barn where they may grow up big and strong (in 8 months).

    Also, can we get a bigger one of these for closing time?

    Also, also, someone out there in lazywebland needs to write a screensaver incorporating both of these machines, plus the growth and maturation of the launched chickes into harvest worthy chickens.

    • ritcey says:

      Am I a bad person for repeatedly laughing out loud while watching this?

      • cessibaby says:

        it won't be so funny when you're reincarnated as a tortured farm animal will it now.

        • ritcey says:

          Just as well, then, that reincarnation isn't one of the doctrines of my religion. Plus I'm unsure how well developed a chicken's sense of humor is nor, as I understand it, would I remember laughing at such a situation when I was in a human incarnation, so the irony would be lost on my chicken-self. And, again, I'm not sure chickens are big on irony. I'll give you that "it won't be so funny when you're reincarnated as 'X'" is a nice all-purpose line that can be used for pretty much any situation that you disapprove of.

  10. rapier1 says:

    Oh. My. God.

    This makes me so deleriously happy.

  11. cessibaby says:

    most of your links are awesome. this is sick and everything thats wrong with our culture.

      • 205guy says:

        I think cessibaby is saying that vacuuous pop singers (and their video producers) are that way because they eat industrial chicken. I think JWZ is saying that sick and culture-warping items make awesome links.

        BTW, after JWZ previous links to sadistic content, I admit I winced when clicking on those links, but I ... just ... couldn't ... resist.

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