Fire officials said the six-hundred pound man was in being cremated when his body fluids were too much for the oven. The body fluids seeped out onto the floor and ignited causing a fire at the Garner Funeral Home in Salt Lake City. "Those fluids can be very flammable," said Scott Freitag of the Salt Lake City fire department. "Sort of like a grease fire."
The crematorium is back in business and the funeral director said they'll notify the family to assure them their loved one wasn't harmed.
Fire. In crematorium.
Dead man. Harmed.
So is this your entry into the Six-Word Story Contest?
Not on purpose, but apparently so.
JWZ posts comment, being meta again.
stop that. you're hurting my brain.
What are you all talking about?
I think you missed my humor.
Subtle humor breeds noncomprehension. Oh, humanity!
It wasn't that bad. Was it?
In this day, who can say?
Stop, please, for the love of . . . Bugger!
This would make a good six-word story for that thing that is going around LJ/Wired.
We're made of meat. Ew.
We're grease fires waiting to happen.
For safety reasons, we must require all fat people to be made into soap.
Let's make butter. I know how.
I'm with the soap person...
The first rule of The Big & Tall Mormon Shop 'n Soap Company is... etc. etc.
I am going to hell for how hard I laughed at that. (Yay!)
Heez nem wass Robert Polson
We should be banned from airlines. Or atleast, humans should only be allowed on in volumes of less than 3oz, and only in ziploc baggies.
the human body is just a big wet tallow candle, realistically.
Especially in America.
Who needs elections? New combustible candidates!
Even moreso in Europe and China.
And not even all that wet, if the stories of spontaneous human combustion are to be believed.
Fat man burns. Film at 11.
"It happens sometimes: people just explode."
bhahahaaaa, . . .
can't stop laughing. . .
eyes watering. . . .
I was like that a few comments previous.... still continuing enough to have the wife wondering just what in the hell I found THIS time on the Internets.
Well I was sitting at our reception desk when I found this earlier today. . . I'm still laughing. . .
Six words and ten syllables. Impressive.
Wow - 80s flashback! Must buy DVD...
Just look out for the acid rain.
This is the funniest thing T O D A Y!!!
Girl in my EMT class doing CPR:
Instructor: "Push harder, you need to compress at least 2-3 inches."
Girl: "Wont I break his ribs?"
Instructor: "He's DEAD! You cant hurt him"
Good point! What's a few broken ribs when you're ALIVE again?
Personally, I dont even mind the cracking sound. They dont even notice it. They're dead.
I can't believe nobody commented on "the funeral director said they'll notify the family to assure them their loved one wasn't harmed".
"Don't worry, ma'am, despite the fire, the corpse you sent us to burn for you wasn't harmed."
Nobody comment on that, huh? Wow.
Well, except for the, err, comment in the post.
I'm surprised it took so long.
Ironic that as I was reading this, I heard several sirens in the distance.
I don't think that Irony means what you think it means.
Solyent diesel is people!
Ok you! GET outta my head!
six hundred pounds
I'm not going to take the lack of comments on that statistic as evidence that no one noticed, or that no one is surprised. but c'mon ... six hundred pounds.
ps: keep your pictures to yourselves.