Retired S1Ws Recalled To Active Duty

I know it's bad form to post Onion links, but this one is seriously brilliant:

STRONG ISLAND, NY -- With recruitment down sharply, and the prospect of being held back by the nation of millions appearing once again likely, top-ranking Public Enemy officials issued an order Monday for all retired Security Of The First World personnel to return to active duty.
Tags:

8 Responses:

  1. chr0me_kitten says:

    "I got a letter from the P.E. the other day," said James Bomb, 46, also a former S1W. "I opened it, and read it, and said they were suckers. They want me for their army or whatever? Picture me giving a damn-I said 'Never.'"

    "Then again, I could use the money," Bomb added.

    That made my insomnia-riddled night.

    • jwz says:

      That was my favorite part too...

      • evan says:

        My favorite part is the high-ranking but anonymous member who ends his leak with "Yeeeeaaaah, boyyyyy!"

      • rivetpepsquad says:

        Mine too!!

        Actually, these last three posts (P.E./giant jellyfish/Nietzsche Family Circus) are like a triumvirate of RAW AWESOME, rocking my morning up several notches. Thanks.

    • morbid_curious says:

      He ain't wit it. It shoulda occurred to him, those suckas got authority.

  2. carus_erus says:

    Saw, this, thought: It has to go on <lj user=jwz>'s journal.

    Cause I'm just too unoriginal to post it in my own:

    Sub-woofers

  3. dr_wrebagzhoe says:

    Yeeeeeah, boyeee!