One of the most aggravating moments of my life came when I asked my grandfather for the recipe for his tomato sauce. I can't remember most of the answer, but it started with "first you buy some seeds." The answer then meandered through a half hour's worth of required soil conditions, planting dates, picking dates, what kind of rain you needed, the proper twist of the wrist used when picking the perfect tomatoes... It took him a whole afternoon to finish talking.
I only asked that question once, but I wanted to murder him whenever I thought about the answer. You would have wanted to murder him too; that's why he gave that answer to anyone who asked. My grandfather could be a real prick.