chainsaws on a plane

Items banned at airports find a home in the discount bin

Why on earth someone would ever pack a claw hammer or a hacksaw in an airplane carry-on bag remains a mystery to Tom Zekos. All he knows is that he loves the chance to get top-quality tools for his workshop for $1 each, thanks to a unique bazaar, in the middle of a corn field, that sells contraband items seized at Logan International Airport and three other New England airports. [...]

The vast majority of non lighter items seized are knives. But TSA Logan officials see plenty of bizarre objects. Inside a guarded room at Logan recently were a citrus juicer, rotary saw, drywall knife, replica hand grenades, a belt buckle the shape of a derringer handgun, machetes, double-sided razor blades, food-processor blades, .50-caliber ammunition, golf clubs, and a cricket bat. In recent years two fully-fueled chainsaws have showed up in Logan travelers' carry-on bags.

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14 Responses:

  1. tfofurn says:

    I can think of at least two ways a chainsaw could be used to get more leg room in coach.

  2. nidea says:

    Oops, I forgot I stored those in my carry-on bag. o_O

    Now I want a belt buckle in the shape of a chainsaw. Or a bottle of water...

  3. phoenixredux says:

    If you outlaw chainsaws, soon only outlaws will have chainsaws.

  4. korgmeister says:

    Man, I wish they sold on stuff like that in Australia. Getting some cheap, yet good tools would be niiiice.

  5. for the longest time, i wanted to get a chainsaw case and use it as my carry on bag, unfortunately, the humor of such a gag would now be lost on both the public and TSA and I would inevitably end up in a room somewhere with the business end of a rubber glove you know where...

    can't wait for america to have its sense of humor back...

  6. wfaulk says:

    Citrus juicer? I cannot fathom how one might use a juicer to affect the security of an airplane.

    I guess, maybe, if they meant a non-citrus juicer — the kind that grind up fruits and vegetables — maybe the blades could be extracted, but a veined hemisphere doesn't seem like a great threat.

  7. quercus says:

    Why on earth someone would ever pack a claw hammer

    In case of snakes, of course!

  8. pavel_lishin says:

    All they need is a boomstick, and their airplane will be zombie-safe.

  9. jered says:

    In recent years two fully-fueled chainsaws have showed up in Logan travelers' carry-on bags.

    So, I just read this out loud to my husband (<lj user="maskin77">), and he insists that he saw a TV interview with the owners of these chainsaws. Apparently, they are international lumberjack competition champions, and the chainsaws in question were custom-made, finely-tuned instruments. Think of the stories you've read about musicians stressing about checking their priceless cellos, and apply it to wood-cutting tools.

    A cursory web search doesn't turn up anything to substantiate this, but he's not very good at bullshitting me, so I'm inclined to believe him.