Transportation Safety Administration Rules on Helper Monkeys

Monkey Helpers:

  • When a monkey is being transported in a carrier, the monkey must be removed from the carrier by the handler prior to screening,
  • The monkey must be controlled by the handler throughout the screening process.

  • The monkey handler should carry the monkey through the WTMD while the monkey remains on a leash.

  • When the handler and monkey go through the WTMD and the WTMD alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening.

  • Since monkeys may likely draw attention, the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on. Only the handler will touch or interact with the monkey.

  • TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.

  • TSOs will conduct a visual inspection on the monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.

  • The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey's diaper as part of the visual inspection.

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10 Responses:

  1. greyhame says:

    "TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process."

    • vulpine137 says:

      Hopefully they have been trained to not spank the money during the screening process...

    • wfaulk says:

      Not only is that a silly turn of phrase, but I also find it very hard to believe. It doesn't seem that the TSA people know what's restricted and what's not, much less how to deal with the one-in-a-million chance of encountering a helper monkey.

      Actually, assuming that the numbers in this article are correct, that there are about 300 million people in the US, and that quadriplegics are as likely to fly as everyone else, more like one-in-two-and-a-quarter-million.

      • elegantelbow says:

        They may have attended training in which they were told not to touch the helper monkey. This has suprisingly little bearing on whether they know not to touch the helper monkey.

    • pdx6 says:

      Touching the monkey may result in the production of monkey butter.

  2. elegantelbow says:

    What about penguins?

  3. mc_kingfish says:

    Oddly enough, these are the same instructions given to the door-staff at the DNA on how to handle me while drunk.

    Mind you, I kind of like the diaper inspection.

  4. benediktus says:

    step 9: remove the bay leaf
    step 10: serve with mashed potatoes
    step 11: enjoy