Porn star Carey off and running again
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Sporting new breasts and draped in a cream-colored, ankle-length gown, porn star Mary Carey, who gained worldwide fame running for California governor in 2003, set out on Wednesday to do what she could not three years ago -- beat Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"I think I'm more serious now," Carey said as she arrived at a Los Angeles County elections office to launch her 2006 gubernatorial campaign. "As you can see I'm dressed more seriously. I've got brown in my hair because brunettes are taken more seriously."
The star of "Boobsville Sorority Girls," and "Cheerleader School" said her campaign had already hit a snag because she had collected only about 40 of the 164,000 signatures required to register as an independent candidate.
Carey, who announced in December that she had lost weight, replaced her teeth and acquired new, size 36-D breasts, drew a throng of photographers and gawkers as she entered the building, inspiring one man to call out: "Mary, you're thinner!"
The porn star responded: "Thank you. Smoking cigarettes and quitting birth control."
Carey said she believed porn and politics went together, inspiring her slogan: "Finally, a politician you want to be screwed by" and was determined to win.
"I've actually been sober for five days now," she said, adding that she intended to give up alcohol until election day in November to focus her energies on the campaign.
Carey's platform includes getting the FBI to "leave porn stars alone" and concentrate on the war with Iraq and said that if elected she, like Schwarzenegger, would put her film career on hold while she served as governor.
"Although my movies only take a day or two to shoot, so I could probably do them on weekends," she said.
New teeth AND 5 days sober? She cant loose!
see also: our president.
ya know, the one who won.
-FW
"In other news, scandal erupts as it's revealed that the sex life of gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey is actually more bland and ordinary than the sex lives of most politicians."
...
Of course, it'll be nothing more than a lie planted by Karl Rove. But unfortunately it'll be the factor that'll sway just enough people at the voting booth.
That, and the caging lists for people seen entering sex shops and strip cl...
Oh, wait. That'd snag Republicans, too. Never mind.
I am only, um, familiar with one of her performances, but in it she seems rather uninspired. I mean, who would counter being brought off by dual vibrators with an ordinary lucite dildo -- and without any clitoral stimulation?!? The way she wiggles it back and forth one or two inches at most is pathetic. I feel sorry for her esteemed colleague, Ms. Haze.
Still, that's not as bad as promising not to campaign for Bush and then showing up in Ohio for the week before the election.
She also seemed pretty uninspired when she strolled into the Howard Stern Show this morning, completely trashed, and rode a sex machine in front of the Bloodhound Gang twice. Between her spotty shaving and overtly faked responses, the audience was left unimpressed if amused.
The election requirements are here. Compare the partisan requirements:
With the independant requirements:
I guess the number 164,000 popped out of that somewhere. Is it just me, or is that really really high?
It would be funny to see a porno with "Mary Carey (I - Ca)" in the opening credits.
I was not aware it was so much more difficult to get on the ballot as an independent candidate. Pretty shitty if you ask me since it inherently favors political parties (and if you're already in a party it's probably much easier to collect signatures to begin with). It also, cunningly, makes it harder for someone to try to get a new party going since all your signatories need to be members of the same party. You'd think independent candidates would be something we'd want to encourage rather than well-funded parties that already have built-in support.
You are aware that members of the established political parties made these rules, right? The same people that gerrymander political districts?
There's a strong incentive to keep politics a two-horse race. Every serious third party has only managed to be a contender for a handful of election cycles before either becoming one of the major two parties or fading back into the background. There's probably a game-theoretic explanation for this, but I don't know what it is off the top of my head.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duverger%27s_law ?
"Finally, a politician you want to be screwed by"
that depends on your tastes I'd say.
Her hair still looks blond in that photo..I don't see any brown in it. However it is true that people don't take blondes seriously, thus my lack of my natural haircolor.
http://governor.marycarey.com/platform.html
really she probably wouldn't be any worse than arny. sigh. she's equally hideous to look at though. her breasts are even. ew.
I like how her gubernatorial site shares the domain of her porn site. She can't spare $8.95 to register marycareyforcalifornia.com? (I see marycareyforgovernor.com exists, but it doesn't appear to mention the current race.)
If it exists, you can't buy it.
-FW
Whois Server Version 2.0Domain names in the .com and .net domains can now be registered
with many different competing registrars. Go to http://www.internic.net
for detailed information.
No match for "MARYCAREYFORCALIFORNIA.COM".
>>> Last update of whois database: Thu, 17 Aug 2006 19:57:09 EDT <<<
Just when I had faith that someone made a system that made sense ... oh well.
W3C ftl.
-FW
I would rather people used subdomains for things like that. I don't know that marycareyforcalifornia.com isn't some whacko from Indiana rather than the real thing.
"Finally, a politician you want to be screwed by"
I wonder if the double entendre is intentional?
Indeed, all our governors do seem to screw us eventually. In terms of the secondary meaning, I know people who voted for Arnie just because they'd rather be screwed by him than another, less amusing canidate. Hell, I know one guy who voted for Arnold just to get his signature on the UC Berkeley diploma he had coming. While I definitely find that sort of irresponsible attitude repulsive, I can't say I won't giggle a bit if my diploma ends up with Arnold's signature on it.
She actually has a platform, and at least one good reform idea that we have not heard before:
* Tax plastic surgery, diminish taxes on gasoline
It might just work, too bad people have trouble voting for a non-apologetic sex worker.
-FW
I have nothing against voting for a sex worker, Nina Hartley would probably make a very good candidate, I just have something against voting for a complete idiot. I'll admit I haven't read much on her platform (since I don't live in California at the present), but based on what I've heard her say she really strikes me as very, very dumb.
I have nothing against voting for a complete idiot. There really isn't any alternative in that regard.
And I was not speaking of you directly, more of the voting population.
-FW
This is so awesome, this needs to happen, just so we can say it did.
Coem on, california! Do the wrong thing!
dear american people,
please stop exploring your election-system.
it really freaks us out.
love,
the rest
We just had her at my place of employment for an interview. She looks um, wierd.
Weird for a porn star, or weird for a governor?
Wierd for a governor. We crammed here into a crappy office and hurled questions at her, which she answered without fail.
She was actually pretty cool about the whole thing, creating a video-blog type thing for the naked truth, which is a feature on our site, http://www.gamelink.com.