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Aw man. All the good ideas are taken.
Crush the brain instead of chop the head off. I guess it kills them faster.
It also provides a handle to solve the running around, fountaining blood issue that your forbears had to suffer through. Better living through brain smashing!
But that's the best part!
*mutters something about taking away all her fun*
clearly the problem with this is that you can only kill one at a time. We really need something like this.
Are you sure? If a chicken will run around with its head cut off why wouldn't it run around with its head smashed? Plus the foutain of blood? Well maybe the blood comes out slower? In any case don't the drain the carcass of blood anyway? I guess it might be less of a mess.
Seems the problem of how to prevent the chicken running around with its head cut off was solved a long time ago by factory farms where they hand the chicken by its feet upside-down and run it through a machine that cuts off the head.
This is why the crushing tool is more humane. It's too terrifying to die hanging upside-down.
If a chicken will run around with its head cut off why wouldn't it run around with its head smashed?
Because you're holding on to it with a massive pair of pliers you just used to crush its spicy brain?
It's too terrifying to die hanging upside-down.
I think I've found a phrase I'd tattoo on myself, if only I knew for sure I'd never wind up in prison.
What a lovely crunching noise that must make.
You can hear it in your head now, can't you...
Dammit. I wanted to make an endless supply of Mike the Headless Chickens.
Is it so wrong that I'm thinking of ways to use that as a sex toy?
Only if you mean after using it on a chicken.
while
A fetish is born every minute.
*snicker* Reminds me of stories my brother told my about going on leave to Thailand ;-)
It's interesting that the handle is so short -- that wouldn't offer much leverage. Is there so little protection between the mouth and the cranium?
I'm betting that it's plenty of leverage, if you have big farmer hands accustomed to such manual labor. The skull of a chicken isn't so thick that you'd meet that much resistance with a tool like this. It might take some practice, but after a few violent flappers/blood squirters, you'd get the hang of it.
This reminds me - time for dinner!
Really, can the bones of a chicken skull be that tough?
I bet its harder to get the business end into their mouths.
Their bones are designed to be lightweight, if their bones were as dense as land based animals they couldn't fly. Never mind that chickens in general can't fly... Anyway, just consider how many birds kill themselves by flying in to windows.
Also, there seems to be a misinterpretation that it crushes the skull, it looks to me like a blade rather than a blunt instrument. Maybe designed to cut the brainstem, or arteries or something?
I get the feeling that the picture makes using the tool look a whole lot easier than it is.
"Now open wide."
I'd feel an irrestible urge to quote Roy Batty each time I used that thing.
Guess what? NOT VEGAN. ;)
I'm reasonably certain the tool itself is quite vegan.
Plant eaters--how did they manage to evolve? After all it doesn't take any brains to sneak up on a carrot now does it?
Good idea. The remnants of crushed brain would prevent the random firing of the spinal cord which causes the running. I used to know a farmer expert in killing chickens, his secret was to chop through the centre of the head. The small portion of brain still attached to the neck would damp down the spastic twitching which makes them run, and there would be less blood as well.
I'm pretty sure the bottom half of the pincers is actually a blade, so you're effectively bisecting the chicken brain.
What the bloody hell?
How do you keep finding this stuff?!
I'd guess it's a combination of alot of free time and readers sending him tips by email.
Nah, that's far too simple an explanation. Couldn't be.
You're absolutely right, I missed a prime opportunity to work monkeys into my explanation somehow.
You too can read <lj user="riotclitshave">
Wonder if it comes in bigger sizes...
You can't get Republicans to put things into their mouths easily and their thick skulls would prove difficult for a single squeeze crunchy.
Now baby fur seals are another question...
From the box illustration, you have to insert one end into the chicken's mouth. How cooperative is the chicken likely to be? Perhaps you have to train all your chickens to chomp down on shiny metal tools?
My grandma used to fill her apron with feed, start scattering it, look around at the chickens as they rushed towards her, grab the one that wasn't laying enough eggs lately by the neck, and, with a quick circular jerk, SNAP the neck, and stuff the chicken in her apron pocket for frying up and makin' down pillows with. Yee haw!
That's how the coffee bean plantations in Colombia rocked it, I'm sure that's how many a farm lady anywhere rocked it...
safe
sure
easy
fun!