With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

Early this afternoon I was walking down Market (with my mom, no less) and suddenly there was this guy running full-tilt toward us in a state of panic -- followed at extreme speed by three cops. In the quarter second before he passed us, my immediate instinct (to the no-doubt delight of uke) was, "I must now step sideways and trip this man." An eighth of a second after that (to the no-doubt delight of my dependants hangers-on employees) was "no, then that man will sue me." So I didn't. And then suddenly there were six cops chasing him (and you know what cops look like, they are not "running oriented"). They turned a corner and were all gone.

And then a second and a half later I thought, "wait, this is exactly how Uncle Ben died."


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23 Responses:

  1. rly says:

    But remember, with no superpowers comes no responsibility.

    • jwz says:

      "Power corrupts, and absolute power is kind of awesome really."

      • rly says:

        I still don't get why Green Lantern turned out to be so much more of a fascist than Superman. The ring doesn't work against yellow, but Superman's only really prone to kryptonite and magic and anarchists don't have those, but they could sure get yellow jumpsuits à la Bottle Rocket.

  2. jwm says:


    So, the question I'm wondering is, "just what superpowers does Jamie possess?"

    (Of course, you should have deftly stepped into his path, stopping him, taken a fall, then sued him for reckless public wossname, instead :-)


  3. ammutbite says:

    Uncle Ben, sure, but what about the parents of Bruce Wayne?

  4. pauraque says:

    I actually saw a dude getting arrested on Market this afternoon. So maybe they caught him. :o

  5. korgmeister says:

    Well, the world of Superheroes seems to be one surprisingly free of legal liability problems.

    So fuck Uncle Ben.

  6. telecart says:

    "no, then that man will sue me."

    Ahhahaha, god I love America.

  7. benediktus says:

    "I must now step sideways and trip this man."
    i would have thought the same, but then ... there is
    enough sadistic glee in option B:
    mulder: (staring at homer) his jiggling is almost hypnotic.
    scully: yes, it's like a lava lamp.

  8. dossy says:

    "And then a second and a half later I thought, "wait, this is exactly how Uncle Ben died." "

    Ah, he had been making a "special" batch of Rice-a-Roni (you know, that San Francisco treat!) and someone tipped off the cops, which resulted in the foot-chase through the streets?

  9. drhoz says:

    Was near Central Station in Sydney many years ago now, and watched with interest as one person carrying a sack of change fled frantically a few steps ahead of a furiously pursuing other gent. They got about halfway across the park, when gentleman one looks back over his right shoulder for any signs of pursuit. Sees nohing, and slows down in relief. He didn't see anything because the pursuer had seen him start to turn his head, moved off to the *left* a bit and promptly tackled him a few short seconds later.

    moneybag was retrieved, a few emphatic pleasantries exchanged, and the pursuer stomped back the way he'd come.

  10. mangosteen says:

    Actually, you probably could have just set a pick on him. That would have slowed him down enough for the cops to catch up without the risk of a suit, as all you were doing was walking down the street. The fact that he happened to run right into you was an unfortunate coincidence.

  11. happypenguin says:

    Tune! I found my Breakbeat Era CD the other day in an old DVD drive that was sitting on a shelf. It was the 2nd one I'd bought as well - I managed to lose the first one.

  12. mysterc says:

    Thank you for being litagatiophobic. You probably would have hurt your ankle, then got all angry and discussed with the human race. Then again, think of the political implications..."nightclub owner foils suspect when police are outclassed..." I better call your publicist.

  13. unwoman says:

    Also, you missed out on getting a Junior SFPD badge sticker.

  14. uke says:

    He wouldn't have known whom to sue if you left quickly enough!