Internet Discovery Leads To Mascot Ban

"Additionally, the city council unanimously passed a resolution changing the name of the baseball team, and requesting all visiting teams with animal mascots to leave them at home."

"This sort of thing hurts everyone who enjoys being a mascot."

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31 Responses:

  1. evan says:

    I'm skeptical that pictures of people in fursuits having sex could scar this kid so much. As far as I know, kids mostly find sex curious, not terrifying. It makes me think that either the article is a fake or that this kid has some serious sex ed issues.

  2. jes5199 says:

    good old Richmond, Oregon. old-fashioned small time life.

  3. luserspaz says:

    Local town bans pooping.

    "You wouldn't believe what people on the internets do with this stuff!"

    • fo0bar says:

      I know what you mean! A few years ago, my town finished a whitewater park, so I went on the internet and searched for "watersports". You wouldn't believe what I found!

      All of the ISPs banded together and banned anything having to do with water. We also bombed the local water authority. It won't cure my mental scarring, but it helped.

  4. kfringe says:

    I think the question becomes exactly how do they enjoy being a mascot? Because that quote "a lot of kids loved Tig" isn't exactly reassuring in this context.

  5. solarbird says:

    I bought it for exactly as long as I needed to in order to laugh uncontrollably before going, "Hey, wait." Perfect.

  6. Hopefully, the furor and paranoia over this "newly discovered" "lifestyle" will divert attention from gay marriage and abortion rights.

    This is a persecution I can get behind. I think the Furries should just take this one for the team (team = the good of this Country).

  7. ultranurd says:

    Holy crap, I just realized that there were events where I was wearing a furry costume when I worked as a Jr. Naturalist at the local nature preserve back when I was in middle school. For some reason I had not made the connection to my later (and unfortunate) awareness of the Furnomenon. One of the mascot's quotes in the article made me think of it.

    • jwz says:

      Recovered memories of sexual abuse, huh? Glad I could help...?

      • ultranurd says:

        Nonono, I'm just going to assume that the adult naturalists never "used" the suits, and that they were in storage except when we (the Jr. Naturalists) were traumatizing slightly younger children. There were puppet shows too. Up until a few minutes ago I had pure memories of that place. Thank you, Internet.

  8. belgand says:

    Man... just wait til this kid sees real animals fucking.

    I do find it a bit odd that they don't know anything about furries. There was even a damn CSI episode that covered furries a few years back(and which I immediately noted was amazingly inaccurate for the vast number of female furries that had actual females inside the fursuits). CSI is about as mainstream as it gets these days.

  9. citizen905 says:

    Little Jeffrey wasn't crying because he saw the debasement of his favorite mascot, he was crying because he saw his future.

  10. It's a good thing the kid didn't stumble on a vanilla porn site. The town would have had to ban... people.

  11. mandy_moon says:

    Oh, that's hysterical.

    This one time when I was 19 or so a middle-aged man came onto the train wearing a plush Winnie-the-Pooh suit minus the head. He was panting and acting vaguely creepy and anyone could tell even without the fur suit that there was a lot that was "off" about him.

    The worst part was that he smelled...well, like shit. Like feces.

    I think had there been any kids on the T that day they might have been scarred for life.

    But Tig seems clean enough.

  12. wsxyz says:

    I just love the new, inoffensive name of the baseball team: The Richmond Skiggers.

  13. davel_jonez says:

    And yet they still think nothing of exposing children to clowns.

  14. djverablue says:

    thank you <lj user="jwz"> for my first good laugh of the morning.

  15. smokedamage says:

    what? but what? ....

  16. georgedorn says:

    Yeah, seriously, hoax. There's no Richmond School District, and the only hits for Richmond, Oregon has it as a ghost town. shows no matches for richmond, OR, but it does show the town I grew up in, population 500.

    How big a town do you need to have a School District?

  17. reesesx says:

    "When I arrived at the library and saw the computer, I was...sickened. I can say without a doubt that it was the most disturbing, depraved thing I have ever had the misfortune to witness."

    Someone needs a visit from Mr. Goatse and Miss Tubgirl.