and every now and then a little mallet hits you on the head

Awakening discomforts

Inside the apartments, known as Reversible Destiny Lofts, the floor of the dining room slopes erratically, the one in the kitchen is sunken and the study features a concave floor. Electric switches are located in unexpected places so you have to feel around for the right one. A glass door to the veranda is so small you have to bend to crawl out. You constantly lose balance, gather yourself up, and occasionally trip and fall. There's no closet space; residents will have to find a way to live there. "[The apartment] makes you alert and awakens instincts, so you'll live better, longer and even forever," says Arakawa.

Completed last October, the apartments are selling for $763,000 each -- about twice as much as a normal apartment in that neighborhood.

See? Being perpetually irritated will make you fucking immortal.

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24 Responses:

  1. valentwine says:

    See? Being perpetually irritated will make you fucking immortal.

    Looks like you won't be catching the bus anytime soon.

  2. dmlaenker says:

    For a second I thought I was reading <lj user=imomus> and you were being completely serious.

    Of course, not discounting that you could still be completely serious.

  3. bistronaut says:

    I am everything!

  4. da_zhuang says:

    "See? Being perpetually irritated will make you fucking immortal."

    I knew there was a reason grumpy old people never kicked the bucket...

  5. deadmoose says:

    Suddenly it makes sense why vampires in movies are always so damned angsty

  6. zorblek says:

    Somewhere, Wowbagger is scowling.

  7. dogbreathcanada says:

    This is geard for old people? Hello hip surgery.

  8. jagger says:

    Hey my apartment was built in the mid 1800s and has all those features plus only $900/month to live there.

    Mmm randomly sloped floors + heavy book cases = excitement!

  9. xinit says:

    Buyers have been described as having "more money than brains" many times in their lives, so I'm sure they're used to it.

  10. tfofurn says:

    There's no closet space

    Forget the rest. The absence of closet space is enough to throw some people into perpetual irritation.

  11. cavorite says:

    Coders will live forever, no doubt.

    • xenogram says:

      I was thinking it would have been better to have been a marine biologist and hang around in a swimsuit, or a geologist and drive around blowing up rocks. I glad that there's a reason to be a coder after all.

  12. dixieflatline says:

    I think it'd make more sense for the Japanese to start using this concept in their prisons.

  13. cocoajava says:

    Great. Now normal people can experience what it's like to be me, all the time.

    *clunk, thud* Whoops.

  14. evan says:

    Hm, no address available. But that crazy park by the same guy is like $6 to enter! Maybe I'll go there this weekend...

  15. jkonrath says:

    Do they come with a computer running a version of Linux that constantly requires you to rebuild the kernel?

  16. kfringe says:

    I see that New Jersey remains on the cutting edge of irritation R&D. Can't fall behind the curve, after all.

    • luserspaz says:

      I maintain that they outsourced their irritation R&D to Pennsylvania's department of transportation.

  17. baconmonkey says:

    what, no "Dear Japanese people, please stop exploring your architecture's sexuality. It really freaks us out. signed The Orthogonal People"

    also, where are the tentacles and robots?

    • kamaraga says:

      > also, where are the tentacles and robots?

      A focus group of stupid yet wealthy people that hated themselves admitted that robots and tentacles turned them on, therefore the absence of these would actually cause the potential customers more frustration.

  18. dasht_brk says:

    > See? Being perpetually irritated will make you fucking immortal.

    Don't mess with me, man. I mean, if that isn't the g-d-f-mf case, then what exactly have i been doing all these years?


  19. greatbiggary says:

    This reminds me of my idea for a smart house weight loss program. Treadmills all over that always oppose you, making your walks to and from the fridge about 10x longer, stairs that go up and down through every doorway, requiring you to both scale them, and duck through the doorway, and counterweights that make every door remain closed, with at least 100lbs of force required to get through them. It's like weights on a bat, but in house/apartment form.

    Wasn't there also an article about how people who constantly use programs with terrible UIs have way sharper brains, because they're minds are always expecting an uphill battle?

  20. jhf says:

    See? Being perpetually irritated will make you fucking immortal.

    Finally, an explaination for Castro.