not quite tentacle porn, but close

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53 Responses:

  1. thunderbox says:

    The first picture on that "Quit Complaining About Your Job!!" page - looking down from the antenna - makes me feel queasy just looking at the still image.

  2. gfish says:

    I'm sure it's porn to someone.

  3. crasch says:

    Killer whales are Jewish?

    • I'm pretty sure foreskins are an exclusively human trait.

      • suppafly says:

        I'm pretty sure that you are wrong in that assumption.

        • stoda says:

          I'm pretty sure he's right, actually. Foreskins are the remnant of our sheaths... which we don't have anymore.

          Though if you happen to know examples otherwise, I'd love to know 'em.

          • suppafly says:

            I'm at work, so I'm not going to go looking up links, but I'm sure wikipedia would have something.

            • stoda says:

              And everything you read in Wikipedia is true!

              Wiki does say that all animals (except monotremes) have them, but the article talks exclusively about the human form. I suspect my comment holds true - in animals, the foreskin is the sheath.

              • Exactly. I think the wikipedia says "all mammals" probably in a lame, decontextualized attempt to distinguish mamallian genitalia from reptillian (etc.) cloacae. But there's a huge difference between a sheath (Brian: "How do you think I feel? Mine goes inside me when I stand up.") and a foreskin. A sheath covers the whole deal; a foreskin only covers the head. Humans evolved them probably around the time we started walking erect, so to speak.

                Like, on that orca, the so-called "foreskin" is way the heck down at the body, making the photo seem rather more /dg/ than /y/.

      • elegantelbow says:

        I can't imagine why you would think that.

      • duskwuff says:

        Absolutely not.

        (and I'd know)

        • tjic says:

          I'm amused that there are five comments in the "is too / is not" sub-thread, and not a single person tried to defeat the uniqueness argument by - you know - giving a counter-example.

          What's that odor?

          Does anyone else smell that?

          I swear to God, I smell Usenet.

          • duskwuff says:

            OK, fine. Cats, dogs, and horses all have structures analogous to the human foreskin. That counter-example enough for you?

            • I know from personal experience that a horse does not have a "foreskin". This argument, speaking of usenet, is not about whether or not humans are the only animals to have foreskin, but whether or not a "sheath" is a "foreskin".

              IOW, STFU. HTH, HAND.

    • kroker says:

      of course, it follows naturally from the assumption that mankind is set to rule all other... err.

  4. sarx_phagos says:

    I don't know about you, but just imagine if your piece was that big.~~Nick

  5. mandy_moon says:

    They call that "expressing" the penis. In vet hospitals we're taught how to do it so we can place a urinary catheter.

    But I see no catheter, so I think the guy in the picture is just doing it for fun.

    • vimsig says:

      He is prepared with a plastic bag to catch any give-aways - looks professional enough to my eyes.

      • ritcey says:

        Am I a prude for thinking I'd really want a pair of gloves when doing that job? And a face mask. And maybe some waldos...

    • I'd agree, it seems like he's hiding his face so no one sees him laughing.

    • mortaine says:

      Well, he looks like he's examining it, you know, kind of clinically?

      But then again, he might well be going for fun, there.

    • defenestr8r says:

      i met a guy who masturbated whales for a living once. it was quite the bomb for the random stranger to drop into a loud conversation about how many hands it would take....

      • mandy_moon says:

        Haha, now that's lucky guy.

        He has an immediate conversation gambit at any party, for always and ever.

      • gregv says:

        Not to be a perv, but how many hands WOULD it take? I'm looking at that guy with the plastic bag thinking "okay, now what?"

        Wasn't there a segment on the Daily Show ages ago about the guy who had to get semen samples from elephants? They said it couldn't be done manually so they showed him getting out the shoulder length glove and massaging it's prostate. Um, yeah. So that's why I'm wondering what the hell he's planning to do, because I don't think the obvious way would work.

  6. telecart says:

    whoa. O.o

    *Keanu*

  7. lordshell says:

    Great Googlimoogli!

    Caption:

    "Aww, man! Next time I'm getting my job requirements printed out ahead of time!"

    Or alternately:

    "Giggity! Giggity! Giggity!"

  8. gutbloom says:

    Some cetaceans, like dolphins, have a prehensile penis. I'm very jealous and have written about what a boon a prehensile penis would be for humankind, but even I, in my insane ramblings, hadn't considered a prehensile penis of that size. That trainer better be wary. That orca could easily wrap his whalemeat around the human's leg and drag that guy to the bottom of the briny... briny pool that is.

  9. bitpuddle says:

    How does one get a whale to do that?

    Actually, I don't want to know.

  10. baconmonkey says:

    Icelandic phallus museum
    http://www.time.com/time/europe/webonly/europe/2000/08/penis.html
    http://www.ismennt.is/not/phallus/ens.htm

    Rorqual whales the penis can be 10 ft. long with a diameter of up to 1 ft (no pictures)
    http://www.world-sex-records.com/sex-298.htm

    bar stools made from whale penis leather
    http://www.materialexplorer.com/336.0.html

    you can buy a fossilized whale penis...
    http://pages.tias.com/11752/PictPage/1922528629.html

    ...or a whale penis dildo
    http://www.zoofur.com/orca.html

  11. greatbiggary says:

    Off topic, OR IS IT?: interchangeable rectal dummies.

    As they say in the rectal exam communities, "spread the love."

  12. http://www.acme.com/jef/photos/25apr2000_albany_dump/mvc-0414.html

    When I saw this it took me a minute to understand what the lump was, since for some reason I expected a dead whale to be right side up.

  13. omni_ferret says:

    Two things:

    First: Chuck Norris isn't hung like that whale. That whale is hung like Chuck Norris.

    Second: It reminds me of Christopher Moore's Fluke, specifically a scene which I apparently had repressed fairly well until now...

  14. baconmonkey says:

    supposedly there's video of an octopus attacking a mini-sub. I was too lazy to dig hard for it in the article.
    http://sympatico.msn.cbc.ca/story/science/national/2006/01/27/octopus060127.html

    • spoonyfork says:

      Here's the video of which you speak. I'm not so sure I'd qualify the event as an "attack". It looks more like a vicious "approach". At any rate, the little ROV kicks out a whole lot of bukkake.

  15. savemejebas says:

    ...for when you can't get your hands on the real thing