my year in twelve cut-and-paste sentences

Oh no, it's meme-o-riffic!

January:  "I can assure you that having a view of the outside world, even if the edge of the world is only four feet away, is a dramatic improvement."
February:"I still can't see out my window, but now it has spots."
March:"Jesus, a rabbi, Colonel Sanders, Hunter S. Thompson and a slutty Hawaiian girl walk into a bar, and then the gorilla says..."
April:"When you get chocolate syrup on your camera lens, it does not wipe off nearly as easily as whatever is in GWAR spooge."
May:"He hits that microwave and looks at you like 'this is how you hit a fucking microwave!'"
June:"That was, in fact, the final straw."
July:"A Cultural Event For Silicon Valley and Wall Street!"
August:"For some inexplicable reason, one of the contest judges decided to hike up her dress and pee on our sidewalk."
September:"Dear industrial music, We have to break up now."
October:"Did you know that all this crap was hidden under the concrete slabs in the sidewalk?"
November:"I enjoyed the show, but I'm highly conflicted."
December:...I got nothing.
Tags: ,

6 Responses:

  1. msjen says:

    Is this your first meme?

    You should get a commemorative ornament or something.

  2. Just go recursive on December's ass with, "Oh no, it's meme-o-riffic!"

  3. I would think that after a year like that, you'd want to take December off.