I thought it was obvious that this was my code for, "What, you mean this bullshit progressive-house track with MC Monotone droning on over it? It sucks ass and I don't know or care."
Turns out it wasn't obvious: purple_b ended up buying every VNV Nation album looking for the song or songs he kept asking me about!
And with that, I bring you the most awesome idea in the history of awesome ideas! an "EBM Party" which will feature only songs by VNV Nation, Covenant, Icon of Coil, Apikachu Berserk and Assemblage VNV! The comments are priceless:
- "That's damn close to a nightmare come true."
"Don't those five bands get beat to death in every club already?"
"I would pay good money to see those bands beaten to death at a club."
"It is negative people like you that continue to drag the entire goth/industrial into the ground."
"But think how easy it will be to beat match!"
"It's a bold move of you to make hosting a night like that"
"Dude, what the hell are you talking about? Playing the safest possible music is bold?"
I thought that the whole point of the goth industrial scene was negative people.
Fuck you, clown! Fuck you!
holy crap!!! Bunnyhop cover icon!!!
I think a record review I wrote is in that issue.
Whoa! I thought that issue got pulped!
But yes, you got it!
The issue (actually, just the cover) did get pulped eventually, but only after it shipped. They could only recall what was on the shelves. I think I have a copy somewhere still at my parents'... unless they tossed it, god forbid.
V. cool.
All is full of
that's so awesome
that is seriously full of the best threads of ALL TIME.
breaking up is so, SO hard to DO!
Seriously!
I find that people who like to spread negativity just want everyone to be as miserable themselves.
Actually, I thought it was just because we like to make ourselves laugh at the expense of others :)
BUTTON!
also, DAMN! this night is NOT when i'll be in t.o.! weeping commences! must follow this dude for TEH HAPS when i get up there!
Spreading negativity is fun.
amazing.
Apikachu Berserk
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
oh man... that's awesome.
(I actually like Apop... that just cracks me up!)
ohno if you're alternative enough to enjoy that comment you're like automatically not cool enough to handle real music.
go home.
what is this "real music" of which you speak?
This club night is proof that there is no god. Also, it makes the baby jesus cry.
Ha! I moderate the <lj user=toronto> community and that asshole posts his shit parties there all the time. And no one goes.
Maybe he thinks this will help, but I doubt it.
Small world.
Yeah, no kidding.
But really, given the sad state of goth culture in Toronto, this is no surprise.
...the sad state of goth culture...
How else should it be?
Every "goth scene" is, and always has been, just a bunch of nerds with Magic cards and a penchant for The Wrong Kind Of Industrial (Rammstein? Really?) who enjoy playing dress-up the first weekend of every month. Seriously.
I mean, yeah, I love "goth music", but their music is not "goth music". There hasn't been any of that for a good 15 years now. (FWIW, it's not really EBM either.)
"Every "goth scene" is, and always has been, just a bunch of nerds with Magic cards and a penchant for The Wrong Kind Of Industrial (Rammstein? Really?) who enjoy playing dress-up the first weekend of every month. Seriously.
OH NO HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?
Even though it's utterly true
"Turns out it wasn't obvious: purple_b ended up buying every VNV Nation album looking for the song or songs he kept asking me about!"
It was probably Wolfshite.
God really hates that sodomite!
Aww, poor <lj user="purple_b">. That is truly sad. Spending all that money on VNV.
I really hope Bill Leeb is happy at the misery he has wrought upon the world. Thanks a lot, Mindphaser.
Bill Leeb ruined my life!
I want my money back from bill leeb for too many poor music choices in my youth.
It was so hard to not buy it though, he kept changing the damn band name on me.
Dude, resist the command. No more money for Bill.
He had more side projects than God.
I was referring to that now defunct website "Bill Leeb ruined my Life" which showed ghostly Bill Leebs attacking people. Very silly.
Al Jorgensen had more.
but you're missing the other sound alike bands:
beborn beton, colony 5, T.O.Y., er and some other ones that I can't be bothered to remember
Particularly charming is a song called "hemoglobian" by beborn beton in which they sing that just like it's spelled, it rather ruins the uber-gothiness of it making it a very funny song about drinking blood by some not native english singers.
Oh, so is that what "EBM" implies?
I've been confused by a lot of the buzzwords used on the big shitty EnFlyer / EmailBrain / VIPStudent.com flyers that get spammed to me on a daily basis...
"EBM", "Electro-Clash", "Darkwave"... it's all Newspeak to me.
You should go play with Ishkur
WERD.
"EBM" -- a term invented by Front 242, who aren't awful -- stands for "Electronic Body Music." (Yeah, it's dumb, but they're Belgian or something, so it's forgiveable.) It's really a very specific genre of music. Very blip-bloop-bang.
VNV Nation are not EBM. They're like, um, Crap or whatever. Music for hair gel ads.
No, EBM means minimalist, bleepy, analog-synthy music from (mostly) Belgium between 1981 and 1988. The compilation "This Is Electronic Body Music" closed the book on the genre; nobody makes it any more.
"Darkwave" means "Cocteau Twins and bands who ripped them off", but there's a recent tendency for people to use it to describe anyone who wears black.
"Coldwave" means "industrial rock", or sometimes "industrial metal".
"Electro-Clash" means "bands from the late 90s basing their entire careers on repeatedly covering 'Warm Leatherette'."
What the five bands mentioned in the flyer do is not "EBM" by any stretch of the imagination; objectively, it's either "progressive house" or "epic house", but because the people who make it wear black and don't go to raves, their fans feel bad calling it that. If you must call it something else, the description you're looking for is "90s synthpop".
People invent sub-genres when existing genres adequately describe it already because it makes them feel "elite".
Musical hairsplitting makes me want to cry. I recently heard a new term: Hellelectro. What the fuck kind of name for something is that?
Personally I like Robopop.
Musical hairsplitting makes me want to cry
i myself get a pretty strong dissociation reaction. much like when WoW is discussed around me, when i actually LEAVE my body.
And let's not forget gear. Oh, the discussions of gear I have endured.
::blank stare::
wha--were you saying something?
Oh, my giddy aunt. O_O
PS: Choon.
while my musical selection is pretty varied, I will be one of the few that admits to liking them. Different music for different moods.
"Assemblage VNV"?
Don't you mean Assemblage 23?
Hee! Nice unintentional portmanteau. It would've been good for the original joke: "I don't know, Assemblage VNV."
HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE JOKE!
I'm going to go sulk now.
I don't know any of those bands (at least not by name) but I love the story! I tend to be asked similar questions, but whatever band I name, my friend'll say, no way, it's not them... and since they are right, I just shrug.
SWORDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you jwz for the best laugh i've had all day, it took my mind off my hangover.
holy shit that was funny.