90 Reasons to Hate the 90s

And now, a little rant full of bitterness and hate!
That 90s Sham, part 1, and 2.
Current Music: Lamb -- B-Line ♬

28 Responses:

  1. sjn says:

    I think they managed to hit just about everything. Although Iwouldsay at this point the90's, and even the 00's has been the decades of "every social group has found a nitch and they are sticking with it no matter what". It's as if it's all out there now, and you just move from cliche to cliche.

    Oh, so you want to be a neo-hippy-conservative-gun-nut-pro-choice-guy who listens to 70's and 80's hair bands?


    they meet at _________ bar every wednsday.

  2. redleaf8 says:

    Man, I didn't even know The Exile was still around. It's weird seeing Matt Taibbi on Comedy Central these days and editing Rolling Stone.

    Dig that Livejournal reference (#82) toward the end. Ohh irony. It's almost as good as hating lower case spelling (#37) but calling your paper the eXile. Or pointing out the sham that media critics (#60) are.

    Glad to see they're still around though. Good stuff.

  3. omni_ferret says:

    #1 should be "Commoditizing authenticity," not just "authenticity." Although it seems to argue that any popular feelings you felt were obviously not really authentic, & I don't think that's true.

  4. starjewel says:


    Just the other day someone told me they were straight-edge and I stifled a laugh. Some 90s fads may never die...

  5. kespernorth says:

    But he thinks that "Pretty Hate Machine" is a band.

  6. ammutbite says:

    I still believe that the best days of eXile were back at the start when the two main writers/editors/reporters had Ed Limonoff writing columns for them, and started the usage of tweak amongst the glittering youth of Moscow elite kids, which has since moved on to acquire the nom'de guerre "jefff" across teh entire geographic vastness of Russia... since "speed" is the sound of the russian acronym of AIDS.As they say on the Russian forums -- KG-AM!

  7. tregoweth says:

    We need reasons to hate the 90s?

  8. soleklypse says:

    We weren't at war with anyone.
    Programmers were employed.
    And the biggest concern about our president was his sex life.
    Good times, if you ask me.

  9. inkerx says:

    Hey, wow, commentary on Friends, Twin Peaks and the OJ Trial. FINALLY.

    There's nothing more 90s than couch potato cultural critics.

  10. substitute says:

    There's a lot to hate about the 90s. The first half of it was a grindingly painful recession. Workers lost their benefits in that decade, and a lot of us lost our jobs. We had a major race riot and then nothing changed. The publicity/media juggernaut finally got perfectly synchronized so that you could look at a row of magazines at the newsstand and see the same face on each one. The dot com era was a Gilded Age of hype and billions for the privileged. Mega corporation finally and completely ate and shat out popular music into our mouths. There were two attempted genocides, both partly successful. We had a pointless war.

    It was the decade in this country that the last of the Democratic Party's left wing was hacked off and it became Eisenhower's Republicans. We elected a Democratic president whose major accomplishment was fucking over welfare recipients. My country turned into a Talk Radio Nation of paranoid angry white guys who celebrated every kind of disgusting wickedness as "un PC".

    This piece is Snarky Pop Culture Smackdown #8, a standard template for arts & entertainment publications. If these guys would like to see what was really shitty about the 90s, I could take them on a Ghost of Decades Past tour. Since they obviously spent the whole time watching MTV, going to parties, and telling each other how much they liked Twin Peaks, I think they were probably privileged enough not to notice or care about the actual reasons the 90s should be mourned.

    Also, the pop music blew really bad.

  11. evan says:

    This is great. I take special pleasure in LJ getting a passing reference in #82.

  12. WOW. you weren't kidding about these guys being mo' bitter than all of us put together! i think i need my daily dose of sunshine/puppies/kittens/unicorns now to shake *those* nasties off. but totally worth reading.

    most notable parts:

    Every self-respecting sensitive New Age guy was supposed to have a story about the conflicting emotions he felt while watching his lumpy girlfriend get it from behind by a hairy stranger


    and oh god. GOATEES. i'd forgotten about them.

    and my only quibble point:
    embracing heroin chic is *retarded*.

  13. vacindak says:

    The brilliance of it all is that insult is the number one way to artificially distance yourself from those you criticize.

    IE, yeah, yeah, eXile thinks they're cool and all cuz they totally see how lame we all were. Except, of course, that telling other people that they're lame is... yeah... kinda lame.

    (Note, that my accusation of lameness probably also makes me lame. Especially since I'm doing it inside a parenthetical statement. How meta. The cycle of lameness will never end.)

    And as luck would have it, "That 00's Sham" will likely begin with:

    1. Trying too hard not to be guilty of any of the previous 90 shams

    The Sham: Last decade, we called you all out for your incredible lameness, and now... look, you've gone and made us do it again. The very worst offense though, was trying to use "That 90's Sham" as a guidebook for how to be awesome. What part of, "You cannot become awesome by intentionally trying to be awesome," don't you understand?