today in video game, panty, and movie news...

I don't even play video games that often, and it's usually the same three over and over again, but I'm definitely adding the video game blog Inverted Castle (invrtdcstle_rss) to my reading list, since I now find myself obliged to repost, like, half of it:

Line Kill Spirits:

a 3D fighting game that features little girls beating up on each other; nothing new there. The kicker, however, is that any damage you do to your opponent will slowly regenerate unless... wait for it... you take a picture of her panties. Yes. A fighting game where panty-shots are the core mechanic. You don't believe me, do you? Then watch the VIDEO. That's it. The Japanese are done. They can now return to planet Japania, leaving all the people of Earth horribly confused and scarred for life.
Dead or Alive:
If someone were to ask me to make a low-budget feature movie out of Dead or Alive, here's what I'd do: I'd get a bunch of B-list porn stars to play the leads, because they'd have enough flexibility and stamina to do fake kung-fu, and wouldn't be ashamed to play characters best known for their gravity-defying floppy tits. I'd film it in China, where everything is cheap, and crews who have spent their entire lives making kung-fu movies are a dime a dozen. I'd include as much "clever partial nudity" as I could possibly show and still retain the PG-13 rating necessary to draw in the 13-year-olds the games are aimed toward. Then I'd find some German company to finance the whole thing because, as Uwe Boll proves, they'll throw money at anything with a video game tie-in. I've heard it's actually some sort of tax write-off for them, but never bothered to learn the details. Trailer.
I thought she fought Nazis... maybe these are medieval Nazis?
Guy 1: Tomb Raider is really popular! Let's make a game with a hot chick in it!
Guy 2: Yeah, but let's make her hotter... like a red head!
Guy 3: Yeah! And a hooker... um...
Guy 2: A hooker assassin!
Guy 3: A vampire hooker assassin!
Guy 1: (barely able to speak over the giggling) Who's bisexual!
All 3 Guys: And she fights Nazis!!

According to Ain't it Cool News, the Bloodrayne movie was cast only 2 weeks before filming started, Michael Madsen spent the entire production drunk, and most of the extras were Romanian whores. I can't wait to hear the commentary track on this one! Trailer.

Equal parts Katamari Damacy and Vicodin:

Cloud is a very mellow, very artsy game that was created by a group from the USC School of Cinema and Television on a grant from Electronic Arts. You fly around the sky, attracting clouds to you and mushing them together to make bigger clouds, which you then either "paint" into shapes, or push against "pollution" clouds to create rain and lightning. No enemies, no time limit, no chance of losing, which makes it more of a "toy" than a "game". It is, however, very very restful, and I fell right asleep after playing it before bed last night. I recommend that you do the same tonight, but by all means do not try to operate heavy machinery after playing.
[jwz: this sounds awesome, but it's PC only...]
Giantology:
Giantology is a viral marketing blog for Shadow of the Colossus, where they posted their "tsunami giant video". They also link to another site with pictures of the "fish colossus", and another site that looks like it's shaping up to be the "flying snake" colossus. On October 18th, the release date of the game, the site went dead, but now they're back up again, with another video of Russians digging up the "mer-cow" ("lobs-taur"?) colossus in Siberia.
[jwz: also Inca giant.]
Scene missing! A video that used to be embedded in this post has disappeared. If you know of a copy of this video that is still accessible, please mail me so that I can update the link.
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