Domino is an incoherent train-wreck. If you've seen the trailer, the whole movie looks and sounds like that: it's the same washed-out look that Tony Scott used in some of the more surreal parts of Man On Fire, but this time the whole movie is like that. Also, the stuttering, echo-delayed voiceovers are also like that, through the whole movie. It's a cute trick once or twice, but not for two hours. It's a cute trick once or twice, but not for two hours.

The plot, such as it is, is about a bank robbery run by idiots. They end up dismembering somebody because of basically a pun. There's an interminable Jerry Springer bit -- it was probably ten minutes long but it felt like hours -- that has absolutely nothing to do with the plot of the movie. Like, someone thought, "ha ha, I wrote this funny thing about how Jerry Springer is funny, let's just stick that in here too." It is not, of course, funny. At all.

And yet, this movie couldn't decide whether it wanted to be a stupid slapstick comedy, or a bleak look at some fucked up peoples' lives, or a music video, or just an excuse to watch Keira Knightley pout for two hours. They really should have just gone with that last one.

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18 Responses:

  1. chaoset says:

    I found it entertaining, but I didn't pay to see it.

    As for Miss Knightley, is it just me or is she trying her damnedest to be Winona Ryder?

    • jwz says:

      I guess the position is available.

      • violentbloom says:

        well she is hot, and so far not wacked out on prescription drugs and getting caught for petty theft...

        So is it worth seeing, only for the sake of watching Kiera?
        I had figured already there was really no other reason to see it. Does she get naked?

  2. loosechanj says:

    I can't wait to see this.

  3. saintnobody says:

    supposedly the real domino harvey was pissed that the movie was either downplaying or comletely ignoring the fact that she's a lesbian.

    then she killed herself and they reshot the end of the movie to include that. i'm not sure if they used the footage or not, though, since there's no way i'm going to see that piece of shit.

    • cwilllu says:

      Hmm. Downplaying, no, they didn't mention it in passing.

      Completely ignoring: well, they almost got away with it, but no.

      What they did was make it clear that she was straight (spoiler 'and will miss her man who is in heaven'), and then finished it off calling another chick a lesbian. Perhaps one was supposed to take the comment as a come-on, but no, we have to take into account the previous spoiler: must be careful not to offend the christians you see, we're already treading on dangerous ground.

    • ciphergoth says:

      I thought she was bi?

      • sketchthecow says:

        Yes, Domino officially was bisexual.

        She didn't like the movie as she knew of it, but then again she sold the rights, so there you go.

  4. hafnir says:

    I told <lj user="kyronfive"> over the weekend, every time anyone mentions anything about this movie, even the things that are supposed to be selling points, it makes me not want to see it even more. She then tried to prove me wrong, and instead of course she reinforced it.

    Anyway, thanks for keeping the trend going!

  5. marmoset says:

    All these weak films are just filler until this arrives.

  6. gytterberg says:

    Based on trailers and reviews, I predict this will become the new Boondock Saints. Ugh. (Or maybe this will. Heh.)

    I like the note about the real Domino's suicide from IMDB:

    Domino Harvey, the inspiration for this movie, was found unresponsive in the bathtub in her Los Angeles home on the evening of 27 June 2005, dying, at age 35, in the hospital that day of an accidental overdose of the painkiller, Fentanyl.

    Hard to get any more weaselly than that. Fentanyl isn't really something you accidentally overdose on - it's morphine on crack. If they let you have it, you're either about to die anyway, or they make sure you know what you're doing with it.

  7. transiit says:

    The lesser-chain of coffeehouse that I regular every day installed big ol' plasma screens a few months back, that typically scroll stock quotes, E! news headlines, MSNBC news headlines, and local traffic reports against the edge of the screen. In the middle they reserve space for various sundry cable network advertising promos, and they're so precise that their real-time "" traffic map nearly misses the city I'm actually buying coffee in.

    That said, every single time I've been in the last two weeks, they've been showing the Domino trailer.

    If that isn't a warning against seeing the flick, I don't know what is.

    From behind the orange curtain....


  8. inkbot says:

    maybe the real domino saw some "dailies" and just.couldn't.take it.anymore.

    i have no idea what was actually going on with her, but it seems terribly strange--or planned. who helps folks make a movie about his/her life and then off his/her self before it's wrapped? either she was terminal anyway, or this is a terrible case of--when the "idea" of "punk rawk" goes terribly astray. it's not punk to kill yourself; it's stupid. and even worse, it's final. you don't get to grow up and change your mind...

  9. kyronfive says:

    Why pay money for the movie when you just download the lame lap dance scene on the Internet?

  10. myoldself says:

    I suspect that there are now more parodies of Jerry Springer on TV and in movies than there are people who actually watch the show. Didn't everyone quit watching it when the fights were revealed to be a fraud seven or eight years ago?