Yay, Onion!
The Onion just put their entire archive back online! They used to expire it after two months. You may remember them from such hits as: "Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'"; "'I Provide Office Solutions,' Says Pitiful Little Man"; and "U.S. Techno-Industrial Base Eroding Due To Foreign Competition".
Tags: big brother, firstperson, pranks, www
Current Music: Kate Bush -- Under Ice ♬
25 Responses:
This is quite possibly the best news I've heard in a long time.
I have missed my Smoove B and Herbert Kornfeld.
I'm totally naming my first born "Baby Prince H Tha Stone Col' Dopest Biz-ook-kizeepin' Muthafuckin' Badass Supastar Kornfeld Tha Second."
True story: in 1997, before I had WWW access, someone posted the "US Techno-Industrial Base Eroding" text to a local dialup BBS. I had never heard of the Onion but I fell in love with their brand of satire immediately (it sure beats Dave Barry columns.)
I think I missed it when it first ran in the Onion. I'm sure that I've never seen "Orrin Hatch" and "Skinny Puppy" in the same paragraph before, ever.
Reading that 2001 story about the "Nightmare of Peace & Prosperity" -- it was funny at the time, but doesn't it kind of slide into just plain sad that it was such an accurate prediction?
Somewhere, a few years ago, I saw a copy of that where someone had annotated it with links to news articles for every bit that had come true. I will leave it to the LazyWeb to look that up.
Somewhere, a few years ago, I saw a copy of that where someone had annotated it with links to news articles for every bit that had come true. I will leave it to the LazyWeb to look that up.
Yessir!
http://chak.org/pages/onion/bush_nightmare.html
That needs to be updated. There are at least a dozen more links that could be added.
I was thinking the same thing while reading it. But it's not just sad, it's also quite unnerving.
"What wonderful news", says the man who constantly mentions he doesn't own a television.
I don't think it's is there entire archive... I searched for the classic "Walken on LA" article and it came back with a few unrelated results...
Not sure what is there and what isn't, but perhaps it has something to do with the books they've published?
The search seems pretty broken. For example, searching for 'neckbelts' doesn't find Chrysler Halts Production Of Neckbelts, but searching for 'chrysler' does.
Now all we need are complete archives of The Weekly Week, instead of just that partial archive.
Admittedly, they do have the best Weekly Week article ever, "Bilingual Education Under Fire In Boston; Prop. 43 would end special classes in semaphore.
yay, the trouser downsizing is finally over!
"Reagan Pyramid Nears Completion"
Hopefully they were able to find enough slaves to complete this important project!
Sorry this is off-topic, but I felt you should be made aware of the new rape-preventing female condoms invented in South Africa.
Freedoms Curtailed In Defense Of Liberty
So happy to be able to link people to one of my favorite Onion stories ever...
Hrm. They don't seem to have the one about 'quirky canadians' with their capital "Canada City". That had to be from like 1998, though.
Here's mine: A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again (and priceless graphic).
Couldn't find the one about the remote control remote control. One of my faves.
Found it - but not using their search engine:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39226
If I had to pick a few from those drug-addled college years:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30189
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34216
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30420
m.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33770
An old favourite, always brings a smile.