25 Responses:

1. lars_larsen says:

   14 years ago at 9:52 pm

   This is quite possibly the best news I've heard in a long time.

   • citizenx says:

     14 years ago at 1:56 am

     I have missed my Smoove B and Herbert Kornfeld.

     • lars_larsen says:

       14 years ago at 12:50 pm

       I'm totally naming my first born "Baby Prince H Tha Stone Col' Dopest Biz-ook-kizeepin' Muthafuckin' Badass Supastar Kornfeld Tha Second."

2. relaxing says:

   14 years ago at 10:16 pm

   True story: in 1997, before I had WWW access, someone posted the "US Techno-Industrial Base Eroding" text to a local dialup BBS. I had never heard of the Onion but I fell in love with their brand of satire immediately (it sure beats Dave Barry columns.)

   • mister_borogove says:

     14 years ago at 2:04 am

     I think I missed it when it first ran in the Onion. I'm sure that I've never seen "Orrin Hatch" and "Skinny Puppy" in the same paragraph before, ever.

3. fatcaterpillar says:

   14 years ago at 10:54 pm

   Reading that 2001 story about the "Nightmare of Peace & Prosperity" -- it was funny at the time, but doesn't it kind of slide into just plain sad that it was such an accurate prediction?

   • jwz says:

     14 years ago at 5:27 am

     Somewhere, a few years ago, I saw a copy of that where someone had annotated it with links to news articles for every bit that had come true. I will leave it to the LazyWeb to look that up.

     • tkil says:

       14 years ago at 6:51 am

       Somewhere, a few years ago, I saw a copy of that where someone had annotated it with links to news articles for every bit that had come true. I will leave it to the LazyWeb to look that up.

       Yessir!

       http://chak.org/pages/onion/bush_nightmare.html

       • _the_deuce_ says:

         14 years ago at 7:41 am

         That needs to be updated. There are at least a dozen more links that could be added.

   • coldacid says:

     14 years ago at 2:15 am

     I was thinking the same thing while reading it. But it's not just sad, it's also quite unnerving.

4. nugget says:

   14 years ago at 11:14 pm

   "What wonderful news", says the man who constantly mentions he doesn't own a television.

5. grahams says:

   14 years ago at 11:28 pm

   I don't think it's is there entire archive... I searched for the classic "Walken on LA" article and it came back with a few unrelated results...

   Not sure what is there and what isn't, but perhaps it has something to do with the books they've published?

   • otak says:

     14 years ago at 12:29 am

     The search seems pretty broken. For example, searching for 'neckbelts' doesn't find Chrysler Halts Production Of Neckbelts, but searching for 'chrysler' does.

6. spike says:

   14 years ago at 12:21 am

   Praise the Lr0d and pass the hyperlinks!

   Now all we need are complete archives of The Weekly Week, instead of just that partial archive.

   Admittedly, they do have the best Weekly Week article ever, "Bilingual Education Under Fire In Boston; Prop. 43 would end special classes in semaphore.
   

7. bdu says:

   14 years ago at 2:08 am

   yay, the trouser downsizing is finally over!

8. strspn says:

   14 years ago at 3:33 am

   

9. crosley_bendix says:

   14 years ago at 5:09 am

   "Reagan Pyramid Nears Completion"
   Hopefully they were able to find enough slaves to complete this important project!

10. nsfinch says:

    14 years ago at 6:03 am

    Sorry this is off-topic, but I felt you should be made aware of the new rape-preventing female condoms invented in South Africa.

11. tkil says:

    14 years ago at 6:40 am

    Freedoms Curtailed In Defense Of Liberty

    "We live in a land governed by plurality of opinion in an open electorate, but we are now under siege by adherents of a fundamentalist, totalitarian belief system that tolerates no dissent," Attorney General John Ashcroft said. "Our most basic American values are threatened by an enemy opposed to everything for which our flag stands. That is why I call upon all Americans to submit to wiretaps, e-mail monitoring, and racial profiling. Now is not the time to allow simplistic, romantic notions of 'civil liberties' and 'equal protection under the law' to get in the way of our battle with the enemies of freedom."

    So happy to be able to link people to one of my favorite Onion stories ever...

12. rambletron3000 says:

    14 years ago at 8:00 am

    Hrm. They don't seem to have the one about 'quirky canadians' with their capital "Canada City". That had to be from like 1998, though.

13. 205guy says:

    14 years ago at 8:27 am

    Here's mine: A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again (and priceless graphic).

14. aris1234 says:

    14 years ago at 9:13 am

    Couldn't find the one about the remote control remote control. One of my faves.

    • aris1234 says:

      14 years ago at 9:18 am

      Found it - but not using their search engine:

      http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39226

15. michaelkvance says:

    14 years ago at 10:38 am

    If I had to pick a few from those drug-addled college years:

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30189
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34216
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30420

    m.

16. carbonunit says:

    14 years ago at 12:48 pm

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33770

    An old favourite, always brings a smile.