HOUSTON -- On Tuesday, Halliburton received a $110 million no-bid government contract to pry the gold fillings from the mouths of deceased disaster victims in the New Orleans-Gulf Coast area. "We are proud to serve the government in this time of crisis by recovering valuable resources from the wreckage of this deadly storm," said David J. Lesar, Halliburton's president. "The gold we recover from the human rubble of Katrina can be used to make fighter-jet electronics, supercomputer chips, inflation-proof A-grade investments, and luxury yachting watches."
oh, the oniony goodness
Halliburton Gets Contract To Pry Gold Fillings From New Orleans Corpses' Teeth
Tags: doomed, grim meathook future, katrina, teeth
Current Music: Voodou -- For Thyne Enemy (mine mix) ♬
14 Responses:
WHA----???
Oh, the ONion! had me for a sec! >}:-D
He had me for about 2 sentences :)
Scary how plausible that is.
I hate when I have to check to make sure that's the Onion.
Ohhhh, seconded.
Today's Onion, tomorrow's Washington Post.
[expression of shock]
[discovery of onion]
Have you posted this yet?
Tongue-eating bug found in fish
Christ almighty I hate those things. Growing up in Australia, we called them "Doctors", for some reason or other. A real pain if you were catch-and-release fishing, as you really have to kill these things on sight, and there's no way to do so without killing the fish as well.
Open your mouth and say "ahh."
Thank God someone is finding use from the human rubble of Katrina!
They remind me of this.
Dear Onion, please stop exploring my plausibility double-takes. Thanks, everyone on <lj user="jwz">'s friends list.