every sperm is sacred

Pope tells Catholics to multiply

Pope Benedict XVI told Catholics to have more babies "for the good of society," saying that some countries were being sapped of energy because of low birth rates.

"Having children is a gift that brings life and well-being to society," he told about 15,000 people at his weekly audience in the Vatican, to which he arrived by helicopter from his summer residence southeast of Rome. He said the decline in the number of births "deprives some nations of freshness and energy and of hopes for the future incarnate in children."

The pope also spoke of "the security, the stability and the force of a numerous family."

"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids," he did not add.

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27 Responses:

  1. xenogram says:

    Isn't it time you learned to stop worrying and love the war on terror?

    • relaxing says:

      The Pope Says It's OK to Breed, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Rhythm Method

      • taffer says:

        My wife was raised Catholic, and her dad (who's Anglican, actually) wanted us to get married in a Catholic church. No problem, but we have to go to these "marriage classes" put on by the church. As a heathen (I was raised Lutheran), I find them extremely boring, except for the awesome class on birth control.

        Well, not really birth control, but some couples who came in to tell us about how awesome the rhythm method was.

        Apparently the rhythm method makes you really frisky, since all of the couples who talked at this class had a minimum of four kids. One coupld had six. Insanity!

        Also, they all looked at me like I'd shouted "Hail, Satan!" when I suggested adoption if you really wanted kids but were having fertility problems. I'm still not sure what the "right" response was (probably praying, or titheing, or a trip to the Vatican, I dunno).

  2. babynutcase says:

    This has always been the reason I have had no respect for the pope. He is a madman bent on destroying as much of the Earth as he possibly can through his evil influnce on human population.

    • simmonmt says:

      He's going to destroy the earth by trying to get (mostly) Western European nations back to or above their replacement rate?

      • Unfortunately, it's the Third World nations that are actually the ones listening. You know, the ones where they really don't need more people competing for resources? People stopped listening to this religious BS in Europe a long time ago (thankfully).

        If the Western European nations are below their replacement rate, all they have to do is open up immigration and *poof*! New people to contribute to the economy! Unless, you know, it offends them that maybe those people are a bit darker-skinned. (rolls eyes)

        • 1eyedkunt says:

          exactly. the pope's an idiot.

          Western countries' low birth rates can be easily made up for by immigration, and are balancing out the high birthrates in 3rd world countries. given the overpoulation crisis we face, anyone who advocates for higher birthrates is stupid, racist, overly nationalistic, or some combination thereof.

          • jsl32 says:

            it is already happening. birth rates are lowering everywhere. it's idiotic to act like there will always be some magic pool of people over yonder to emigrate and plump up the populations of western nations.

            • 1eyedkunt says:

              what happens when the brown people stop having all those kids?

              we stop overpopulating the world and stretching its resources beyold all limits. we stop suffocating ourselves in our own shit. that's a good thing.

              • jsl32 says:

                i wish people would stop using that fairy story. it is exhausting and another example of white blindness and elitist privilege.

                it's not the 'overpopulated' countries full of brown people using up all the resources. it's america and europe.

          • whittles says:

            While I don't disagree in the least, I imagine specifically wanting a growth in the Catholic population was a part of his intent.

        • sukeban says:

          I'd even hazard the guess that it's not the dark-skinned part but the *muslim* part that he doesn't like -_-;

  3. talkingtrees says:

    What the Pope really meant was that the number of people tired of putting up with him has declined and that he needs more brainwashed people.

  4. stenz says:

    sapped of energy
    "Having children is a gift that brings life and well-being to society,"

    When he says "energy" and "well-being", doesn't he really mean "taxes" and "tithes"?

    • taffer says:

      I'd also like to point out that having a child in the house saps you of energy faster than anything else I've tried.

  5. purple_b says:

    The world is desperately over populated and he is handing out Barry White albums and sangria.

    • relaxing says:

      Italy, like many European countries, is actually facing negative population growth.

      It's all the third world countries that need more entertainment and consumer electronics to keep them and their money occupied, rather than sex and babies.

  6. deprives some nations of freshness

    Oh that's why we have all these problems in the world -- some countries have just been left out on the shelf too long!


  7. kyronfive says:

    That's a standard Catholic line, though. I used to hear that one in church when i was still a baby.