situation normal

One of these stories is true. Can you guess which?

FEMA Sends Trucks Full Of Ice For Katrina Victims To Maine

The trucks started arriving this weekend, and they're expected to keep coming through Sunday. City officials say they have no idea why the trucks are here, only that the city has been asked to help out with traffic problems. But the truck drivers NEWSCENTER spoke to said they went all the way down to the gulf coast with the ice -- stayed for a few days -- and then were told by FEMA they needed to drive to Maine to store it.

The truck drivers, who are from all over the country, tell us they were subcontracted by FEMA. They started arriving over the weekend, and city spokesperson Peter Dewitt says as many as 200 trucks could come to the city by the end of the week. No one NEWSCENTER talked to has any idea when, or even if the ice will go back to the gulf coast.

Reporters Comb New Orleans For Heartwarming Story

NEW ORLEANS -- Journalists and TV-news crews continued to comb the wreckage of New Orleans for a heartwarming story last week. "We thought we found a cute lost puppy on a rooftop, but when I tried to retrieve him, he chewed me up pretty good," CNN reporter Gary Tuchman said. "At least we did better than those guys from WGN -- they thought they'd reunited an elderly married couple, but they just happened to have similar last names, and the guy raped the old lady to death in the Superdome basement." Many reporters have abandoned the heartwarming angle, instead concentrating on looting houses in the exclusive Port Charles neighborhood.

Also, Ask Father Hardon.

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Bridge to Nowhere

Downtown Ketchikan, Alaska: Future home of the $223 million Bridge To Nowhere! "Alaska Republican Don Young (R-Pure Evil), overlord of the GOP transportation committee, who insists that no, the money would not be better spent helping Hurricane Katrina victims."

"Yet due to funds in a new transportation bill, which President Bush is scheduled to sign Wednesday, Sallee and his neighbors may soon receive a bridge nearly as long as the Golden Gate Bridge and 80 feet taller than the Brooklyn Bridge. With a $223 million check from the federal government, the bridge will connect Gravina [population less than 50] to the bustling Alaskan metropolis of Ketchikan, pop. 8,000.

Included in the bill's special Alaska projects is $231 million for a bridge that will connect Anchorage to Port MacKenzie, a rural area that has exactly one resident, north of the town of Knik, pop. 22. The land is a network of swamps between a few hummocks of dry ground."

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