"You WON'T look like a DORK!"

Yes, it's that time of year again: the primary impact that Burning Man and methamphetamines have had on the computer industry is the SIGGRAPH Fashion Show. This year we learn that, In The Future, your clothing will look like an office building's HVAC system pooped on your head.

Oh wait, that was last year too. Nevermind.

"The event's latex-clad emcee and founder, Isa Gordon, referred to herself as the 'cyborg host' and read her lines from a head-mounted teleprompt running a Microsoft operating system. The device, which rested over one eye like a pirate patch, crashed several times during the show, then died mid-show when batteries ran out, requiring a return to paper scripts."
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51 Responses:

  1. kyronfive says:

    That's plastic tubing, tubular crin, and foam in her hair, and i think it looks like complete ass.

  2. bifrosty2k says:

    I hope it revolts and suffocates her in her in bio-goo ALA tentical porn.

  3. chloralone says:

    These people are a prime reason why the Quaker lifestyle seems so appealing.

  4. drreagan says:

    And just what is wrong with looking like the office building's HVAC system pooped on your head.

  5. baconmonkey says:

    I remember seeing Captain EO too.

  6. pir_anha says:

    ya know, i am torn -- this or the octopussy? i can't decide.

  7. nidea says:

    And we thought the 1930's vision of the future was quaint.

  8. fantasygoat says:

    Why does the new version of the future suck so much when up until the 70's it was so cool?

  9. If Windows will be running headgear I have to wear in the future, I'm just gonna kill myself now.

  10. bluce says:

    Heh, Isa is an old friend of mine from, you guessed it, Burning Man.

  11. recursive says:

    I, for one, welcome our new HVAC overlords.

  12. unclefemur says:

    Brings to mind Laurie Anderson in the 5th Element. God, what a crappy movie that was!

    • pygmalion says:

      Laurie Anderson in The Fifth Element?

    • gytterberg says:

      I think I'm the only person in the world who loves that movie. It's corny awesomeness. The best comic book style movie around.

      This woman just looks like a tool. She's wearing a headdress of tubes and ducting and her eyepiece runs Windows? How fucking lame is that. It's like a Winamp skin that looks like a stereo deck built into a post apocalyptic Ark of the Covenant.

      • ninjagirl says:

        I think I'm the only person in the world who loves that movie. It's corny awesomeness. The best comic book style movie around.

        Fifth Element is fantastic.

    • jwz says:

      That movie sucked ass. It was pretty, but absolutely terrible. Milla Jovavich's hotness could not save it, and Chris Tucker was just unforgivable.

      Laurie Anderson had nothing to do with the movie at all.

      • dcdan says:

        The only way my brother could convince me not to throw it out was to write the word "boobies" on with a time reference.

  13. leolo says:

    This looks more likely to be what people will be wearing soonish :

  14. transiit says:

    See, it's all about the molded plastic unibrow for me.

    Can't get enough of that hot unibrow action.

    -transiit

    • jwz says:

      That's a CyberTiara, you insensitive clod!

      • transiit says:

        right. and one of these days Neal Stephenson is going to write a book about Groucho Marx and his SteamTiara.

        (provided, of course, that he doesn't keep going into the past and write about the cyberpunk equivalents of the stone age)

        -transiit

        • pavel_lishin says:

          And if he wrote about the stone-age cyberpunks, he'd chisel it in stone for authenticity, and he'd take 20 years to do it, and it would also be longer than the unabridged Encyclopaedia Britannica.

  15. She had a headcrash. Outstanding.

  16. baconmonkey says:

    you know, it really seems like a whole lot of work for the paultry payoff of attaining Queen Of The Nerd Convention status.
    I mean a starving refugee will tell you that a PB&J sandwich is the most amazing tasting thing if he hasn't eaten in days.

    Also, I thought that vision of the future went bankrupt when the dot-coms did?

    besides, everyone knows this is how people will look Our New Future.

  17. xenogram says:

    Slap her in a corset, and you wouldn't be able to tell her from most of the gothic prima donnas in my end of the world.

  18. snitrocket says:

    Wow. They also managed to cross Tina Turner with Molly from Neuromancer.

  19. dossy says:

    Dude, when you said "psycho hose-beast" you weren't kidding!

  20. edlang says:

    Yeah, because they're going to have so much fucking oil with which to make all these plastics.

    Perhaps a process of oil-reclamation from crappy pseudo-futurist costumes will be invented and save the day.