Reply to: anon-77674915@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-06-08, 11:15AM EDTI represent a nationally recognized zoo. Due to the curious nature of this request, I cannot disclose the name of the zoo. Please believe this offer is for real. We recently purchased a female orangutang to mate with our prize male. The problem is a couple of animal trainers were having relations with the male. He has since lost all interest in mating with females of his species. The zoo I represent has authorized me to offer $10,000 to a woman that can "fluff" the male and get him to inseminate the female. Your identity will be completely secret and every effort will be made to keep this from the press. You and I will meet only once. You will be shown pictures of the orangutang at that meeting. I cannot email you a pic in advance as he is very famous and quite recognizable. The only other person that will see you is one of the animal trainers. He will be standing by with a tranquilizer gun in case the female gets jealous, or the male gets a little too rough. You can let the trainer know up front whether you are into the rough stuff. We are anticipating a huge response, so to save time please include a pic and brief bio/resume. I can share these with the orangutang in advance. All info. sent will be destroyed. Thank you and the millions of youngsters who will love to see any baby orangs you help bring into existence thank you.
You need to be able to host, or we can do this in a mutually agreed upon hotel.
Monkey Fluffer
Fluffer Girl Sought for Prize Orangutang
Tags: monkeys, perversions
Current Music: Love Spirals Downwards -- Ring ♬
26 Responses:
Were you searching for "fluffer" or "orangutang" when you found this? ;-)
I was wondering the same thing..
AND
this comment has the highest funny-to-byte ratio i've seen in ages.
-j
Will joke listings ever go out of style on craigslist?
Which zine do you think this is for?
"We are anticipating a huge response, so to save time please include a pic and brief bio/resume. I can share these with the orangutang in advance."
Three guesses as to whether the "ourangutang" is actually a very fat, hairy man.
Once you go Homo Sapien, you never go back.
Intelligence is sexy, and I guess that is true more broadly than we thought.
WHAT
I'd hoist the bullshit flag, but you can't make shit like this up.
Actually, yes, you totally can.
Well, yes, you're right. But it's a little less painful for me to consider that there really is an orangutan with a human fetish out there than to imagine some dude sitting on the couch thinking hmm, how can I fuck with the craigslist people today? ...monkeys! No, wait, monkeys are played out. ...ooo, I know, monkeys with erectile dysfunction! New twist! I like it!
LEAVE ME IN MY DELUSIONAL BUBBLE I BEG YOU.
New here?
Statistically speaking, one can be either new or banned.
it's a little less painful for me to consider that there really is an orangutan with a human fetish out there
hey, if that's what it takes to get it up...
I think I am a little more concerned on your tags for this. Wicked underpants??
The asshats are in full effect.
I'm pleased to see that the "bad ideas" tag I added to the original tags post is getting more use.
You can let the trainer know up front whether you are into the rough stuff.
you know stuff like this is just gonna get MORE furries reading your journal, right?
Statistically speaking, one can be either new or banned.
You need to be able to host, or we can do this in a mutually agreed upon hotel.
Oh man, how much would it rule to be a fly on the wall at that check-in desk?
Just how many "very famous" orangutangs are there?
If this were a real issue, they'd use artificial insemination, or in the UK, make it part of a 'celebrity' show: "She's shagged the UK's most famous footballer and masturbated a pig on TV - this time it's primate!"
Doctor Zaius, obvously.
o/~ Get your paws off me, you/dirty ape! o/~
Please don't post this to Slashdot :)
Since the original post doesn't spell orang utan correctly, I would remain highly skeptical.