clearchannel runs "pirate" radio station

Radio Free Clear Channel:

It's official: even Clear Channel is sick of Clear Channel. The company has set up a fake pirate radio station in Akron, Ohio, which it's using to hurl insults at other Clear Channel stations. For about a week, Radio Free Ohio has feigned overthrowing Ohio's media monopoly by bleeding its broadcasts into other Clear Channel stations. Sayeth the website:

Radio in Ohio sucks. We know, We've listened. [...] Gone are the days of multiple viewpoints and opinions. Instead we get corporate mandated opinions from talking heads. Corporate controlled music playlists, and so on.

And really, what would be a better time than now to trot out that classic Bill Hicks routine on marketing:

"By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself. No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you are, do.

Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously.

No this is not a joke, you're going, 'there's going to be a joke coming,' there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself.

Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, 'he's doing a joke'... there's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a friend - I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations.

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, 'Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart.' Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags! 'Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing.' Godammit, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!

'Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that.' God, I'm just caught in a fucking web! 'Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar...' How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you?"

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8 Responses:

  1. substitute says:

    I knew a guy back in the 80s when I was a college radio elitist. He was a college rep for a record label. He pushed bad fake disco on us while we were being indier than thou. His schtick was joking about being that sleazy agent guy: "Hey howya doin! Look, this stuff is gonna EXPLODE! If you wanna get on the WAVE just SURF it!" etc.

    Five years after college I ran into him and he had passed through the irony barrier and become that guy. He was enthusing about the Little River Band or something with a weird light in his eyes. As mother had warned, he stuck that way.

    Irony is the larval stage between innocence and collaboration.

    • Something similar happened in the Melbourne indie scene. There was an indie-pop night named Shake Some Action, which played the usual sorts of indie music (Pulp, Pixies, &c.) Then one of the DJs (who, incidentally, is somehow involved in the local edition of VICE Magazine) decided to play entirely top-40 R&B and 80s trash (think Michael Jackson and "Eye Of The Tiger" and such) in his sets, in a sort of macho-ironic stance.

      I once went to one of his nights, expecting indie music; the closest they got was New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle", sandwiched between some Destiny's Child and some Bananarama or something.

    • mark242 says:

      If you're looking to relive the glory days of being pushed around by A&R hacks (and just in general watch the gigantic fucking trainwreck that is the music industry today) head on over to [a moment of] The Velvet Rope [zen], which is where all the "cool A&R kids" (trying not to bust out laughing here) hang out.

      Within five posts, you'll want to destroy some physical object.

  2. korgmeister says:

    The disturbing thing is.

    A: I'm a marketing graduate. (Or at least will be once the formalities are dispensed with)
    B: This is the sort of idea I'd come up with.

    Cred. Lost. By me.

    (I kinda fell into Marketing after it turned out I sucked badly at Object Oriented Programming)

    • kfringe says:

      Shit. There have to be at least two morals there.

    • down8 says:

      I fell into MKT, too, after deciding I didn't want to spend my life locked in a dungeon writing code for the aerospace industry.

      Then I saw how scary MKT was and moved to Operations... slightly more technical, but way less greasy.

      -bZj