damn campers!

Coffeeshop Turns off Wi-Fi on Weekends:

"Over the past year it seems that nobody talks to each other any more," she said. On the weekends, 80 to 90 percent of tables and chairs are taken up by people using computers. Many laptop users occupy two or more seats by themselves, as well. [...] Worse than just the sheer number of laptop users, Strongin noted, is that many of these patrons will camp six to eight hoursand not buy anything. This seemed astounding to me, but she said that it was typical, not unusual.

They've gone two weekends with no Wi-Fi, and so far, they're pleased with the results. The staff "loves it," she said, and regular customers are "coming up to us and thanking us." They have received a few nasty emails. But Strongin said that last Sunday was one of the best revenue days they've had on the weekends in a while.

Strongin says that Victrola isn't interested in charging for Wi-Fi as a tool to limit or moderate use [...] but, she said, "I don't like going into a cafe, any cafe, including my own, and just seeing a sea of laptops and people not interacting."

(Note: if you're about to post here about your favorite idea for a technical solution to this social problem, please go do so on Slashdork instead. Your compatriots have that covered already.)

___________________

A local computer store recently removed their free internet cafe -- and when the employees were told about this, they all cheered! It turns out that the only people who ever used it were campers: a few kids who would sit there all day playing networked games, but primarily stinky homeless people.

Also, a friend who works there tells me that 80% of the people using the computers were on online dating sites. 80%! That's pretty creepy. What does it mean?? Are all these people cheating on their spouses, or what?

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clearchannel runs "pirate" radio station

Radio Free Clear Channel:

It's official: even Clear Channel is sick of Clear Channel. The company has set up a fake pirate radio station in Akron, Ohio, which it's using to hurl insults at other Clear Channel stations. For about a week, Radio Free Ohio has feigned overthrowing Ohio's media monopoly by bleeding its broadcasts into other Clear Channel stations. Sayeth the website:

Radio in Ohio sucks. We know, We've listened. [...] Gone are the days of multiple viewpoints and opinions. Instead we get corporate mandated opinions from talking heads. Corporate controlled music playlists, and so on.

And really, what would be a better time than now to trot out that classic Bill Hicks routine on marketing:

"By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself. No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you are, do.

Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously.

No this is not a joke, you're going, 'there's going to be a joke coming,' there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself.

Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, 'he's doing a joke'... there's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a friend - I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations.

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, 'Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart.' Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags! 'Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing.' Godammit, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!

'Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that.' God, I'm just caught in a fucking web! 'Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar...' How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you?"

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I, for one, welcome our new race of atomic supermen

'Mutant' children are best
The Chernobyl nuclear disaster has spawned a generation of "mutant" super-brainy children. Kids growing up in areas damaged by radiation from the plant have a higher IQ and faster reaction times, say Russian doctors. They are also growing faster and have stronger immune systems.

Radiation from the Ukrainian Chernobyl plant swept the globe and affected more than seven million people.

Professor Vladimir Mikhalev from Bryansk State University, has tracked the health of youngsters growing up in areas hit by the fallout since the 1986 accident. He compared their mental agility and health to those in unaffected areas and found they came out top in tests.

The kids had been exposed to radiation in the atmosphere and their food supply.

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