my little friend, for one, welcomes his new robot overlord


"Shakeutron
will never judge you. Shakeutron is here to help. Shakeutron would like to buy you a nice steak dinner. Shakeutron did not mean to offend you. Shakeutron would like you to come back. Shakeutron cries 1.5 gallons of tears."

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29 Responses:

  1. airmax says:

    is it doing _this_ job?

  2. ***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***

    SHAKEUTRON COMMANDS ALL HUMAN MALES TO
    REPORT AT SECTOR 8 FOR FORCED URINATION.

    ***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***

  3. g_na says:

    *blink*

    I think Shakeutron's manufacturer needs to go into business with Fucking Machines.

  4. nosrialleon says:

    "Sir, did you know that you're leaking fluid at an alarming rate?"

  5. mackys says:

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!bang!!!!

  6. xed_geek says:

    This could go horribly horribly wrong!
    OUCH!
    Bad!

  7. ralesk says:

    Does it wash its hands after its previous user?

  8. 33mhz says:

    Shake u tron! I just can't shake... u tron!

  9. Mark my words, Japan had something to do with this.

  10. coldacid says:

    Going to get one for the club?

  11. pavel_lishin says:

    I will never put my penis in a robot.

    Again.

  12. ilovezombies says:

    Even that scares me. It's just wrong!

  13. ralesk says:

    This just occured me, Shakeutron is somewhat of an icon of watersports, don't you think?

  14. edlang says:

    You'd hope that the hands time out if the sensor malfunctions, otherwise it'll really have you by the balls.

    Not that the sensors would ever malfunction.

  15. valentwine says:

    They should install one of these as Marcel Duchamp's headstone.

    Shakeutron to Japanese: STAND CLOSER PUNY HUMAN, IT'S SHORTER THAN YOU THINK.

  16. pfrank says:

    Is that a little camera pointing at the, uh, target area? Strictly for positioning I'm sure. The video doesn't get saved anywhere at all, nope.

  17. sleepsheep says:

    Shake, shake, shake
    Shake, shake, shake
    Shake your... oh HELL NO! I'll just do it myself.

  18. phoenixredux says:

    So one day somebody said, "You know, the biggest problem I have in life that could be fixed with a little bit of technology is that I just hate touching my penis. If only a robot could do it for me!"

    It makes you wonder what they do when they use a bathroom without a Shakeutron.

    • airmax says:

      it could be supposed that this one was a woman... imagine feminists breeding up a generation of man addicted to robo-urinal, soft, controlled, helpless dying of urinal-blow if they can't find a shakeutronned bathroom.

      brrr.

  19. valacosa says:

    I never thought of the shakedown as a two handed job, yet this robot has two arms. What's the other arm for? Cuppage?

    I'll be damned if I let a publicly used robot cup my nuts.

  20. d1663m says:

    Yah, I don't see anywhere that it could wash its hands. Except in its own bowl. No thanks. Besides, some guys I know would feel obliged to help it "wash" its hands... and camera... uh.. maybe the floor some too.

  21. jwm says:

    <lj-raw>

    Reminds me of the talkative toilet from Lazarus Churchyard.

    </lj-raw>

  22. iota says:

    i hope this thing is like R2-D2, where an angry midget hides inside a robot all day working with dicks.