"Shakeutron will never judge you. Shakeutron is here to help. Shakeutron would like to buy you a nice steak dinner. Shakeutron did not mean to offend you. Shakeutron would like you to come back. Shakeutron cries 1.5 gallons of tears."
my little friend, for one, welcomes his new robot overlord
Tags: perversions, robots, the future
Current Music: Dieselboy -- Invid (E-Sassin VIP) ♬
29 Responses:
is it doing _this_ job?
Sorry, a what-job?
***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***
SHAKEUTRON COMMANDS ALL HUMAN MALES TO
REPORT AT SECTOR 8 FOR FORCED URINATION.
***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***
*blink*
I think Shakeutron's manufacturer needs to go into business with Fucking Machines.
"Sir, did you know that you're leaking fluid at an alarming rate?"
"Let me just patch you up with some hot resin!"
"My friend and I have to go and perform some mindless repetitive tasks."
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!bang!!!!
This could go horribly horribly wrong!
OUCH!
Bad!
Does it wash its hands after its previous user?
Shake u tron! I just can't shake... u tron!
Mark my words, Japan had something to do with this.
Going to get one for the club?
I will never put my penis in a robot.
Again.
Even that scares me. It's just wrong!
This just occured me, Shakeutron is somewhat of an icon of watersports, don't you think?
You'd hope that the hands time out if the sensor malfunctions, otherwise it'll really have you by the balls.
Not that the sensors would ever malfunction.
They should install one of these as Marcel Duchamp's headstone.
Shakeutron to Japanese: STAND CLOSER PUNY HUMAN, IT'S SHORTER THAN YOU THINK.
Is that a little camera pointing at the, uh, target area? Strictly for positioning I'm sure. The video doesn't get saved anywhere at all, nope.
Hmmm - telepresence?
Shake, shake, shake
Shake, shake, shake
Shake your... oh HELL NO! I'll just do it myself.
So one day somebody said, "You know, the biggest problem I have in life that could be fixed with a little bit of technology is that I just hate touching my penis. If only a robot could do it for me!"
It makes you wonder what they do when they use a bathroom without a Shakeutron.
it could be supposed that this one was a woman... imagine feminists breeding up a generation of man addicted to robo-urinal, soft, controlled, helpless dying of urinal-blow if they can't find a shakeutronned bathroom.
brrr.
It's long been my view that most urinals are desgined by man-hating women in the first place. You might be onto something.
I never thought of the shakedown as a two handed job, yet this robot has two arms. What's the other arm for? Cuppage?
I'll be damned if I let a publicly used robot cup my nuts.
I assumed the other hand was for the zipper. Or perhaps it has an optional hernia check feature.
Yah, I don't see anywhere that it could wash its hands. Except in its own bowl. No thanks. Besides, some guys I know would feel obliged to help it "wash" its hands... and camera... uh.. maybe the floor some too.
<lj-raw>
Reminds me of the talkative toilet from Lazarus Churchyard.
</lj-raw>
i hope this thing is like R2-D2, where an angry midget hides inside a robot all day working with dicks.