"Dear Japanese People"

Today in Headless Bondage Corpse-Fucking News:
"For complete sexual intercourse. From with the front and it is easy to hold from with rear, position of the waist is decided, can insert simply. You use the waist while it is thinking, lunge extremely, receive easily. It is largest advantage of the beads make compound cushion. In practicality, you compare with the existing Dutch wife and do not become the thing. Please finish while it is the piston, the pushing, rolling and the thinking."
Tags: ,

37 Responses:

  1. mandil says:



    One ticket for the non-groping train please?

  2. calliste says:

    OMG! I want one!

  3. i'd like to see something like this including narration from the existing text on the home shopping network.

    • jwz says:

      The text sounds like Katamari Damacy: "And now to Earth, yes? For the rolling and the pushing and the lunging? Earth sure is full of pistons!"

      • cyeh says:

        That was the most awesome thing I have read. It was like a cold bucket of awesome was thrown in my face.

        • krick says:

          Now, THAT was the most awesome thing *I* have read. It too, was, as you so eloquently put it, "...like a cold bucket of awesome was thrown in my face".

  4. hollyqueen says:

    You have broken my brain.

  5. chrome_halo says:

    come on, where the fuck is the head. you can't very well get "head" without a "head". my models incomplete, I want a refund.

  6. tkil says:

    I'm reminded of this picture:

    [perfect woman]

  7. quercus says:

    The headless product is weird

    The demure little salesgirl in the pictures is freaky.

  8. quercus says:

    "Shari Lewis"

  9. usufructer says:


    When did vulvas start coming with corded closures? Gives a whole new meaning to "showing them the ropes".

  10. scosol says:

    "lunge extremely, receive easily"- words to live by

  11. ammonoid says:

    Not only is there the requisite schoolgirl model, there is also just the legless torso version.

    Ugh. I feel dirty now.

    • kchrist says:

      Nice to see they also provide helpful how-to diagrams.

      I can only imagine what that text might say.

    • captain18 says:

      The one I find more creepy though is the last one on that page. First is the fact that it's still in the box. Then I can't tell if it's surrounded by packing material or whether it's supposed to be a wedding dress. And I can't make up my mind which would be more insidious.

  12. korgmeister says:


    I would have thought that after doing a degree in their evil, soul-destroying language, Japan would have lost its ability to shock me.

    I stand corrected.

    (VERY glad I ever access my LJ at work now. I really wouldn't want to explain this one of my boss =P)

  13. bitpuddle says:

    My God--I really do love Japanese people.

  14. gytterberg says:

    "Lunge extremely" needs to be a band, and "the pushing, the rolling and the thinking" needs to be their first album.

  15. jas4711 says:

    There is a soft-core version too:

  16. willyumtx says:

    Oh my god. I am stunned.

    So soft and squishy yet perverse at the same time.

    "There are more things under heaven and earth...."

  17. ooooo, an upgrade for the dna's mannequins?


  18. irma_vep says:

    As with electronic technology and cars, the Japanese have done a better job with inflatable dolls than the Americans.