The other day I was flipping channels and happened across two programs of equal and opposite horror, airing simultaneously.

The first was a makeover show where, as near as I can tell, they just give you a pile of money and send you shopping. Their victim was "a thirty year old woman who is still going for that punk/goth look."

I didn't see the "before" pictures, but they frumped her out into someone's mom. Everyone excitedly hopped up and down.

Meanwhile, over on Fuse (the Canadian MTV) they had a "metal makeover" show, where these three screeching harpies in a convertible showed up at the house of some guy who really liked metal but didn't dress the part. They made fun of his parents, bought him a spiked arm-band, and tried to talk him into getting a piercing or a tattoo.

The ladies shook their fists out of the car and yelled "Rock has come to town."

So I figure these two shows cancelled each other out, and I didn't actually see anything at all. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.