Priests and Cock: a match made in heaven

Apparently the Jews are tired of the Catholics getting all the press:

Officials fear babies contracted herpes during circumcisions

NEW YORK (AP) -- Ten days after Rabbi Yitzhok Fischer performed religious circumcisions on twins last October, one died of herpes and the other tested positive for the virus, according to complaint filed by the health department in Manhattan Supreme Court. The complaint, reported in Wednesday's edition of the New York Daily News, also said health officials later found a third baby who had contracted herpes after being circumcised by Fischer in late 2003.

Under Jewish law, a mohel -- someone who performs circumcisions -- draws blood from the circumcision wound. Most mohels do it by hand, but Fischer uses a rare practice where he uses his mouth.

"I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce."

-- J. Edgar Hoover                                        

Clearly they should have used the SmartKlamp.

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42 Responses:

  1. ralesk says:

    I, for one, am not surprised the slightest to see this story in your blog.  Hardly news though - a year ago when I left certain forums dedicated for the topic there was another event just the same.

  2. pavel_lishin says:

    I think that the bigger story is "Rabbi performs oral sex on infants," with the Herpes-related deaths taking second place.

    Or am I just desensitized by sensationalist media?

  3. um.

    um.

    um.

    STOP HURTING MY BRAIN, JAMIE.

  4. coldacid says:

    One of these days you must write a book. Compiling all these stories and news you find. I swear, it'd be a bestseller.

  5. kyronfive says:

    What is shocking me is WHY ISN'T ANYONE IN THIS ARTICLE NOTING HOW FUCKING ILLEGAL IT IS FOR A GROWN MAN TO BE FELATING MALE INFANTS?????????

    • jwz says:

      He's not fellating, he's biting off the little feller's little feller in a time-honored cannibalistic religious mutilation ritual, you heartless, insensitive wench!

    • For the same reason no one portrays pubescent girls' gynecological exams as them getting fingered by child molesters.

      Just because it involves a penis doesn't mean it's sexual. The fact he uses his mouth and not his fingers doesn't change that.

      • kyronfive says:

        Hey, hey... i was being funny. I already knew that. It's in the same way that a traditional circumsicsion is not a doctor giving an infant a handjob.

        And incidentally, just so you have a little background on me, my family is half-jewish. My little brother had a proper bris with a mohel and the whole nine yards which i attended and obviously it wasn't sexual in the slightest.

      • wildsoda says:

        ...no one portrays pubescent girls' gynecological exams as them getting fingered by child molesters.

        Well, not to split any fine, downy hairs here, but pubescent girls don't get gynecological exams. Adolescent girls (i.e. teenagers with functioning sexual systems) do. And if an OB/GYN ever used his/her mouth to perform a pelvic exam, don't you think people would see it as sexual?

        While there's perhaps no way to prove that the mohel was doing anything "sexual" (i.e. getting his jollies) by putting his mouth on the babies' putzes, I think there's a *huge* difference between using fingers and using a mouth, and that the latter is absolutely inappropriate behavior coming from someone who's supposed to be a professional (and the fact that it's inappropriate contact could certainly raise sex-related concerns). The article noted that the standard -- and therefore appropriate -- practice is for the mohel to use his hands.

        I happen to be against circumcision (as well as Jewish), but if I ever had a bris for any son of mine and the mohel put his mouth on my kid's wangdoodle during any part of the procedure, I'd be absolutely outraged, even if he didn't get herpes.

  6. spider88 says:

    Interesting. Since both herpes and Jewish circumcision rituals have been around for eons, I wonder why such things haven't been taken into consideration.

  7. ajaxxx says:

    Clearly they should have used the SmartKlamp.

    insert bad pun on being all verkl[ae]mpt here.

  8. fudge_report says:

    I must say that Rabbi Fischer's actions are pretty disgusting, traditional or not.

    That said, the babies could've just as easily contracted herpes during delivery. Still, since it's a case of negligence, that won't be a sufficient defense.

    Thank G-D.

  9. benediktus says:

    maybe they should've introduced a health check for mohel, like that for porno actors.

    and having j. edgar hoover in mind: mohels getting certified/verified by CDC and WHO?

  10. badc0ffee says:

    That's what happens when you let your child's open wound come into contact with someone's mouth.
    Does the mohel kneel down and suck blood from the little penis, or raise the infant up to his mouth? Are his eyes closed while this is happening? What a curious practice.