Steve, Don't Eat It!

Steve, Don't Eat It!
"Not surprisingly, I've come up with a little slogan the peeps who handle Potted Meat Marketing can use (no charge, as always): POTTED MEAT FOOD PRODUCT: Made By, For, And With Assholes."

Reminiscent of How Much is Inside.

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Current Music: Lard -- Hell Fudge ♬

dang brand necrophilia.

bradthemad reports:
"The Dukes Of Hazzard are brought to you by Netscape."

Never ones to miss an opportunity for brand necrophilia, AOL/Time-Warner sponsored a weekend full of Dukes Of Hazzard reruns on the redneck channel this past weekend, and the above quote is taken verbatim from the into-spots bumpers.

Results 1 - 10 of about 139 for "Brand Necrophilia".

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The Faceless Horror of our Fashionable New Robot Overlords

Palette:
"Mannequins have been static but this will pose for the nearest person by sensing his or her position," robot designer Tatsuya Matsui told a news conference Monday.

Palette will double-up as an industrial spy, with the maker planning to program it to judge the age and sex of shoppers and even identify the bags they are carrying and pass along the information to stores for marketing purposes.

Otsuka said it was "safer that the robot stays in a showcase."

"Consumer attention would be diverted to the face if there were one," said Matsui.

Also, cower in fear of Posy the Mouthless Flower Girl!


"I'll eat your soul"™

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march of the wireheads

Pacemaker 'cure' for depression
Scientists in Toronto studied six patients who had suffered years of untreatable clinical depression. Four women and two men had electrodes planted deep into their brain to stimulate one of the areas involved in mood control.

Each underwent local anaesthetic before doctors drilled two small holes in their skulls. Then, using magnetic resonance imaging to guide them, doctors inserted two thin electrode wires into the brain area. The other ends of the wires were threaded under the scalp down to the lower neck area.

Next, the patients underwent a general anaesthetic to have a pulse generator implant, the "pacemaker", sewn in under the skin of their chest. The wires were hooked up to this to provide constant brain stimulation.

All six volunteers reported acute effects once the current was switched on. These included a sudden brightening of the room and a "disappearing of the void".

So that's kinda neat, but:

Prior to treatment the patients had failed to respond to conventional therapy such as electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) or psychotherapy.

ECT, it's not just for interrogation any more! Did you know you could taser depression away? "Still depressed?" ZAP! "Still depressed?" ZAP! I wonder if this is before or after the leeches.

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God Bless the Bloodsuckers

FCC Exonerates Angel:
A love scene from The WB's canceled Angel that showed a female character turning into a vampire and biting her partner's neck did not overstep federal indecency rules, the FCC ruled on Feb. 25. It was one of two scenes from a November 2003 episode of Angel that were not "sufficiently graphic or explicit to render the program patently offensive" by contemporary standards, the FCC said in denying an indecency complaint from the Parents Television Council.
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Nude Bible Study

anon-60620508@craigslist.org wrote:
Hands on Nude Bible Study group meets every other Tuesday at 8:30pm. Email me for directions. Must be over 21 All body types welcome. Come be one with us!
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Catwoman has balls

George Bush, Halle Berry share worst film honors

Halle Berry was named worst actress of 2004 by the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation for her performance in "Catwoman" and she showed up to accept her "Razzie" carrying the Oscar she won in 2002 for "Monster's Ball."

"They can't take this away from me, it's got my name on it!" she quipped. A raucous crowd cheered her on as she gave a stirring recreation of her Academy Award acceptance speech, including tears.

She thanked everyone involved in "Catwoman," a film she said took her from the top of her profession to the bottom.

"I want to thank Warner Brothers for casting me in this piece of shit," she said as she dragged her agent on stage and warned him "next time read the script first."

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Constantine

If you are not a fan of the comic book, Constantine might be enjoyable. It's not a very good movie, but it's not terrible for what it is. But they completely, utterly failed to capture the character.

The comic book Constantine is a con man. That's it, that is his one purpose in life. He knows a tiny bit of magic, and convinces everyone he knows more than he does, but fundamentally, he's a grifter and a self-centered bastard.

The movie Constantine is a freelance exorcist, spending his time pulling devils out of little girls in an attempt to attone for his own attempted suicide and earn his way into heaven. Um, what? Who's this guy? I guess he saves the world or something. By the time it happened, I didn't care.

Tilda Swinton is absolutely fantastic as Gabriel, and the guy who plays Satan is pretty good. Everybody else phones it in.

The broken-skull demons were totally uninspired and boring. They were less scary than nippless harpies.

And I cannot believe we were expected to take it seriously when he was attacked by Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas.

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Current Music: Various -- "s"peEd ♬

"Cursed", or, "I been robbed."

Cursed is the worst movie I've subjected myself to since Dracula 2000. Oh my god, fantastically bad. Even the effects were bad: during the big climactic werewolf transformation scene I thought, "wow, that's the hairiest Pillsbury Doughboy I've ever seen." The prominently-featured wax statue of the Lon Chaney Wolfman was more convincing, and it didn't even move. (The statue turned in ten times the performance of Christina Ricci, too. Clearly the statue should have gotten top billing.)

Rick Baker won an Oscar for the werewolf effects in An American Werewolf in London, and this is the best he could do? He should just run the stock footage instead of using that inflatable hairy baloon. There have been better effects on "Enterprise." Seriously.

"Did you not even consult Rotten Tomatoes?" rzr_grl sensibly asked. "I didn't think I needed to! Elm Street! Serpent and the Rainbow! Scream!"

I knew Wes Craven had executive-produced a whole bunch of shit written and directed by other people, like the execrable Wishmaster (though I had forgotten that Dracula 2000 was, in fact, one of these.) I had already caught on that "Wes Craven Presents" means "stay the fuck away." But he actually directed this bloated turd.

Fuck you, Craven. We're finished.

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why is there not one through the crotch?

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