Heywood Jablome reporting:

Hebron pastor charged with abuse

A Hebron pastor is being held in the Licking County Jail, accused of sexually assaulting a girl who frequently attended his church.

Lonny J. Aleshire Jr., 34, associate pastor at the Licking Baptist Church, 1380 Beaver Run Road, Hebron, is charged with one count of sexual battery, a third-degree felony.

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cock safety

State Senator Wants Cockfights, with Gloves

OKLAHOMA CITY (Reuters) - An Oklahoma senator hopes to revive cockfighting in the state by putting tiny boxing gloves on the roosters instead of razors.

The Oklahoma legislature outlawed the blood sport in 2002 because of its cruelty to the roosters, which are slashed and pecked to death while human spectators bet on the outcome. But State Sen. Frank Shurden, a Democrat from Henryetta and a long-time defender of cockfighting, said the ban had wiped out a $100-million business.

To try to revive it, he has proposed that roosters wear little boxing gloves attached to their spurs, as well as lightweight, chicken-sized vests configured with electronic sensors to record hits and help keep score.

"It's like the fencing that you see on the Olympics, you know, where they have little balls on the ends of the swords and the fencers wear vests," said Shurden. "That's the same application that would be applied to the roosters."

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the pictures, they burn.

fantasygoat would like you to vote on your favorite picture of the year. This is mine:


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Current Music: Lamb -- Sweetheart ♬

Action Figures of Earthly Delights

Hieronymus Bosch action figures:

Also Escher, Dali, and (unexpectedly) a whole bunch of non-surrealists too. Cory says these are for sale, but I don't see any evidence of that.

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bad monkey. no butter.

Semenly Inappropriate
"In an item cleverly headed Butter Be Startin' Somethin', the British website Popbitch says that when Michael Jackson's hanging with his special little friends, he refers to semen as 'duck butter.' (Maybe that's 'Duck! Butter!')"
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vectorworks or MiniCAD sought

Dear Lazyweb,

I've got a bunch of MiniCAD files that our architect gave us years ago that I've never been able to read. (In fact, I don't even know what's in them.) Jonathan tried the free "Vectorworks Viewer" on them, and it can't open them because they're too old... (apparently the viewer can't open files created earlier than version 9, though the full version of Vectorworks can.)

If you have access to something that can read these, please convert them to DXF for me!

Update: Mission accomplished. Thank you, Lazyweb. You're the best Lazyweb ever.

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DNA Lounge: Wherein photos are presented.

Photos of Jill Tracy are up now. She's great! If you missed her this time, she'll be back opening for Nina Hagen (this time for sure) on Wed, Feb 9th.
Current Music: Curve -- Polaroid ♬

poo flag two

As noted today:
Police hunt poo protesters

Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking miniature US flags into piles of dog poo in public parks.

Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth, said: "This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time."

"We have sent out extra patrols to try to catch whoever is doing this in the act," said police spokesman Reiner Kuechler. "But frankly, we don't know what we would do if we caught them red handed."

Legal experts say there is no law against using faeces as a flag stand and the federal constitution is vague on the issue.

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sendmail help needed

Dear Lazyweb, please be my sendmail bitch.

I have an OpenBSD 3.5 machine ("membrane") running sendmail 8.12.11. I want all mail originating on that machine to be delivered to my mail host ("nucleus"), instead of being delivered locally. I can't figure out any way to make this happen; no matter what I try, mail to root still gets delivered into the local /var/mail/ without ever making an attempt to contact the mail host.

<LJ-CUT text=" --More--(11%) ">

Setting SMART_HOST has worked on every Linux machine I've used in the last decade, so I don't see why it won't work here.

(This machine sends almost no mail -- just the occasional cron job -- so I don't want to hear any crap about how great something-other-than-sendmail is. Don't make me ban you.)

So, in /etc/mail/aliases, I have:

    root: jwz
    jwz: jwz@nucleus.dnalounge.com

/etc/rc.conf says:

    sendmail_flags="-L sm-mta -C/etc/mail/localhost.cf -bd -q30m"

In /usr/share/sendmail/cf/openbsd-localhost.mc I have:


which means that /usr/share/sendmail/cf/openbsd-localhost.cf, /etc/mail/localhost.cf, and /etc/mail/sendmail.cf all say:


I also tried adding "DHnucleus" to the .cf files. No luck.

There is nothing in /etc/mail/local-host-names.

(Yes, I have newaliased, HUPped, and even rebooted.)

Oddly, doing "Mail jwz@dnalounge.com" produces a bounce from localhost that says

    MX list for dnalounge.com. points back to membrane.dnalounge.com

which is just not true!

    % dig dnalounge.com mx | grep MX
    ;dnalounge.com.        IN  MX
    dnalounge.com.   3600  IN  MX  5 nucleus.dnalounge.com.

(Note, that's "internal" DNS, you will see different results if you run that from where you are sitting right now.)

When I do this:

    % date | Mail -vs test jwz

    jwz... Connecting to [] via relay...
    220 membrane.dnalounge.com ESMTP Sendmail 8.12.11/8.12.11;
       Sat, 22 Jan 2005 01:01:59 -0800 (PST)
    >>> EHLO membrane.dnalounge.com
    250-membrane.dnalounge.com Hello smmsp@localhost [],
       pleased to meet you
    250 HELP
    >>> MAIL From:<jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com> SIZE=52
    250 2.1.0 <jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com>... Sender ok
    >>> RCPT To:<jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com>
    >>> DATA
    250 2.1.5 <jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com>... Recipient ok
    354 Enter mail, end with "." on a line by itself
    >>> .
    250 2.0.0 j0M91xEd006943 Message accepted for delivery
    jwz... Sent (j0M91xEd006943 Message accepted for delivery)
    Closing connection to []
    >>> QUIT
    221 2.0.0 membrane.dnalounge.com closing connection

This gets logged:

    Jan 22 01:01:59 membrane sendmail[6497]: j0M91xPN006497:
     from=jwz, size=52, class=0, nrcpts=1,
    Jan 22 01:01:59 membrane sm-mta[6943]: j0M91xEd006943:
     from=<jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com>, size=384, class=0, nrcpts=1,
     proto=ESMTP, daemon=MTA, relay=smmsp@localhost []
    Jan 22 01:01:59 membrane sendmail[6497]: j0M91xPN006497:
     to=jwz, ctladdr=jwz (500/500), delay=00:00:00,
     xdelay=00:00:00, mailer=relay, pri=30052,
     relay=[] [], dsn=2.0.0,
     stat=Sent (j0M91xEd006943 Message accepted for delivery)
    Jan 22 01:01:59 membrane sm-mta[11426]: j0M91xEd006943:
     ctladdr=<jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com> (500/500),
     delay=00:00:00, xdelay=00:00:00, mailer=local, pri=30635,
     dsn=2.0.0, stat=Sent

And this shows up in /var/mail/jwz on membrane:

    From jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com Sat Jan 22 01:01:59 2005
    Received: from membrane.dnalounge.com (smmsp@localhost [])
     by membrane.dnalounge.com (8.12.11/8.12.11)
     with ESMTP id j0M91xEd006943
     for <jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com>;
     Sat, 22 Jan 2005 01:01:59 -0800 (PST)
    Received: (from root@localhost)
     by membrane.dnalounge.com (8.12.11/8.12.11/Submit)
     id j0M91xPN006497
     for jwz; Sat, 22 Jan 2005 01:01:59 -0800 (PST)
    Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2005 01:01:59 -0800 (PST)
    From: Jamie Zawinski <jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com>
    Message-Id: <200501220901.j0M91xPN006497@membrane.dnalounge.com>
    To: jwz@membrane.dnalounge.com
    Subject: test

    Sat Jan 22 01:01:59 PST 2005

Note complete lack of any mention of nucleus. (I get the same result if I mail to "jwz@nucleus.dnalounge.com" instead of just "jwz".)

According to "host", membrane does realize that membrane and nucleus have different IP addresses.

Any ideas?

Update: Fixed! The answer is, put FEATURE(`msp', `nucleus.dnalounge.com') in submit.mc, and don't screw around with "smart_host" or "nullclient" at all. Thanks a lot to all those who helped.

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rotary cellphone

At last! Unlike the last attempt I heard of, this one actually uses a rotary dial! However, they say that incoming calls don't ring, and the sound quality is not as good as it should be. But a fine hack nonetheless.
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Current Music: Luxt -- Intent ♬

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